Intro to Me

[x60tablet]

Hello,

I stumbled upon this website during my hourly crusade to discover all the naughtiness on the internets so that I may study them in detail, figure out how they tempt good righteous Christians, and get some small semblance of joy by vigorously exorcising the demonic visitations from my body.

From time to time I look for bastions of truth and light filled with like minded individuals who perhaps can point me to new avenues of sin that I may explore and learn how to combat. I admit, at first I was very impressed by this forum, but as I read, I noticed with remarkable frequency glaring misunderstandings and misconceptions about the word of God.

Clearly, one should blindly follow without question the utterances of those who tell us that they have studied the word of God. Yet I see so many here who contradict the words of Pastors and Reverends, men of God who have clearly studied to show themselves approved of God, workmen who needed not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

So friends, as you can imagine, at first I was unable to contain my anger. But just as I was about to CTRL+F4 this website into auto web history erasure oblivion, I thought, WWJD? Remembering what I'd heard on sunday morning radio 103.5 FM WWJD, I decided it is better for me to join and attempt to educate those foolishly unsaved among us.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Intro to Me

What Church do you attend? Who is the current Pastor? Do you have a favorite Bible verse? Which One? Are you married? Does your husband know you are here? What kind of guns do you own? Have you ever been arrested? How many cars do you have and what kind? What is your favorite color? Have you ever climbed a mountain only to realize it was step on the other side too? Do you wear sneakers all the time? How many meats taste like chicken, do not guess, Jesus is watching and he knows when you are fibbing.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Intro to Me

Welcome, and God bless you!
Yes, it is a trial coming here every day and being battered by the vicious persecution from the unsaved trash, but don't forget that the persecution was foretold in the Bible and we are blessed for putting up with it!

[x60tablet]

Re: Intro to Me

What Church do you attend?
Who is the current Pastor? Do you have a favorite Bible verse? Which One? Are you married? Does your husband know you are here? What kind of guns do you own? Have you ever been arrested? How many cars do you have and what kind? What is your favorite color? Have you ever climbed a mountain only to realize it was step on the other side too? Do you wear sneakers all the time? How many meats taste like chicken, do not guess, Jesus is watching and he knows when you are fibbing.

1. I attend a small gathering of true christians in my city. We are a small and persecuted bunch. The devil is always throwing stumbling blocks in our path trying to keep us from meetings and as a result we usually are only together about twice a year: Easter and Boxing day (the day after Christmas).

2. We are still praying with trembling for the Lord to send us a good Shepherd.

3. No I do not have a favorite Bible verse. I love all the verses equally.

4. I am unmarried and male.

5. I own several high capacity extreme pump action rapid fire blasting Hasbro Aquashock Hydroblitz. I believe the civilian population has given them the playful appellation of "Supersoaker".

6. I do not recognize the authority of my state, so technically, I've never been arrested.

7. I currently have two cars, a heathen BMW and Godly AMC Eagle wagon.

8. At a young age, I realized that colors are just the Devil's way of securing a foothold into your soul. I then decided to always answer such questions with "purple" to help obfuscate any paths to my heart.

9. Why climb mountains when the good Lord will move them if you would only ask?

10. This is a trick question, meat tastes like meat, not chicken.

[True Disciple]

Re: Intro to Me

1. I attend a small gathering of true christians in my city. We are a small and persecuted bunch. The devil is always throwing stumbling blocks in our path trying to keep us from meetings and as a result we usually are only together about twice a year: Easter and Boxing day (the day after Christmas).

Being a True Christian™ results in being persecuted, but being persecuted does not necessarily result in being a True Christian™. Keep that in mind.

6. I do not recognize the authority of my state, so technically, I've never been arrested.

Jesus teaches to obey the government.

8. At a young age, I realized that colors are just the Devil's way of securing a foothold into your soul. I then decided to always answer such questions with "purple" to help obfuscate any paths to my heart.

You love purple? That's not a Christian color. Are you sure you are a Christian?

10. This is a trick question, meat tastes like meat, not chicken.

Umm...chickens are animals. Meat means animal flesh. So chicken meat tastes like chicken.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Intro to Me

Welcome to God's favorite forum. What is the significance of your username?

[x60tablet]

Re: Intro to Me

Being a True Christian™ results in being persecuted, but being persecuted does not necessarily result in being a True Christian™. Keep that in mind.

I will!

Jesus teaches to obey the government.

Though ultimately he is the highest power. If my government ordered me to kill innocent True Christians, I would have to respectfully refuse. I think the good Lord meant for me to obey my government so long as it does not conflict with being a True Christian.

You love purple? That's not a Christian color. Are you sure you are a Christian?

Perhaps you didn't read the reason I gave for the response of "purple" as a favorite color.

Umm...chickens are animals. Meat means animal flesh. So chicken meat tastes like chicken.

I will not be lead down this garden path. Meat tastes like meat. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[x60tablet]

Re: Intro to Me

Welcome to God's favorite forum. What is the significance of your username?

The good Lord has blessed me with an x60 tablet so that I can better serve him by having the ability to use a touch screen when the situation arises.

[True Disciple]

Re: Intro to Me

Perhaps you didn't read the reason I gave for the response of "purple" as a favorite color.

Oh yes, I did, but it is more of an advice: if you go around promoting purple as your favorite color, people might get (wrong) ideas. If it doesn't matter to you, you could better say blue or yellow.

[x60tablet]

Re: Intro to Me

Oh yes, I did, but it is more of an advice: if you go around promoting purple as your favorite color, people might get (wrong) ideas. If it doesn't matter to you, you could better say blue or yellow.

That could be true but I wouldn't be a christian if I cared that much about what other people thought. I only care about what my God thinks and he thinks purple is the color of royalty. So, I will continue giving that as an answer.

[True Disciple]

Re: Intro to Me

That could be true but I wouldn't be a christian if I cared that much about what other people thought. I only care about what my God thinks and he thinks purple is the color of royalty. So, I will continue giving that as an answer.

Allright. Don't say nobody warned you.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Intro to Me

That could be true but I wouldn't be a christian if I cared that much about what other people thought. I only care about what my God thinks and he thinks purple is the color of royalty. So, I will continue giving that as an answer.

There is no color of royalty with God.

What color are His magnificent robes? White, just like his Favorite People™. Not 'purple', that is the color a jigaboo dictator wears in africa.

Son, you made so many mis-statements, told so many lies, I (along with some of the Pastors and Reverends) are feling like maybe you do not belong here and may be better suited to one of those catlick sites. There, liars and pedos co-exist.

[x60tablet]

Re: Intro to Me

There is no color of royalty with God.

What color are His magnificent robes? White, just like his Favorite People™. Not 'purple', that is the color a jigaboo dictator wears in africa.

Son, you made so many mis-statements, told so many lies, I (along with some of the Pastors and Reverends) are feling like maybe you do not belong here and may be better suited to one of those catlick sites. There, liars and pedos co-exist.

God doesn't wear robes. Purple being a color of royalty does not have anything to do with God. Royalty is only a term that applies to human beings and human societies. Purple is also a color (apparently I'm told, gay) white kings also wore in Europe. (Unless of course by being white is enough to make wearing purple not gay)

[Nobar King]

Re: Intro to Me

You sure know a lot about robes. Makes me wonder...

[x60tablet]

Re: Intro to Me

Allright. Don't say nobody warned you.

Nobody has to warn me. I've been not listening to most people all of my life.

Perhaps that should be "nobody CAN warn me" since I'm not listening to them. . .