Hello everyone! I'm Mr. Blackhall (as most people call me!) and I'm from Canada. I've never really been exposed to much religion before (it's not taught in our schools for some reason), so please bear with me! I know it shouldn't be a problem though, you seem like a nice group of people! I do have a question before I get acquainted, though. Please forgive me if this sounds like a stupid question (remember: not from around here!), but who exactly is Jesus? I've heard a lot of you guys mention him, so I'm just curious. I don't want to feel like I'm missing something here. Thanks a lot!
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Re: Hello, friends!
Please read the Holy Bible and don't come back until you did.
Some scripture about YOU!
How little we care about your insults: Matthew 5:10 "Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Why you need to follow the entire Bible: 2 Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness"
Why it is very important to avoid hell (you are heading straight for it at the moment): Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched"
Being an idiot is not an excuse: Romans 1:21 "Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened."5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Re: Hello, friends!
Oh, sorry. Do you know where I can buy a copy? I'm afraid most of the stores are closed because of the Olympics, so I would really appreciate it if someone could let me know the jist of it until I can find one somewhere. Thanks!
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Re: Hello, friends!
I'm not surprised that you've never heard of Jesus, being from Canada.
Jesus is the son of God (also God Himself), who suffered and died (temporarily) on the cross for my sins (but not yours unless you believe in Him).
He wants me to tell you that your only hope of avoiding an eternity in hell is to read His Holy Word, obey His every command (there are thousands) and give Him your unconditional love. Otherwise, you'll be signing your own death warrant and will be tortured in a lake of fire forever and ever, while those of us up in Heaven watch and laugh.

That about sums it up.
Welcome to God's favorite church.

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Re: Hello, friends!
Just read it online: http://www.biblegateway.com/versions...sion-KJV-BibleOriginally posted by Blackhall View PostOh, sorry. Do you know where I can buy a copy? I'm afraid most of the stores are closed because of the Olympics, so I would really appreciate it if someone could let me know the jist of it until I can find one somewhere. Thanks!
Or download it for your MP3 player: http://www.audiotreasure.com/indexKJV.htm5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Re: Hello, friends!
The Word of God can be had for free if you just visit your local Independant Baptist Church and ask the Pastor for one. Make sure you ask specifically for a KJV1611 Authorized Version Bible. Assuming there are any in Cannukistan.Originally posted by Blackhall View PostOh, sorry. Do you know where I can buy a copy? I'm afraid most of the stores are closed because of the Olympics, so I would really appreciate it if someone could let me know the jist of it until I can find one somewhere. Thanks!
Also you can read one online at www.biblegateway.com. And for your assisted reading pleasure, Brother V has got a wonderful thread going HERE called "Bible in a Year."

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Re: Hello, friends!
Jesus died "temporarily"? I'm afraid I don't understand. Other than that, jesus sounds like a pretty cool guy. As for the bible, I think I heard a part of it somewhere. I think it was about this guy who made a bet with his neighbour that his kid would still love him even if he made his life depressing. That's all I know, sorry.
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Re: Hello, friends!
Which part of "Please read the Holy Bible and don't come back until you did." did you not get?Originally posted by Blackhall View PostJesus died "temporarily"? I'm afraid I don't understand. Other than that, jesus sounds like a pretty cool guy. As for the bible, I think I heard a part of it somewhere. I think it was about this guy who made a bet with his neighbour that his kid would still love him even if he made his life depressing. That's all I know, sorry.5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Re: Hello, friends!
Like I said, it's because of the Olympics. They've banned the sale of all religious texts during the games. At least we're winning. Also from glancing at the website up there it seems kind of a dry read. Also, concentration is rather difficult for me at the moment. But I'd really appreciate if you guys could tell me the basics of what you believe. I'm here to learn!
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Re: Hello, friends!
As I already mentioned, there is also an audio version: http://www.audiotreasure.com/indexKJV.htmOriginally posted by Blackhall View PostLike I said, it's because of the Olympics. They've banned the sale of all religious texts during the games. At least we're winning. Also from glancing at the website up there it seems kind of a dry read. Also, concentration is rather difficult for me at the moment. But I'd really appreciate if you guys could tell me the basics of what you believe. I'm here to learn!
Now please stop wasting our time.5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Re: Hello, friends!
We're not here to spoonfeed you everything you want to know at your request. I suggest lurking around the forums and reading the stickies.Originally posted by Blackhall View PostBut I'd really appreciate if you guys could tell me the basics of what you believe. I'm here to learn!
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Re: Hello, friends!
We're not here to spoon feed you, heathen.Originally posted by Blackhall View PostLike I said, it's because of the Olympics. They've banned the sale of all religious texts during the games. At least we're winning. Also from glancing at the website up there it seems kind of a dry read. Also, concentration is rather difficult for me at the moment. But I'd really appreciate if you guys could tell me the basics of what you believe. I'm here to learn!
Take a look at THIS thread for beginners like you.


Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Re: Hello, friends!
Can do. So will I need saving? I like to think I'm a decent person, so maybe I can skip that part. Also, what are the 10 commandments? I think I remember parts about not stealing or murdering, and a part about loving everybody. Seems reasonable to me!
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Re: Hello, friends!
Being a "decent person" will not keep you out of hell, smartaleck.Originally posted by Blackhall View PostCan do. So will I need saving? I like to think I'm a decent person, so maybe I can skip that part. Also, what are the 10 commandments? I think I remember parts about not stealing or murdering, and a part about loving everybody. Seems reasonable to me!
And THIS is on the 10 Commandments.
Try using the "search" function. Sweet Jesus you eskimos are lazy.


Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Re: Hello, friends!
READ THE HOLY BIBLE !!!Originally posted by Blackhall View PostCan do. So will I need saving? I like to think I'm a decent person, so maybe I can skip that part. Also, what are the 10 commandments? I think I remember parts about not stealing or murdering, and a part about loving everybody. Seems reasonable to me!5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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