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  • Road to Damascus
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Dec 2007
    • 5

    #1

    Jesus kicked my ass....into TRUTH!!!!!

    (This is a copy of a message that I posted in "Straight 4 Jesus" and I was told that this was more proper.)

    No. I am not really the Devil, but there came a time where I used to look up to the Lord of Lies. I was lost. Constantly denying Christ because I was molested by Wiccans when I was little. After that experience, I became an Atheist and started buying Satan paraphernalia and watching Sex and the City. I went on this forum to try to convert Christians to Atheism. After getting a whipping from Pastor Billy-Reuben, I began to see something. It was called compassion. That people were trying to save me from hell by explaining the fine details of what happens there. It wasn't pretty but it was the truth. And the truth can hurt sometimes. A week ago, I gave my life to Christ after spending all night fighting the Devil out of my soul. Yes, I am still a filthy sinner but filthy sinners have to start somewhere. And that somewhere is where the True Christians hang out at. The place that showed me the truth unlike the genuine churches that only to tried to candy coat the Truth. Landover Baptist Church is the place and I want to help convert godless heathens to Christ. Now is the time to start paying off my debts against God.

    But first, I must get rid of everything that reminds me of my old life. I need to change my username to something more Godly if I can and find a way to erase my current signature and put a Bible verse in it's place. I hope my fellow Christians(if I'm worthy enough to say that yet) will help me in dumping the bad and bringing in the GREATNESS!

    Thank you all for reading and thank you Pastor Billy-Reuben for telling it to me straight. And, most importantly of all, thank you Jesus for kicking my ass to TRUTH!

    PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!
    Revelation 20:14-15
    And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.
  • Cranky Old Man
    Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
    You kids get off his lawn!
     
    • Jan 2010
    • 22380

    #2
    Re: Jesus kicked my ass....into TRUTH!!!!!

    Welcome to our friendly forum!
    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

    Comment

    • Levi Jones
      Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
      Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
      Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
       
      • Jul 2009
      • 13930

      #3
      Re: Jesus kicked my ass....into TRUTH!!!!!

      Praise Jesus! He is working all kinds of miracles here today!

      Welcome back!
      Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

      Comment

      • Road to Damascus
        Unsaved trash
        Under Investigation
        • Dec 2007
        • 5

        #4
        Re: Jesus kicked my ass....into TRUTH!!!!!

        Thank you for your kind words! A million showers wouldn't be able to get the filth off my soul. Jesus is the only one that can wash off my filth! And since everyone here are slaves to Christ, your qualified by association! Yay!

        Anyway, I'm off to the Rules and Announcements to get help washing the filth off myself.

        PRAISE THE LORD!
        Revelation 20:14-15
        And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

        Comment

        • Cranky Old Man
          Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
          You kids get off his lawn!
           
          • Jan 2010
          • 22380

          #5
          Re: Jesus kicked my ass....into TRUTH!!!!!

          Originally posted by The_Devil View Post
          Anyway, I'm off to the Rules and Announcements to get help washing the filth off myself.
          Don't forget to spend a lot of time on the KJV1611 Holy Bible!
          5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
          To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
          James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

          Comment

          • Gargamel
            Confirmed Enemy of God
            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
            • May 2010
            • 11

            #6
            Re: Jesus kicked my ass....into TRUTH!!!!!

            Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
            Welcome to our friendly forum!
            Yes where everyone is nice towards everyone... expect towards the men of no faith.... and jews.... and Muslims..... and Iceland, Australia, Blacks, Mexicans, Romans, Italians, gay people oh ho ho especially the gays, Satanists, whores, Indians, anyone not from ***AMERICA*** and 99% of all the people who appear on tv.
            Remember boys and girls
            God loves everyone

            Comment

            • Rev. Jim Osborne
              True Christian™ Televangelist
              Director of Fundraising and Tithing
              On the Look Out for Wife #6!
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2009
              • 8622

              #7
              Re: Jesus kicked my ass....into TRUTH!!!!!

              Originally posted by Gargamel View Post
              Remember boys and girls
              God loves everyone
              Do you have Scripture to support this?

              Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

              Comment

              • Dirk
                True Christian™
                • Apr 2010
                • 1425

                #8
                Re: Jesus kicked my ass....into TRUTH!!!!!

                Originally posted by Gargamel View Post
                Yes where everyone is nice towards everyone... expect towards the men of no faith.... and jews.... and Muslims..... and Iceland, Australia, Blacks, Mexicans, Romans, Italians, gay people oh ho ho especially the gays, Satanists, whores, Indians, anyone not from ***AMERICA*** and 99% of all the people who appear on tv.
                Remember boys and girls
                God loves everyone
                Are you sure about that?

                Comment

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