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  • Secret
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • May 2010
    • 18
    #1

    Greetings.

    Ladies, Gentlemen of Landover.

    I have come to be amused.
    My mind will act as a mirror, Holistic when holistic comments are within eyeshot, likewise with closed and opened comments.

    I see several of you have a saying that goes along the lines of "some people's minds are so open that their brains fall out"

    In contrast some people's minds are so closed nothing new goes in, and other wonder if anything went in in the first place.
    Tags: None
    • Cranky Old Man
      Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
      You kids get off his lawn!
       
      • Jan 2010
      • 22373
      #2
      Re: Greetings.

      Welcome to our friendly forum!

      What made you think God's favorite forum is here to amuse you?
      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556
          #3
          Re: Greetings.

          Is that how your parents raised you? To waltz univited into a Christian forum and make smart-alecky comments?

          Please show some maturity. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you found Jesus.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • Phebe Carlyle
              GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler
              Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
              True Christian™
              • May 2010
              • 2604
              #4
              Re: Greetings.

              Originally posted by Secret View Post
              Ladies, Gentlemen of Landover.

              I have come to be amused.
              My mind will act as a mirror, Holistic when holistic comments are within eyeshot, likewise with closed and opened comments.

              I see several of you have a saying that goes along the lines of "some people's minds are so open that their brains fall out"

              In contrast some people's minds are so closed nothing new goes in, and other wonder if anything went in in the first place.
              Gee Mr or Miss Secret,

              You make what perhaps you presume is an introduction thread, where in fact you have not introduced yourself at all.

              How about you start getting with the program and filling in the blanks.

              Are you male or female?

              What is your real name?

              What is the name of your Church?

              Are you familiar with the KJV1611; as in, having read it from cover to cover?

              Your favorite Bible verse?

              I have noticed that you have decided to make yourself quite at home here without the basics of common courtesy even entering your mind.

              I do hope that in your day to day antics you just don't rush into someones home uninvited and decide to make it your own.

              Let me tell you something. Until you do introduce yourself properly, don't expect any refreshments.

              YIC,

              Mrs.P.Wintersnow.




              There's Jesus here,
              Just see what He offers me....
              Down here my sins forgiven,
              Up there a home in heaven
              Praise God, That's the way for me!!

                Comment

                • Brother Snapper Grogan
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • May 2010
                  • 608
                  #5
                  Re: Greetings.

                  Hello, Secret.

                  Send us an SMS from Hell and tell us what it feels like to be penetrated for all aeternity by Satan's red-hot barbed tallywhacker.
                  What's your operating system? Windows ? OS X ? Mine's JesOS!

                    Comment

                    • Cranky Old Man
                      Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                      You kids get off his lawn!
                       
                      • Jan 2010
                      • 22373
                      #6
                      Re: Greetings.

                      Originally posted by Brother Snapper Grogan View Post
                      Send us an SMS from Hell and tell us what it feels like to be penetrated for all aeternity by Satan's red-hot barbed tallywhacker.
                      I didn't know they had reception in hell, although I suppose it makes sense AT&T is operating there. Does anyone know the mobile number of Michael Jackson?

                      "Secret", are you amused yet?
                      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                        Comment

                        • Lisa H
                          Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
                          True Christian™
                          • Jun 2010
                          • 5070
                          #7
                          Re: Greetings.

                          At least you want have to wait long for your spaghetti to be cooked in hell.
                          Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
                          Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
                          Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
                          Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
                          Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
                          Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

                            Comment

                            • Warner S. Davidson
                              True Christian™
                              True Christian™
                              • Jun 2010
                              • 586
                              #8
                              Re: Greetings.

                              There seems to be an avalanche of mocking athiest scum besieging us here latley

                              Perhaps Mr / Mrs "Secret" would like be the special Guest of Honour at this years Stonefest™
                              2 Samuel 22:31

                              As for God, His way is perfect;
                              The word of the LORD is proven;
                              He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

                                Comment

                                • Phebe Carlyle
                                  GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler
                                  Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
                                  True Christian™
                                  • May 2010
                                  • 2604
                                  #9
                                  Re: Greetings.

                                  Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                                  I didn't know they had reception in hell, although I suppose it makes sense AT&T is operating there. Does anyone know the mobile number of Michael Jackson?

                                  "Secret", are you amused yet?
                                  Yes I heard it is 733674453 and now coincidental that it spells out pedophile!

                                  YIC,

                                  Mrs.P.Wintersnow




                                  There's Jesus here,
                                  Just see what He offers me....
                                  Down here my sins forgiven,
                                  Up there a home in heaven
                                  Praise God, That's the way for me!!

                                    Comment

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