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Hey, I'm Mitch. I found this site after Jesus sent me an email and told me it was a great place to go visit. So here I am. Hi.
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Re: Hi there!
Welcome, Mitch, to god's favorite forum. Please share some details about yourself. Which denomination are you? Your favorite Bible verses? Are you a family man? How did Jesus enter your life?Originally posted by FrOzeN View Post
We'd love to know more about you.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!! -
Re: Hi there!
I'm a Pastafarian.Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Matthew 27:35 "And they crucified him, and parted his garments, casting lots: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophey, They parted my garments among them, and upon my vesture did they cast lots."Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Not for a while, I just turned 18.Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
He's my neighbour.Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View PostComment
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Re: Hi there!
You have been given Infraction points for telling lies about our Lord and Saviour.
Please show some respect for HIM
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Re: Hi there!
So in short: you're a hellbound loser, and a mocker of God.Originally posted by FrOzeN View Post
Enjoy Hell!If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13Comment
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Re: Hi there!
Is it true friend that Pastafarians are just want to be Christians' who don't have the balls to accept Christ?Originally posted by FrOzeN View Post
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: Hi there!
Oh they got the meatballs, don't know about those other kind of balls, Bobby Joe!Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...Comment
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Re: Hi there!
It sounds like then maybe these Pastafarians are compensating for something.Originally posted by Sister Noddy View PostOh they got the meatballs, don't know about those other kind of balls, Bobby Joe!
What do you say FrOzeN? Remember Jesus sees you touching that noddle.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: Hi there!
Originally posted by Sister Noddy View PostOh they got the meatballs, don't know about those other kind of balls, Bobby Joe!
That was a good one.
By the way, when did your name change from Minister Noddy to Sister Noddy? I apparently missed the change while I was gone.Every angel has a shadowComment
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Re: Hi there!
When she renounced SATAN and all his works, including the Anglican't "church".Originally posted by Amara View Post That was a good one.
By the way, when did your name change from Minister Noddy to Sister Noddy? I apparently missed the change while I was gone.O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
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God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.Comment
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Re: Hi there!
Yes Sister Noddy; witness to this sinner the wickedness of the Anglican church is and it false perversion of God 's word.Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Do you know what Sister Noddy told me that those filthily Anglican's will do; they allow street people into their church! Not to pick of the trash or work in a sweat shop in the basement like a Good Christian would but they allow these bums to attended church service!
That right, right; homeless poor people mixing with church goers. That is like Sister Betty Bowers having to share a room, much less a pew, with anyone who makes less that six figures a year! I have never heard of such blatant hatred of Jesus before in my life.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: Hi there!
I'm going to answer Amara here ...Originally posted by Amara View Post
That was a good one.
By the way, when did your name change from Minister Noddy to Sister Noddy? I apparently missed the change while I was gone.
Yes, my name was changed after I converted to the one TRUE faith and became a True Christian™ ...
It was all of a sudden, like a lightning bolt from the blue! One of the GODLY pastors here called on Satan to leave the brain of noddy, and immediately the old noddy was swept away and her mind emptied of evil just like that!
... and previous thoughts and ideas noddy thought were true, had been of the devil all along, but she had been unsuspecting and unaware, she had been sliding down the slippery slope to hell without knowing!
To think that I had been a false-minister in the fancy-shmancy false-church the world knows as episcopal-angli-can't, with its blasphemous homer goings-on and its shameful perversions of the HOLY WORD of GOD!
Because you see, they think they believe in God, but they don't even believe the Bible ...
What they really believe is worshipping the cere-sin-eal itself up there at the altar, with all that cathy-lickin mumbo-jumbo, and it is so bling-bling that nobody even notices that what they are celebrating is a false scripture and an unrecognizable doctrine ...
And yes, I have told our Godly Brother Bobby Joe of the tradition of my former parish to invite homeless street people into the sanctuary, and who are even allowed to partake of the communion bread and wine (once the mumbo-jumbo is pronounced over it)
Would you like to hear more? Shocking but true! During the wintertime, this parish even allows the homeless to camp out in the church auditorium on freezing nights! Boy you should see the mess these pathetic excuses for people leave behind when the clergy kicks em out in the mornings!
And how about that monthly hot-meals-for-the-homeless the parish still insists on serving to half the burnout neighbourhood? ... and for FREE! (not to mention the homers they let in, but that's another story altogether!)
You see? a real church isn't an ornamented building, and real pastors aren't sweepingly elegant clergy in beautiful dresses ...
... no, a real church isn't a building, it is the belief in JESUS that counts!Luke 7:25
But what went ye out for to see? A man clothed in soft raiment? Behold, they which are gorgeously apparelled, and live delicately, are in kings' courts.
Well I walked out of there and never looked back, and now I am Sister Noddy, and happy with it!
Praise!
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...Comment
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