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  • The FishSapples
    Unsaved Trash, lying Danish joos
    • Jun 2010
    • 7

    #1

    The Fishapples present themselves

    I was kindly asked by Levi Jones to introduce us (my husband and I). Well, we are The Fishapples, Mary and Joseph. We are pastors in the church "Sought out, a city not forsaken" in Iraan, Texas. Where we have devoted our work to marriage. And there are so many wonderful scriptures about marriage, which my father introduced me to, when I was a mere child. My father always took very good care of me and he brought me up to be a good and caring wife. He tought me all the relevant sides of marriage, and he was very meticulous to teach me all the aspects, which I am ever thankful for today, since I can give my husband all what I have learned from him.

    At first my husband didn't want to marry me . He said that the Scriptures recommend a Christian not marry at all if he can avoid it. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:1 "...it is good for a man not to touch a woman...," that is, touch her in the marriage sense. He goes on to say in verse seven, "For I would that all men were even as myself (single).

    Then I said, the Bible makes an allowance for them and says in 1 Corinthians 7:9, "But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn." The Bible is very practical ; it knows some Christians would be greatly burdened and unduly tempted to sin if they couldn't marry. Verse 2 says, "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife...." So before we even get into what constitutes the act of marriage, we need to realize that the first will of God in this matter is a believer stay single, but if he can't bear it, it is perfectly proper and even "honorable" (Heb. 13:4) to marry, "But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned" (1 Cor. 7:28).

    Then he touched me, and we became man and wife. God bless. And what a bliss, my husband was so much better at teaching than my father.

    Most people in America when they think of a man and woman getting married envision a ceremony where the two people stand before a pastor, make vows to each other (and sometimes to God), exchange rings, the man kisses the bride, and then the pastor pronounces them husband and wife. After this they are considered married—the ceremony being the act. But what does the Bible say is the act? It is understandable why most Americans think the ceremony or vow is the act of marriage because American culture and law leads them to that conclusion. But a ceremony or vow is not the act of marriage in the Bible. In fact, in the Bible one can be married apart from any ceremony, vows, pastors, rings, ritual, commitment, or even love. The Scriptures are clear: the act of marriage is solely a physical act.

    That the essence and act of marriage is the physical union of the two parties should be an indisputable fact to any believer who believes the Scriptures as they stand. The matter is so clearly presented in the Bible that one would have to be highly prejudiced and biased against it not to see it.

    I hope very much, that Levi Jones can be my special friend.

    I was very catched by Brother Cranky when he wrote about the Denmarkians. I have travelled to this unholy place. All the girls are whores with their blond hair, their long legs, short skirts and high heels and they don't wear bras. They swagger up and down the cities long pedestrian streets just to sell themselves, so they can buy a busticket home.
    Genesis 37:4 And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.

    Psalms 25:19 Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: The Fishapples present themselves

    Welcome to God's favorite forum, ma'am. Please tell us about your husband. What does he do for a living? What church does he take you to? What are your favorite Scriptures?

    What's your best pie? I guess down in your neck of the woods it must be something like armadillo.

    You aren't joos are you?
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • SUV
      True Christian™ Princess
      The Driving Force behind RA12
      Have at it, anytime!
      • Sep 2006
      • 11027

      #3
      Re: The Fishapples present themselves

      Is it "FishApples" or "FishSapples" - ?

      God Damn it all; I am so confused

      Comment

      • Cranky Old Man
        Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
        You kids get off his lawn!
         
        • Jan 2010
        • 22380

        #4
        Re: The Fishapples present themselves

        Welcome to our friendly forum!

        Originally posted by The FishSapples View Post
        I was very catched by Brother Cranky when he wrote about the Denmarkians.
        I am glad to hear that.
        5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
        To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
        James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

        Comment

        • Benedict A. Davis
          Winning Souls in his Winnebago
          True Christian™
          • May 2010
          • 3900

          #5
          Re: The Fishapples present themselves

          As I understand it you two have married as it is said in the Bible. Have you fulfilled the Secular necessities or do you not recognize those laws?

          I bet an evening with you two, in a rapid fire game of ''As it is said in the Bible'', would be a night to remember.
          sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
          Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
          Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
          Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

          Comment

          • The FishSapples
            Unsaved Trash, lying Danish joos
            • Jun 2010
            • 7

            #6
            Re: The Fishapples present themselves

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Welcome to God's favorite forum, ma'am. Please tell us about your husband. What does he do for a living? What church does he take you to? What are your favorite Scriptures?

            What's your best pie? I guess down in your neck of the woods it must be something like armadillo.

            You aren't joos are you?
            Don't get me angry Ezekiel, all your questions are answered in good order in my presentation. But perhaps you need to get it told twice to understand?

            Oooh - and then you ask me about pies. I hate pies. Pies are the devils cooking and not food for good God loving/trusting americans. I eat a lot of good american food as french frieds, Boeuf bourguignon, broccoli, Easter eggs and mushrooms.

            How dare you suggest I'm a joo. I'm quite disappointed in you, pastor! You can't understand what I'm writing, you take up cooking as a God giving thing, and you think I'm a joo.

            This make me think of a good Scripture: (Mark 15:13) And they cried out again, Crucify him.
            Genesis 37:4 And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.

            Psalms 25:19 Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.

            Comment

            • Cranky Old Man
              Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
              You kids get off his lawn!
               
              • Jan 2010
              • 22380

              #7
              Re: The Fishapples present themselves

              Originally posted by The FishSapples View Post
              Don't get me angry Ezekiel
              Because otherwise you will turn green and start smashing things?
              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

              Comment

              • SUV
                True Christian™ Princess
                The Driving Force behind RA12
                Have at it, anytime!
                • Sep 2006
                • 11027

                #8
                Re: The Fishapples present themselves

                Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                Because otherwise you will turn green and start smashing things?
                "Please, don't make me Angry! You won't like me when I'm Angry!"

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78556

                  #9
                  Re: The Fishapples present themselves

                  Originally posted by The FishSapples View Post
                  Don't get me angry Ezekiel, all your questions are answered in good order in my presentation. But perhaps you need to get it told twice to understand?

                  Oooh - and then you ask me about pies. I hate pies. Pies are the devils cooking and not food for good God loving/trusting americans. I eat a lot of good american food as french frieds, Boeuf bourguignon, broccoli, Easter eggs and mushrooms.

                  How dare you suggest I'm a joo. I'm quite disappointed in you, pastor! You can't understand what I'm writing, you take up cooking as a God giving thing, and you think I'm a joo.

                  This make me think of a good Scripture: (Mark 15:13) And they cried out again, Crucify him.
                  I have a better Scripture, and I can summarize it for you in 5 words:

                  Keep your yap shut woman!

                  1 Corinthians 11:3
                  But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
                  I'll bet your husband beats you every day.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • Phebe Carlyle
                    GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler
                    Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
                    True Christian™
                    • May 2010
                    • 2604

                    #10
                    Re: The Fishapples present themselves

                    Originally posted by The FishSapples View Post
                    Don't get me angry Ezekiel, all your questions are answered in good order in my presentation. But perhaps you need to get it told twice to understand?
                    Mrs Fishapple, Do you speak to your husband in that fashion? I surely think he may well spend A LOT of time away on weekend hunting retreats.

                    Proverbs 21:19

                    "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman"

                    Please remember, Pastor Ezekiel is a Pastor at THIS church and you are to treat him and speak to and of him, with the utmost respect.

                    Oooh - and then you ask me about pies. I hate pies. Pies are the devils cooking and not food for good God loving/trusting americans. I eat a lot of good american food as french frieds, Boeuf bourguignon, broccoli, Easter eggs and mushrooms.
                    ^---

                    Please cite scripture stating pies are the work of satan! You will have a hard time doing so!

                    The fact that all good pies are made from unleavened pastry dough, makes them fine; nay, imperative eating in the eyes of God!

                    1 Corinthians 5:7-8

                    Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our Passover is sacrificed for us: Therefore let us keep the Feast, not with old leaven, neither with the leaven of malice and wickedness; but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and Truth."

                    YIC,

                    Mrs.P.Wintersnow




                    There's Jesus here,
                    Just see what He offers me....
                    Down here my sins forgiven,
                    Up there a home in heaven
                    Praise God, That's the way for me!!

                    Comment

                    • The FishSapples
                      Unsaved Trash, lying Danish joos
                      • Jun 2010
                      • 7

                      #11
                      Re: The Fishapples present themselves

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      I have a better Scripture, and I can summarize it for you in 5 words:

                      Keep your yap shut woman!



                      I'll bet your husband beats you every day.
                      Now - what is this, I ask? My wife commeth running to me and tell me about a wicked pastor. Then I ask again: Who are you, Sir, commeth between my wife and I? And I read the Forum and what a mess.

                      Luke 6:22 Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.

                      And you are wicked too suggesting a beating taking place every day in my wife's bare bottom.

                      Psalms 7:11 God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day.

                      Don't EVER talk to my wife in that manner!!!

                      Dear Ms WinterSommer, I strongly agree with you about pies. I love pies and I know of course, that pies are Godly food. But I am not a hunter. Unfortunately. I'm a sailor. My refuge is my ark, The Ark Fishapple.

                      Kings 9:27 And Hiram sent in the navy his servants, shipmen that had knowledge of the sea, with the servants of Solomon.


                      It is extremely important to be a sailor. Will you accompany me? When the flood comes, we could sail over the Denmarkian lands and have a look at the drowned contry and their sturdy inhabitants.

                      Genesis 6:13 And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.


                      Genesis 6:14 Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.


                      Genesis 6:16 A widow shalt thou take to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish her;


                      And "Pastor" Ezekiel:

                      Jeremiah 22:22 The wind shall eat up all thy pastors, and thy lovers shall go into captivity: surely then shalt thou be ashamed and confounded for all thy wickedness.
                      Genesis 37:4 And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.

                      Psalms 25:19 Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.

                      Comment

                      • Phebe Carlyle
                        GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler
                        Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
                        True Christian™
                        • May 2010
                        • 2604

                        #12
                        Re: The Fishapples present themselves

                        Mr Applefish,

                        Well, wilderness is also heading out to sea without an horizon in sight. With her lip I doubt you would want to spend any time at all with her, and considering she doesn't make pies adds insult to injury.

                        As you profess to be a sailor, then perhaps the BASH program may be of help to you. Locked up with all those hot sweaty men, there is huge possibility of being lured into Homer activity, if that has not already come to fruition.

                        Again I do advise that you, nor your wife address Pastor Ezekiel in such a tawdry manner and also, perhaps you should actually check your wife's introduction prior to posting Jeremiah.

                        It seems that in her case, loose lips most certainly sink ships.

                        YIC,

                        Mrs.P.Wintersnow




                        There's Jesus here,
                        Just see what He offers me....
                        Down here my sins forgiven,
                        Up there a home in heaven
                        Praise God, That's the way for me!!

                        Comment

                        • Sister Charli
                          True Christian™
                          True Christian™
                          • Jun 2010
                          • 1590

                          #13
                          Re: The Fishapples present themselves

                          Originally posted by The FishSapples View Post
                          I eat a lot of good american food as french frieds, Boeuf bourguignon, broccoli, Easter eggs and mushrooms.
                          French fries. French beef burgundy. You call this good A(note capital A)merican food?

                          What are you? A frog lover????
                          2 Chronicles 7:14
                          14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.

                          Comment

                          • The FishSapples
                            Unsaved Trash, lying Danish joos
                            • Jun 2010
                            • 7

                            #14
                            Re: The Fishapples present themselves

                            Originally posted by Charli Harley View Post
                            French fries. French beef burgundy. You call this good A(note capital A)merican food?

                            What are you? A frog lover????
                            How long did you stand in your garage before you became Christian?
                            Genesis 37:4 And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.

                            Psalms 25:19 Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.

                            Comment

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