[Flower Petals]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

An introduction traditionally includes name, gender, location, and interests. In addition, we'd like to hear about your church and your personal relationship with Jesus.

My name is Ashley, I'm a girl, and I life in northern California. I love gardening and spending time outside. As I said earlier, I've never been allowed to attend church so I've never been able to have a relationship with Jesus, but I would love any help you can give me to develop one.

[Flower Petals]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

Oops, I live in northern California. Sorry about the typo.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

My name is Ashley, I'm a girl, and I life in northern California. I love gardening and spending time outside. As I said earlier, I've never been allowed to attend church so I've never been able to have a relationship with Jesus, but I would love any help you can give me to develop one.

Hello Ashley and welcome!

Do you have any photographs of yourself? Of course, they should be modest.

All of the Pastors here (guided by the Holy Spirit) have a keen eye in evaluating just what it will take to get you saved and with Jesus! It could be as simple as a few precious quotes from scripture or it could take intense one-on-one devotional sessions in a private setting to ensure the demons are kept at bay.

And please confess ALL your sins. You are among friends!

Yours in Christ!

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

My name is Ashley, I'm a girl, and I life in northern California. I love gardening and spending time outside. As I said earlier, I've never been allowed to attend church so I've never been able to have a relationship with Jesus, but I would love any help you can give me to develop one.

I believe I asked you before, why did your father deny you the church while growing up? Did he molest you as well?

[Jo Freddie]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

Look, Joey, Hell is real, and you are going there. However you try to justify it, your homosexuality is sinful in God's eyes. Pull your finger out of your anus and get yourself together!

Yet again you bring it back to a persons sexuality, I wonder why that is?

Could this explain it I wonder

The Good Lord tells us that what consenting adults do is no one else's business.

The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn't's"

4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is "go f*** yourself," unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

Followed by this piece of advice

8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

Back to the subject of Hell

Muellers I
a letter to the Macaronians

48 The Flying Spaghetti Monster who is Our Lord did not create us that we might simply then be condemned for failing to believe in Him.
49 What kind of crazy scheme is that;
50 to bestow his Creatures with life, then to throw that life he bestowed into eternal torment?
51 That is the way of evil deities, not good ones.
52 Our One Who Flies and is Saucy understands that life among beings with free will, on a planet with natural systems that cause tumult, and Scientifically Intelligently Designed by a deity who is prankish and can be peevish, should not end in eternal misery.
53 That‟s insane.
54 What kind of fool would believe such a being worthy of worship?

An Announcement Regarding the Afterlife

22 Not a real burning-in type hell, no boiling lakes of fire, just an appropriate 'reward'.
23 No more lunatics and sadists, please.
24 The current administration's quite enough.
25 Other people have other ideas, but then again other people are promoting Holy War, too.
26 Don't do that in the name of our FSM.
27 That's not the Way to Do Things Right.

[NoPancakeMix]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

Hello, fellow forum members. I'm new here, as you may have guessed, and I'm so happy and relieved that I found this site! My father prevented me from going to church growing up, and I've felt so lost and alone my whole life. I don't know very much about your church, but I would love so much to learn about it. Please help me, so I can stop being a sinner.

Hello Ashley! You and I are very alike. I, too, have lived all my life without the presence of God and Jesus and have been walking a path of sin until I found this forum. Now I hope on becoming a good Christian. However, my father never imposed me any beliefs, I am free to go to church if I want. The Bible says that you, as a woman, are bound to do as your father says. Although this might seem a contradiction, you are only doing the will of the Lord by assuming your role as a woman. If your father does not with you to go to church, then you shouldn't go

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

Hello Ashley! You and I are very alike. I, too, have lived all my life without the presence of God and Jesus and have been walking a path of sin until I found this forum. Now I hope on becoming a good Christian. However, my father never imposed me any beliefs, I am free to go to church if I want. The Bible says that you, as a woman, are bound to do as your father says. Although this might seem a contradiction, you are only doing the will of the Lord by assuming your role as a woman. If your father does not with you to go to church, then you shouldn't go

close but no cigar child. If her father does not want her attending church then he is not a True Christian and you should go anyway.

Matthew 8:21 And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
Matthew 8:22 But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.
Matthew 10:14 And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.

Matthew 12:47 Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee.
Matthew 12:48 But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?
Matthew 12:49 And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!
Matthew 12:50 For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.

[True Disciple]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

Jesus didn't want to be blindly followed by the sheeple ( People who act like sheeps, following a leader)

You might want to look at Jesus' own words, friend:

Luke 15:3-7:
And he spake this parable unto them, saying,
What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.
And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.
I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.

Jesus compares people with sheep here. Please stop lying about Scripture.

My name is Ashley, I'm a girl, and I life in northern California. I love gardening and spending time outside. As I said earlier, I've never been allowed to attend church so I've never been able to have a relationship with Jesus, but I would love any help you can give me to develop one.

Hello and welcome, Ashley.

It is wonderful that you desire to have a relationship with Jesus.

I think the first thing a young lady like you should do is to look out for a True Christian(tm) Husband, for example on our own Christian Singles Forum.

Secondly, you should spend less time outside and more time in your home cleaning and doing dishes and practicing all other womanly duties. That will prepare you for a life as a True Christian(tm) Housewife.

Thirdly, you should forsake your parents:

2 Corinthians 6:14-17:
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.

And hate them:

Luke 14:26:
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

It's great to have you here!

[NoPancakeMix]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

And hate them:

Luke 14:26:
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

I am sorry, but that clearly refers to a man. She is a woman. Besides, that quote does not say that the father, mother, children, etc. are haters of the Lord. Then how is it that God wants us to respect our husbands and fathers and hate them at the same time?

[True Disciple]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

I am sorry, but that clearly refers to a man. She is a woman.

Good point. I will look this up in Scripture.

Besides, that quote does not say that the father, mother, children, etc. are haters of the Lord. Then how is it that God wants us to respect our husbands and fathers and hate them at the same time?

Of course you can respect them and hate them at the same time. God commands us to do that, and everything is possible with God:

Luke 18:27:
And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

[NoPancakeMix]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

Of course you can respect them and hate them at the same time. God commands us to do that, and everything is possible with God:

Luke 18:27:
And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

It may be true that you can respect and hate at the same time. However, there is something I don't fully understand on that quote: if something is not possible with men but only with God, then how is one supposed to accomplish it? Or does 'with God' mean 'with the presence of God in the spirit of men'? Please, clarify.

[Sister Charli]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

Jesus didn't want to be blindly followed by the sheeple ( People who act like sheeps, following a leader)

Joey,
I think you are talking about a different Jesus. The Lord Jesus Christ, son of God is a shepherd. Of course he wants his flock to follow him.

Psalm 23
1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

[Sister Charli]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

Hello, fellow forum members. I'm new here, as you may have guessed, and I'm so happy and relieved that I found this site! My father prevented me from going to church growing up, and I've felt so lost and alone my whole life. I don't know very much about your church, but I would love so much to learn about it. Please help me, so I can stop being a sinner.

And welcome Flower Petals.

You have come to the right place to learn.

The only True Christian ™ forum on the whole internet.

Have you bought yourself a KJV1611 bible yet?

You can not be a True Christian ™ without one.

[True Disciple]

Re: I'm new and in need of help!

It may be true that you can respect and hate at the same time. However, there is something I don't fully understand on that quote: if something is not possible with men but only with God, then how is one supposed to accomplish it? Or does 'with God' mean 'with the presence of God in the spirit of men'? Please, clarify.

Doing things "with God" means doing things while living with God (which means being a True Christian™), and nothing is impossible then:

Matthew 21:21-22:
Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.
And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

So to conclude, things which are impossible with men, including logical "impossibilities" like loving and hating someone at the same time, are possible with God.