Grateful Brother

[jakebarlow]

Hi! My name is Jake Barlow, i am a true christian and so is my family. I started my religious way of life when i was 9 years old, i saw a cross appear on my chest from sun light. I go to Iowa Conference Of The United Church Of Christ. I just want to thank you for giving me an opportunity to become a member of your divine community.
Thank you for reading, your's Jake.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Grateful Brother

Ahoy there to help you gain a better understanding of The One True God please read these topics:
The Holy Noodle
A Condensed History of the World
The Most High and Holy Prayer
Edd's Letters

[Nobar King]

Re: Grateful Brother

Welcome, Jake, I'm not Jake, I'm Nobar.

Edit-- don't listen to the noodle.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Grateful Brother

Welcome, Jake, I'm not Jake, I'm Nobar.

Edit-- don't listen to the noodle.

What's up Nobar? Scared that if he reads my words he will discover the TRUTH and reject your imaginary friend?

[Lisa H]

Re: Grateful Brother

What is your favorite King James Bible verse?
Is the church you are going to a Baptist church?
How long have you been attending?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Grateful Brother

Is the church you are going to a Baptist church?

He wrote the United Chruch of Christ. That's how you spell liberal.

They welcome homers.

[Lisa H]

Re: Grateful Brother

So you are homer then Jake.

[Sister Charli]

Re: Grateful Brother

G'day Jake.

I am sorry to read that you are a homersexual.

But there is help at hand young man.

You can pray your gay away!

[Lisa H]

Re: Grateful Brother

G'day Jake.

I am sorry to read that you are a homersexual.

But there is help at hand young man.

You can pray your gay away!

Sister Charli you must be doing well with your new line of badges.

[Sister Charli]

Re: Grateful Brother

Sister Charli you must be doing well with your new line of badges.

Haven't done so good in selling any. Might need to look for a sponsor soon so that I can keep on making them. But the good news is that I have given so many away to homerfolk that need a mantra to live by.

Praise Jesus!

[Lisa H]

Re: Grateful Brother

Haven't done so good in selling any. Might need to look for a sponsor soon so that I can keep on making them. But the good news is that I have given so many away to homerfolk that need a mantra to live by.

Praise Jesus!

Hopefully once they have converted, they will make donations for all the good work you are doing.

[Sister Charli]

Re: Grateful Brother

Hopefully once they have converted, they will make donations for all the good work you are doing.

I am not too worried.

God will provide.

Matthew 6:28-30 (King James Version)
28And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
29And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

[jakebarlow]

Re: Grateful Brother

You are deeply mistaken about my sexuality, sure i had my doubts when i was a youngster but for the last 40 or so years i've been stickin' it in the right place.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Grateful Brother

You are deeply mistaken about my sexuality, sure i had my doubts when i was a youngster but for the last 40 or so years i've been stickin' it in the right place.

..

Hold on there Buttercup, you had doubts? Explain that away!

[His Final Harvest]

Re: Grateful Brother

You are deeply mistaken about my sexuality, sure i had my doubts when i was a youngster but for the last 40 or so years i've been stickin' it in the right place.

I knew something was up when you said you'd been saved at 9. Why didn't your parents take you to church sooner, Mary?