My epic tale, now in chronological order

[_The Earthling_]

I'm sorry, my introduction seems to have just caused confusion. Here it is in proper order:

uiewq809f409jwg-jm-n 538y9t589vfu8 f4nrg8094tuvfu5 huhgv 8954tu8tvu85v 542809nm5853492n0g

To be continued...

(At this point I meet my present-day (well, recent-past) self, and he/I basically say what I said here. Do you mind if I repeat myself?)

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: My epic tale, now in chronological order

Boy, are you on drugs?

[Nobar King]

Re: My epic tale, now in chronological order

That's obvious. Boy, Jesus can help you get off the drugs. It's good that you have joined this website. Let the holy spirit of The Lord enter you and you might find salvation here.

[_The Earthling_]

Re: My epic tale, now in chronological order


Anyway, seeing as part of the profits from my autobiography (I'm already in film talks with David Lynch and the guy who did Speed Racer) will be donated to the One True Church, maybe y'all should start constructing some constructive criticism that's a little more constructive.

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: My epic tale, now in chronological order

O
Anyway, seeing as part of the profits from my autobiography (I'm already in film talks with David Lynch and the guy who did Speed Racer) will be donated to the One True Church, maybe y'all should start constructing some constructive criticism that's a little more constructive.

Liar. Not even that cross dressing heathen Ed Wood would have touched your material.
Read the Bible and get your head out of...wherever it's at.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My epic tale, now in chronological order

This is a Christian forum, not the crazy whacko teenaged fool forum.

Time to quiet the voices in your head and let Jesus into your heart.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: My epic tale, now in chronological order

Your welcome is wearing out. Time for another donation, friend. You know my number.

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: My epic tale, now in chronological order

I'm sorry, my introduction seems to have just caused confusion - I got a bit excited.

That's nice, dear. Please know that we are here for you, and are giving you our undivided attention. Perhaps you have happened upon people who find you to be somewhat intense ... ? Well, we Christians are not afraid of you at all! We know that you are NOT responsible for your babbling, nor your tardive dyskinesia: you are being puppeteered by a demon or two, or perhaps five, and it is those demons we shall be ridding you of. Praise!

[_The Earthling_]

Re: My epic tale, now in chronological order

I'm already in film talks with David Lynch and the guy who did Speed Racer

Liar.

I know you are but what am I?

[Lisa H]

Re: My epic tale, now in chronological order

You story is very strange and you appear to have lost your way to believing in science fiction films. The Lord only asks you to leave your strangeness and believe in Him.

1 Timothy 4:7 But reject profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness.

[_The Earthling_]

Re: My epic tale, now in chronological order

...continued

ght9wtg8hng87g8nn98ner

To be continued...

[Brother Barnabus]

Re: My epic tale, now in chronological order

Attention Mr. Earthling !!!!!

A few questions for you:

1. What is telling you drug infested, teen aged, angst ridden self that a cadre of Bible thumpin', holy rollin', scripture quotin' souls ( such as ourselves) would even hallucinate giving a care about your sphincter tightening adventures in fast foodom????

2. Have you ever considered the possibility that Jesus Himself has guided you here so that we can try to save your immortal soul from being eternally char-broiled like the countless bovines that you serve to hungry humanity everyday?

3. Is there a chance that you could be persuaded to try to use your gifts of quirky, ironic observation to describe the God/Jesus experience to your pop culture obsessed, drug infested, short attention spanned peers?