Dearest Greetings!

[Ammand Renado Estalt]

Greetings to you all. I'd happily love to introduce myself as Captain Ammand Renado Estalt. I see here a grand group of God-fearing men and women with exceptional grammar (which is a rarity on the internet), and while I have read the rules and whatnot, I have not read introduction guidelines so I don't really know what else to say save for why I am here. I want to learn as much as I can about the Lord Jesus Christ, I wouldn't want to burn in hell over a misinformation, and I am as well a confessed sinner. I haven't a church yet as I just moved to my location, so any help would be appreciated. I found Jesus through my good aunt and uncle, as my father was killed in a dispute in the desert before I was born, sadly, and my mother was a wretched whore. My aunt and uncle lovingly raised me and beat me frequently (I was a sinful child). I do not know much else to say but hope to become a part of this community, as I sincerely wish to learn so that I may be saved and my children (who've yet to come into this world, I'm unmarried), may be raised properly in this God forsaken sinful world.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Dearest Greetings!

Dear Captain;

Welcome to God's favorite forum. Please tell us about yourself, your church and how you came to find Jesus. I'm guessing you're a damned foreigner, so let me just tell you up front: Post in American. It's God's favorite language.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Ammand Renado Estalt]

Re: Dearest Greetings!

Well forgive me for kindly introducing myself. I wasn't aware God personally funded this forum, does he have a job? No? Well I guess some mortals pay the bills don't they. I wasn't aware that I would be so rudely greeted by what I assumed were good people. I guess that makes me the ass. But then again, I have been known to be quite an ass. Everyone is a "foreigner" To someone you twit, and you are most certainly NOT my superior. God doesn't talk much nowadays, so I'm sure he hasn't informed you of the sort. And granted, since Jesus was not an American and neither was his native language American English, do tell me what makes America His favorite country? Did he tell you so himself? I rather doubt it. And tell the whore whom mocked me for speaking fluently to get back in the kitchen. You sad group of hypocrites can learn nothing of this world more than a dusty old tome.

You want logic? The Book says that God's word is law, and that he dictated said Book, so it is His word. The Book is the only hard evidence that says so, that His word is law. By that very logic, I am God, and I am God because I say so, and because I say so, than it is truth without contest. Do not believe me? Why not, I have provided just as much evidence as your Book does. Prove me wrong, cowards. Prove to me that there is more evidence that the Book is correct other than just because it says so.

Until then, I am God, and you cannot prove me wrong.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Dearest Greetings!

since Jesus was not an American

Are you from Gkzkyazkokyz? Of course Jesus was an American!

[Ammand Renado Estalt]

Re: Dearest Greetings!

You daft old fool, You are aware that Jerusalem is in the middle east, are you not? The so called "civilized" world at the time of His birth were not even aware of America's existence! There was nothing here save for filthy natives!

You tell me this instant where the word or name "America" is mentioned ANYWHERE in your old Book! Prove the son of God was an American! He was an Israelite!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Dearest Greetings!

Well forgive me for kindly introducing myself. I wasn't aware God personally funded this forum, does he have a job? No? Well I guess some mortals pay the bills don't they. I wasn't aware that I would be so rudely greeted by what I assumed were good people. I guess that makes me the ass. But then again, I have been known to be quite an ass. Everyone is a "foreigner" To someone you twit, and you are most certainly NOT my superior. God doesn't talk much nowadays, so I'm sure he hasn't informed you of the sort. And granted, since Jesus was not an American and neither was his native language American English, do tell me what makes America His favorite country? Did he tell you so himself? I rather doubt it. And tell the whore whom mocked me for speaking fluently to get back in the kitchen. You sad group of hypocrites can learn nothing of this world more than a dusty old tome.

You want logic? The Book says that God's word is law, and that he dictated said Book, so it is His word. The Book is the only hard evidence that says so, that His word is law. By that very logic, I am God, and I am God because I say so, and because I say so, than it is truth without contest. Do not believe me? Why not, I have provided just as much evidence as your Book does. Prove me wrong, cowards. Prove to me that there is more evidence that the Book is correct other than just because it says so.

Until then, I am God, and you cannot prove me wrong.

So then you came here to persecute us. You lied about being a Christian.

I for one, am shocked and hurt.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Dearest Greetings!

So 'Captain', you think you are God eh? You think you are smarter than the two smartest living humans on the face of the Earth, COM and the kind and gentle Pastor Ezekiel?

See everyone, this why teaching wetbacks American is a mistake. Once they get some education, they get all uppity, just like nigras.

Ammand, you are lucky the border you crossed illegally was not adjacent to my property. You know what we do to suspected horse thieves.

[Ammand Renado Estalt]

Re: Dearest Greetings!

So 'Captain', you think you are God eh? You think you are smarter than the two smartest living humans on the face of the Earth, COM and the kind and gentle Pastor Ezekiel?

See everyone, this why teaching wetbacks American is a mistake. Once they get some education, they get all uppity, just like nigras.

Ammand, you are lucky the border you crossed illegally was not adjacent to my property. You know what we do to suspected horse thieves.

If you think Ammand is a Mexican name you are sadly mistaken.

Whether or not I THINK I am God is not the issue here, nor is my level of intelligence as compared to other forum members NOR is my SUPPOSED nationality. The issue is, I AM God, and none of you can prove otherwise. Insulting and threatening me, and citing scriptures (which I would assume is quick to come) are in no way proof I am not God. And no one has yet to argue the point. Not that you could effectively anyway. Off your high horses heathens, the burden of proof is on you.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Dearest Greetings!

The issue is, I AM God

You need help. Get it! Preferably before you hurt someone.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Dearest Greetings!

Wrong again, wetback. YOU make the claim, therefore the burden of proof is on YOU.


My guess is that satan sent you here to mock God. Big mistake, Pedro.

Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.

[Ammand Renado Estalt]

Re: Dearest Greetings!

Infraction: Being extremely stupid
Wow, another baseless insult.
You know, none of you "shocked and appalled" imbeciles have so far been able to prove Jesus was American, that he didn't speak Hebrew and not American English, or that I am not God. Still no proof? I, as the UNCONTESTED TRUE GOD, hereby proclaim that all of you are Godless heathens bound for an eternity of damnation until you can prove I am not God and Jesus was American.

I will be waiting, and laughing heartily.

Banning me and attacking me with insults will only prove you have lost and I am God. Don't redirect, prove me wrong, or forever be damned by the One True God, myself.

[Felicity]

Re: Dearest Greetings!

@Ammand Renado Estalt Feel free to use your almighty powers to unban yourself.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Dearest Greetings!

@Ammand Renado Estalt Feel free to use your almighty powers to unban yourself.