Hi everybody

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Hello everyone!

My name is Johannes Kirkeholm and my father has just allowed me to use the internet as long as I only use it to visit:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net

and

http://www.landoverbaptist.org

So here I am. I live in the filthy state of Denmark on a farm called 'Elias' Pigfarm.' This farm was build by my forefarther Elias Kirkeholm four generations ago and it is still owned by my family. We used to farm both cows and pigs but since the mudslime invasion we only farm pigs so that we can be sure that the food we produce don't go into some mudslime stomach.

My family are pretty much the only christian people in this part of Denmark and since I am surrounded by heathens I have to take great care not to be corrupted by the nonbelievers. Luckily I have my father and The Bible to guide me and the Lord has blessed with enough strength to resist the temptations of heathen life.

I haven't always been strong though. In Denmark you have to get permission from the state if you want to homeschool your children and the stupid state didn't think my father nor mother were qualified to teach me due to their religious beliefs and disapproval of science. So I had to go to a public school where the teacher actually convinced my with his lies about evolution. I am very ashamed to admit this but I became an atheist. This led to a very dark period in my life where all I ever did was to get high on marijuana and fornicate with slutty whores. I can't explain in words how terrible this part of my past was.

Luckily, my father found out and he straightened me out with the usage of his cane. I thank The Lord everyday for giving my father the strength and patience to do so. I realized the error of my ways and returned to the fold. I stopped smoking marijuana, I stopped masterbating and I stopped fornicating. And I started repenting. Slowly the hole in my soul was filled with love for Jesus.

As I returned to being a devoted christian I was shunned by everybody but my family. When I demanded that the local library stopped lending out Harry Potter books I was publicly ridiculed. But this doesn't bother me because the bible says:

Matthew 5:10; Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven

.


I am currently unmarried despite the fact that I am 20 years old. I simply haven't succeeded finding a christian woman in this godforsaken country. Most of the women in Denmark are disease ridden whores and lesbians who only stops to fornicate when they need to kill their babies via birth control pills or abortions. And the girls who don't fornicate all the time are fat feminists.

"For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit." Proverbs 23:27

My greatest aspiration is to move to USA, the country of God where I hope to meet a women who loves Jesus as much as I do. Unfortunately Denmark is a poor communist country where you have to pay 80% of your income in taxes so it will take a while for my family to get the money for a ticket. In the mean time I shall do my best to make up for my sins so that I will be truly worthy of living in USA when the ticket can be afforded.

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Re: Hi everybody

Hello Johannes

I like your introduction. It's always great to hear from another Denmarkian who has accepted Jesus as his savior. I must admit, I'm surprised to hear from another Christian from this hell hole of ours. Normally, everyone from the devils playground of Denmark are ignorant trolls who are only here to persecute us. How can we be sure you are not really a troll and making all this up? Please let us know how you came to know about this wonderful site, which is the closest you will ever come to heaven on earth.

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Hi everybody

You must forgive me if I ask a stupid question dear sir but I am not yet familiar with internet language since my father has just recently allowed me to visit the world wide web - what is a troll? However, I can secure you that I am not making any of this up. If I were I would never have been honest about my sinfull nature in the past but would instead lie and boast about all the mudslimes I've converted in order to gain the approval of upstanding and rightous christians.

I can assure you that I am not here to persecute any christians - I know what it is like to be persecuted just because you know the truth. In fact I am here because I am looking for intelligent likeminded individuals who have opened their eyes and realized the truth - that since The Bible is the word of God and since that God is infallible everything in The Bible is true

It annoys me greatly how so many of our country men fail to realize this. They choose to believe some stupid 'scientists' that are arrogant enough to think that they know better than God who know all things.

It was my father who discovered this wonderful site when he typed in 'King James Bible 1611' into the google search engine. Seeing that I have sinned greatly in my past he introduced me to the site because he believet it could be a very positive influence on me. An so far it really has!

[Lycia The Repentant]

Re: Hi everybody

Hello Johannes

"I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance." Luke 15:7

As another who has recently repented let me extend my welcomes to you.

You didn't mention what church you go to, but from what I've heard of Denmark I'm not even sure if they even have any churches there.

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Hi everybody

Hello Johannes

"I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance." Luke 15:7

As another who has recently repented let me extend my welcomes to you.

You didn't mention what church you go to, but from what I've heard of Denmark I'm not even sure if they even have any churches there.

Thanks for the welcomes - Denmark is truly an unholy place. My dad told me that our evil government even allows mudslimes and jews to build mosques and synagoges here

We do have som churches but the vast majority of them consists of false christians. People who believe that the bible is meant as one long allegory and that everything in it isn't to be taken literally. As if our Lord WHO IS PERFECT would not be able to express himself clearly enough without having people guessing the meaning to his words. These churches even allow female priests and homosexual weddings.

I know of at least one church, however, and since I haven't met sir Kristoffersen there I assume that there must be at least to baptist churches that teaches the truth. The one I go to is called 'Skagen baptist church.'

[Brother Alex]

Re: Hi everybody

We do have som churches but the vast majority of them consists of false christians. People who believe that the bible is meant as one long allegory and that everything in it isn't to be taken literally. As if our Lord WHO IS PERFECT would not be able to express himself clearly enough without having people guessing the meaning to his words. These churches even allow female priests and homosexual weddings.

Yes, the unholy liberals have always had some strange ideas regarding the law. The whole of Europistan is going to roast in hell as far as I know.

Psalm 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.

Anyway, welcome to God's favorite forum. If it's Salvation™ you're seeking then you've come to the right place.

YIC,
Alex

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hi everybody

Praise! It truly is inspirational to see that even a poor, lowly, probably-deformed Scandinavian like yourself is still prepared to seek after Our Lord.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hi everybody

Hi Johannes, welcome to our friendly forum were like minded people can freely and openly discuss their love of God.
What sexual diseases have you had to contract living in that sin filled country?
Are your children clean and pure? Does your government perform experiments on your genitalia? I have heard some truly sordid stories.

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Hi everybody

Thanks for the warm welcomes everybody. It is truly nice to be able to discuss religion with people who aren't satanic or atheist

Hi Johannes, welcome to our friendly forum were like minded people can freely and openly discuss their love of God.
What sexual diseases have you had to contract living in that sin filled country?
Are your children clean and pure? Does your government perform experiments on your genitalia? I have heard some truly sordid stories.

Well, I am not gonna lie. I have had a bunch of STDs that I contracted during my rebellious period, which truly is the darkest and most horrid period of my life. I was a stupid atheist at the time so I went to the doctor and got some medicine. Of course it didn't work because the STDs I had were (of course) God's punishment for my fornication. It was first when I repented that the diseases gradually went away - how some people can believe in science is really beyond me

I am ashamed to say that even though I am twenty years old I have yet to have any children - I simply haven't been able to find any rightous women in this hell hole of a country. Most of the women here spend all their leisure time demonstrating for female rights, fornicating and going to abortion clinics. Not my cup of tea

Denmarkia truly has one of the most evil communist governments imaginable and yes to my knowlegde they do experiment on both male and female genitalia. Luckily they only experiment on people in the larger cities and I live in the rural area so I have never been subject to such awful experiments myself. To give you an idea about how bad Denmarkia really is you should know that we have a female candidate for primeminister() who wants do distribute crack to the poor because she thinks it is unfair that it is only the rich atheists that can afford it.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Hi everybody

Thanks for the warm welcomes everybody. It is truly nice to be able to discuss religion with people who aren't satanic or atheist

I know, really. I seems like everyone outside of Freehold is a Satanic atheist priest, or knows someone who has been sacrificed by one.

Well, I am not gonna lie. I have had a bunch of STDs that I contracted during my rebellious period, which truly is the darkest and most horrid period of my life. I was a stupid atheist at the time so I went to the doctor and got some medicine. Of course it didn't work because the STDs I had were (of course) God's punishment for my fornication. It was first when I repented that the diseases gradually went away - how some people can believe in science is really beyond me

Some scripture about the healing power of the Lord, for your perusal.


Exodus 15:26 (King James Version) 26And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.


Deuteronomy 7:15 (King James Version) 15And the LORD will take away from thee all sickness, and will put none of the evil diseases of Egypt, which thou knowest, upon thee; but will lay them upon all them that hate thee.


Psalm 103:1-5 (King James Version) 1Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. 2Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: 3Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; 4Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; 5Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.


Psalm 103:2-3 (King James Version) 2Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: 3Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;


Psalm 107:19-20 (King James Version) 19Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses. 20He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.


Psalm 147:3 (King James Version) 3He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.


Proverbs 3:7-8 (King James Version) 7Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. 8It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.


Isaiah 19:22 (King James Version) 22And the LORD shall smite Egypt: he shall smite and heal it: and they shall return even to the LORD, and he shall be intreated of them, and shall heal them.


Isaiah 53:5 (King James Version) 5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.


Isaiah 57:17-18 (King James Version) 17For the iniquity of his covetousness was I wroth, and smote him: I hid me, and was wroth, and he went on frowardly in the way of his heart. 18I have seen his ways, and will heal him: I will lead him also, and restore comforts unto him and to his mourners.


Jeremiah 30:12-14, 17 12For thus saith the LORD, Thy bruise is incurable, and thy wound is grievous. 13There is none to plead thy cause, that thou mayest be bound up: thou hast no healing medicines. 14All thy lovers have forgotten thee; they seek thee not; for I have wounded thee with the wound of an enemy, with the chastisement of a cruel one, for the multitude of thine iniquity; because thy sins were increased.17For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.


Malachi 4:2 (King James Version) 2But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.

I am ashamed to say that even though I am twenty years old I have yet to have any children - I simply haven't been able to find any rightous women in this hell hole of a country. Most of the women here spend all their leisure time demonstrating for female rights, fornicating and going to abortion clinics. Not my cup of tea

Nobody's perfect. I'm thirty and I've only had seven children. Four of them were female so I gave them away. I didn't want them bleeding all over the place. You also have to supervise women, and I had enough trouble just looking after my late ex-wife Ethel.

Denmarkia truly has one of the most evil communist governments imaginable and yes to my knowlegde they do experiment on both male and female genitalia. Luckily they only experiment on people in the larger cities and I live in the rural area so I have never been subject to such awful experiments myself. To give you an idea about how bad Denmarkia really is you should know that we have a female candidate for primeminister() who wants do distribute crack to the poor because she thinks it is unfair that it is only the rich atheists that can afford it.

Why are the atheists rich? Is it because Satan has control over Denmarkistan? In my experience atheists are usually poor because God hates them, except in California, where Satan reigns, especially in Hollywood and San Francisco.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hi everybody

My heart goes out to you, my Christian brother. Ever thought about hopping a steamer and coming to the promised land? If you can get to Norfolk, I can get you to Freehold. If you get to NYC, (Westchester airport) I am sure Brother Dewitt could slip you on hs plane on one of his trips to Freehold.

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Hi everybody

Thank you so much for the wonderful scripture Mr. Billy Bob Jenkins

I don't know whether satan is in control of Denmarkia. I think there is a massive powerstruggle going on because sure some atheists are rich but most atheists actually die of cancer or STDs. It is as if satan make them rich but God is still there to punish them. Also the mudslimes are very poor in Denmarkia which suggests that satan is not in total control just yet.

And yes Mr. James Hutchins - it is my greatest aspiration to move to USA, espcially Freehold. I certainly won't meet many good christian women here! But since Denmarkia is a poor communist country and my family and I pay 80% of our income in taxes it is gonna take a while for me to scrape the money for at ticket together.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hi everybody

Perhaps you could sell some of your blood.
God does not like it when we defile our bodies though I think under the circumstances He will understand.
There are plenty of goth people there who will pay top dollar for warm blood. You know how they are.

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Hi everybody

Yes, that might be an idea. Even though most goth people in Denmarkia already have AIDS they still don't like drinking blood containing the disease. And since most denmarkians have AIDS they will probably pay very handsomely for a batch of pure, warm, christian blood in this hell hole of a country.

Thank you so much for all the help, Sir! I just hope that God can see how the end justifies the means. If I do it I shall repent the defiling of my body nontheless.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Hi everybody

Welcome to our forum, we do know that there are at least 10 True Christians in your unholy land, because that is the only thing that is keeping God from wiping the country off the face of the earth.

Genesis 18:32 And he said, Oh let not the LORD be angry, and I will speak yet but this once: Peradventure ten shall be found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for ten's sake.

I don't think anyone answered your troll question, here's a visual aid.



Sometimes they come on here and pretend to be True Christians, we've even had them claim that they live in Freehold. But the demons they're infested with can't take being here very long and will explode with violence usually by their 5th post.