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  • screamingeagle
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Oct 2010
    • 8

    #1

    Hello Brothers in God

    Hi My Name is Jeremy, I am a Catholic but has not been to church for quite awhile... I believe I am lost and have wronged Jesus because I have partying (and everything that goes with it) most of my life...

    But I want to be saved and prevent eternal damnation... I hope I found the right forum and will be helped by you guys....
    "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16
  • Billy Bob Jenkins
    Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
    About as Straight and Manly as you can get
    Hates anal sex. And trees.
    True Christian™
    • May 2010
    • 8337

    #2
    Re: Hello Brothers in God

    Screaming Eagle,

    You came to the right place. Getting saved is a three step process:

    1. Get a KJV1611 Bible.

    2. Read it.

    3. Do everything it says.
    The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

    Comment

    • Lost Sheep McUinnean
      Linguistics and Translation Consultant
      True Christian™
      • Nov 2009
      • 2193

      #3
      Re: Hello Brothers in God

      Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
      Screaming Eagle,

      You came to the right place. Getting saved is a three step process:

      1. Get a KJV1611 Bible.

      2. Read it.

      3. Do everything it says.
      Exactly.
      Welcome friend. tell us a little more about yourself. Where are you from? Your favourite Bible verse? Your favourite example of the Lord's smiting?

      And how you found us.

      Comment

      • screamingeagle
        Unsaved trash
        Under Investigation
        • Oct 2010
        • 8

        #4
        Re: Hello Brothers in God

        Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
        Screaming Eagle,

        You came to the right place. Getting saved is a three step process:

        1. Get a KJV1611 Bible.

        2. Read it.

        3. Do everything it says.
        Thanksa lot sir... Well, I already have A King James Bible and have read it quite often when I was younger but I certainly need to get back on it as it was decades ago... I don't quite get it when you say "do everything it says", I mean how does this apply to things like parables?
        "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16

        Comment

        • Jo Freddie
          Unsaved trash
          Hateful God mocking pirate
          • Apr 2009
          • 6339

          #5
          Re: Hello Brothers in God

          Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
          Screaming Eagle,

          You came to the right place. Getting saved is a three step process:

          1. Get a KJV1611 Bible.

          2. Read it.

          3. Do everything it says.
          4. Then hand yourself over to the secular authorities who, depending on where you are, will either give you a room to spend the rest of your life reading the KJV-CFT or help you discover the truth about the afterlife.
          Posted via Pasta

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          Comment

          • Brother Temperance
            Senior Usher
            True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
            A very nice young man
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 15621

            #6
            Re: Hello Brothers in God

            Originally posted by screamingeagle View Post
            Hi My Name is Jeremy, I am a Catholic but has not been to church for quite awhile... I believe I am lost and have wronged Jesus because I have partying (and everything that goes with it) most of my life...
            Friend, as a Catholic you were wronging Jesus from the first time you prayed to an idol or pretended to chow down on Our Lord. Thankfully, we have an excellent ex-Catholic treatment programme here at Landover. Our ex-partygoer treatment programme is still in development, at the moment it just consists of a course of aversion therapy making heavy use of the Books of Job and Ecclesiastes and the music of Andrew WK, but I'm sure we should still be able to help you.
            Originally posted by screamingeagle View Post
            Thanksa lot sir... Well, I already have A King James Bible and have read it quite often when I was younger but I certainly need to get back on it as it was decades ago... I don't quite get it when you say "do everything it says", I mean how does this apply to things like parables?
            You work out what the parable means (feel free to ask us if you're having any help with this part) and then you do what it says.
            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

            Comment

            • Rev. M. Rodimer
              Honorary True Christian™
              Forum Member
              • May 2008
              • 13996

              #7
              Re: Hello Brothers in God

              Welcome, Jeremy!

              Have you seen Landover's handy Bible in a Year section? It's on this very forum.

              There, you can see Brother V's commentary on every book of the Bible, and join in a discussion if any part isn't crystal clear!
              Bible boring? Nonsense!
              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

              Comment

              • David Micheal
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • Aug 2010
                • 207

                #8
                Re: Hello Brothers in God

                Originally posted by screamingeagle View Post
                Hi My Name is Jeremy, I am a Catholic but has not been to church for quite awhile... I believe I am lost and have wronged Jesus because I have partying (and everything that goes with it) most of my life...

                But I want to be saved and prevent eternal damnation... I hope I found the right forum and will be helped by you guys....
                Welcome, Jesus opened your eyes to the truth about the Catholics and guided you here. I think you can get treatment to help you completely erase any Catholic behaviors you might have.

                Jeremy is it? Well Jeremy, I hope you can achieve True Christian status soon.

                Comment

                • screamingeagle
                  Unsaved trash
                  Under Investigation
                  • Oct 2010
                  • 8

                  #9
                  Re: Hello Brothers in God

                  Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                  Friend, as a Catholic you were wronging Jesus from the first time you prayed to an idol or pretended to chow down on Our Lord. Thankfully, we have an excellent ex-Catholic treatment programme here at Landover. Our ex-partygoer treatment programme is still in development, at the moment it just consists of a course of aversion therapy making heavy use of the Books of Job and Ecclesiastes and the music of Andrew WK, but I'm sure we should still be able to help you.

                  You work out what the parable means (feel free to ask us if you're having any help with this part) and then you do what it says.
                  I am not quite fond of being Catholic either...As I stated above I have never been to church for a long time now cause I don't really see the point... You see, I have been educated in Catholic schools from Elementary through College... I have seen it's hypocrisies and wickedness since childhood... Frankly, I got sick and tired of it... Although, I got my degree through their institution.... I am optimistic that I am not beyond help and with your Church's guidance and Jesus beside me, I will be saved.
                  "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16

                  Comment

                  • screamingeagle
                    Unsaved trash
                    Under Investigation
                    • Oct 2010
                    • 8

                    #10
                    Re: Hello Brothers in God

                    Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                    Welcome, Jeremy!

                    Have you seen Landover's handy Bible in a Year section? It's on this very forum.

                    There, you can see Brother V's commentary on every book of the Bible, and join in a discussion if any part isn't crystal clear!
                    Well, I am now browsing those threads and thanks for pointing me to the right direction.. I will be active in the discussion especially with things that are not clear and confusing to a sinful person like me.....

                    Originally posted by David Micheal View Post
                    Welcome, Jesus opened your eyes to the truth about the Catholics and guided you here. I think you can get treatment to help you completely erase any Catholic behaviors you might have.

                    Jeremy is it? Well Jeremy, I hope you can achieve True Christian status soon.
                    Yeah I am Jeremy and thanks for your optimism with regards to my current sad state... I do hope that I will be a True Christian with the help and guidance of you guys.... I thank Jesus for introducing me to you wonderful, enlightened people....
                    "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16

                    Comment

                    • Seth Campbell
                      Outdoorsman, Hunter, Fisherman, Husband, True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Apr 2010
                      • 1565

                      #11
                      Re: Hello Brothers in God

                      Originally posted by screamingeagle View Post
                      I am not quite fond of being Catholic either...As I stated above I have never been to church for a long time now cause I don't really see the point... You see, I have been educated in Catholic schools from Elementary through College... I have seen it's hypocrisies and wickedness since childhood... Frankly, I got sick and tired of it... Although, I got my degree through their institution.... I am optimistic that I am not beyond help and with your Church's guidance and Jesus beside me, I will be saved.
                      Welcome!

                      It's always nice to see someone get out of that pagan practice and find real Christianity. From what I've seen, many Catholics are so destroyed by that religion that they are too hostile to accept any teachings.

                      There are other ex-catholics around, I hope you find a home here.
                      PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

                      Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

                      Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

                      Comment

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