I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

[Repentant James]

Hello, Landover. 3 years ago I stopped being a homer and turned my life to Jesus. Now I'm looking for a church that understands Gods word, but it seems like Landover is the only one that doesn't go with some hippy, liberal, Obsama inspired version of the Bible.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

Welcome to our friendly forum!

Do you have any favorite scripture?

[Repentant James]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

Do you have any favorite scripture?

2Kings 2:23-24

Let's us all know that God doesn't mess around when he's punishing sin.

[Lycia The Repentant]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

Hello James, and welcome.

Always nice to see another repentant soul here.

I'm glad you have decided to stop being a homersexual, too often people think they can't choose to stop sinning in that way. I'll leave you with this bit of scripture:

"I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance." Luke 15:7

[landoverlover]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

Hello, Landover. 3 years ago I stopped being a homer and turned my life to Jesus. Now I'm looking for a church that understands Gods word, but it seems like Landover is the only one that doesn't go with some hippy, liberal, Obsama inspired version of the Bible.

Welcome James! That's some pretty powerful testimony. So many satan-soaked people are deceived into thinking homers are born that way and they don't have a choice - that's the Hershey Highway to Hell !

For the benefit of others that are struggling with this, can you tell us more about how you started playing for the right team? Was it immediate or did you gradually start being attracted to the ladies?

Thanks for more testimony!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

Welcome to God's favorite forum. Are you the nancyboy ex-queer that sister Betty Bowers told me about?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[despising david]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

Hello, Landover. 3 years ago I stopped being a homer and turned my life to Jesus. Now I'm looking for a church that understands Gods word, but it seems like Landover is the only one that doesn't go with some hippy, liberal, Obsama inspired version of the Bible.

You are very correct in that we don't use satanic pagan influenced bible's like mormons or your pick of the many cult's running around calling themselve's christian's and desecrating Baby jesus. We use the one true bible, the King Jame's Version of 1611!!! If you ever got confused about God's intentions and beliefs it was most likely because you were reading one of the many false bible's calling themselves legitamate

[waywardJim]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

James are you saying that you use to find men attractive and then you found Jesus and now you are only attracted to woman and completely don't even enjoy a nice close friendship with a friendly, attractive man?

[Repentant James]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

For the benefit of others that are struggling with this, can you tell us more about how you started playing for the right team? Was it immediate or did you gradually start being attracted to the ladies?

I'm going to put a more detailed message in the Straight 4 Jesus sub forum. I think my message should be in there as an example for other satanic queers to learn from.

Welcome to God's favorite forum. Are you the nancyboy ex-queer that sister Betty Bowers told me about?

I'm one of them. I went through the BASH program in the summer of 2007 and was quite successful with it. I don't understand how so many other homers can't do the same. Exorcizing the homosexual demons from my body is NOT impossible, like so many of them say.

[Repentant James]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

James are you saying that you use to find men attractive and then you found Jesus and now you are only attracted to woman and completely don't even enjoy a nice close friendship with a friendly, attractive man?

I'm saying I'm a true heterosexual now and I'm only attracted to women, which is what God intended. True heterosexual men don't have friendships with other men except to watch football and drink beer!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

Welcome James! That's some pretty powerful testimony. So many satan-soaked people are deceived into thinking homers are born that way and they don't have a choice - that's the Hershey Highway to Hell !

For the benefit of others that are struggling with this, can you tell us more about how you started playing for the right team? Was it immediate or did you gradually start being attracted to the ladies?

Thanks for more testimony!

I really don't know what I'm talking about here, of course - but is it suggested that baby"s are born already wanting to engage in liaisons with members of the same sex? I have always been curious about this. Normal babies wouldn't know anything about what sex they were would they? If one of the gentlemen could offer instruction, that would be great.

Do the babies get demon possessed before they are born?

[waywardJim]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

So James, what your saying is that curling up on the couch with some popcorn, a good movie and a sweet, tan man does not sound cozy?

[Repentant James]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

I really don't know what I'm talking about here, of course - but is it suggested that baby"s are born already wanting to engage in liaisons with members of the same sex? I have always been curious about this. Normal babies wouldn't know anything about what sex they were would they? If one of the gentlemen could offer instruction, that would be great.

Do the babies get demon possessed before they are born?

It's entirely possible. If the mother is demon possessed, them it's possible for the demon to enter the baby from the mother.

[Repentant James]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

So James, what your saying is that curling up on the couch with some popcorn, a good movie and a sweet, tan man does not sound cozy?

No! I am now a true heterosexual and have no desires for men!

Why are you trying to find a gay boyfriend on these Godly forums, nancyboy?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I want guidance and fellowship from Landover

No! I am now a true heterosexual and have no desires for men!

Why are you trying to find a gay boyfriend on these Godly forums, nancyboy?

He is probably looking for a popcorn surprise having an identity crisis Joshua 24:14 ©1611