Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

[Waffenator]

Dear Landover Congregation,

Thank you all for creating a center for spiritual guidance that is based on the true word of God.

I am the clan leader of the 116th Panzer Division Windhund. We are a band of wargamers deployed in a variety of virtual battlefields, from World of Tanks to Company of Heroes Online.

I am here today to respectfully ask the Pastors and congregation to pray for our success on the virtual battlefield.

Specifically,

1. Please pray for every bit of information exchanged between the game servers and my members computers travels through God's firewall and injected with the power of the True Christian ™ faith.

2. Please protect our members from foreigners and unbelievers who are able to connect to the games we play.

3. Please guide members in True Christian ™ beliefs and lead them in the teachings of the language of God aka American, and The Country of God, The United States.

4. Most importantly please pray that our enemies, unbelievers, non-Christians, sodomites, liberals soon meet the same destiny in real life as they do in game life. Note: my enemies list is not complete please offer your guidance to who else should be included in the list of enemies of True Christian ™ believers.

Respectfully Yours,

Waffenator

[Hank]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

I'll pray after you tell us a bit more about yourself. Waffinator, is that a German name? You sound like a bit of a faggit to me.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

That bit of turf you Germans flatten into pulp every time you head for France.

Belgium. That's the name..

[Waffenator]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

Dear Hank,

Thanks for your warm welcome. We are a clan based on The 116th Panzer division a Wehrmacht unit in world war II.

They were largely fighting for the German people rather than carrying the banner of any extremist or hate group point of view. Any advice regarding this policy?

Waffenator is a nonsensical word made up of the first part of Waffen and the last part of Terminator.

Our clan promotes camaraderie and brotherhood and has a don't ask don't tell policy regarding homosexuals. Any advice regarding this policy?

I myself am American living in Sweden and married to a 6 foot tall, blond haired, blue eyed Norwegian lady, who is beautifully intimidating.

She has faithfully given me two boys and god has clearly blessed me with no girls.

Oh, we live in Malmo, Sweden which is a city compromised of 40% immigrants many of which are Muslims. In fact over 200 languages are spoken in the city and women are often dressed in the modest attire of the Hajib. Would you be interested in visiting us and preaching the Gospel sometime?

Thanks for your interest!

[Hank]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

Our clan promotes camaraderie and brotherhood and has a don't ask don't tell policy regarding homosexuals. Any advice regarding this policy?

Yeah that means your either a fag or a fag enabler!

I strongly suggest you visit my old local Church website www.godhatesfags.com it will open your eyes.

Faggits are a cancer on society and the only cure is True Christian(tm) real MEN like me who are willing to preach the truth for Jesus.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

Dear Hank,

Thanks for your warm welcome. We are a clan based on The 116th Panzer division a Wehrmacht unit in world war II.

They were largely fighting for the German people rather than carrying the banner of any extremist or hate group point of view. Any advice regarding this policy?

Waffenator is a nonsensical word made up of the first part of Waffen and the last part of Terminator.

Our clan promotes camaraderie and brotherhood and has a don't ask don't tell policy regarding homosexuals. Any advice regarding this policy?

I myself am American living in Sweden and married to a 6 foot tall, blond haired, blue eyed Norwegian lady, who is beautifully intimidating.

She has faithfully given me two boys and god has clearly blessed me with no girls.

Oh, we live in Malmo, Sweden which is a city compromised of 40% immigrants many of which are Muslims. In fact over 200 languages are spoken in the city and women are often dressed in the modest attire of the Hajib. Would you be interested in visiting us and preaching the Gospel sometime?

Thanks for your interest!

Let me see if I get this correct. You are married to a 6 foot tall, blond, blue eyed Swede who in your mind is gorgeous. And you want to talk about computer driven war games, based on a war that ended 65 years ago.

Hank you are correct he is a Homersexural.

[Waffenator]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

That bit of turf you Germans flatten into pulp every time you head for France.

Belgium. That's the name..

Dear Lost Sheep,

How is the expansion of the LBC Gospel going in Spain? Your dedication to spreading the word of god is admired.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

Dear Lost Sheep,

How is the expansion of the LBC Gospel going in Spain? Your dedication to spreading the word of god is admired.

Quite positively actually, thanks for asking. As yet we do not have a Pastor designated but we do have a group of 7 young ladies awaiting full conversion (4 are ex-Yahooga's Witnesses). We're working on Bible Study and looking to start a study centre (help and support from Brother Dewitt and Rev. Osbourne being much appreciated in this respect.)

The only hurdle so far is the innate clumsiness of the Latins with the peculiar Rs of the American Language and their sluggishness with full comprehension of early 17th Century English, but we're getting there. Just takes a bit of patience with the Scripture until fuller deeper penetration can be achieved. I'm squeezing in as much as I can at the moment and luckily my wife is a great help too.

But tell us a little more about your own relationship with Jesus?
Is it hard living among godless manic-depressive porn-obsessed suicidal dullards?

[Waffenator]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

But tell us a little more about your own relationship with Jesus?
Is it hard living among godless manic-depressive porn-obsessed suicidal dullards?

Well good work on the natives and moving them towards the only valid form of belief in existence.

Regarding my own personal relationship with Jesus as god is my witness. I have strayed from the path many times...

1. Donated to Wikileaks
2. Befriended a vegetarian
3. Downloaded copyrighted material...mainly back episodes of the Morten Downey, Jr. show Rush Limbaugh's failed TV Gameshow "The Final Solution"
4. Exposed my family to a rally of the Iranian Communist Parties arm here in Malmo, Sweden.
5. Wore ladies undergarments festooned with Wehrmacht embroidery between the hours of 10 and 2 every third Sunday of the month.

When I was still in the promised land, America, I was a True Christian ™. However, after having moved to Sweden..I strayed from the path and above transgressions happened...this may be too shocking for anyone's eyes so please hide the children and frail people's eyes from what I am about to tell you.....

6. I was serenaded by the real Swedish Chef living here in Sweden by his melodic voice and spent many a midsommers nights eating his Swedish Meatballs.

Is there any hope for me to repent and become a True Christian ™ once more?

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

Well good work on the natives and moving them towards the only valid form of belief in existence.

Regarding my own personal relationship with Jesus as god is my witness. I have strayed from the path many times...

1. Donated to Wikileaks
2. Befriended a vegetarian
3. Downloaded copyrighted material...mainly back episodes of the Morten Downey, Jr. show Rush Limbaugh's failed TV Gameshow "The Final Solution"
4. Exposed my family to a rally of the Iranian Communist Parties arm here in Malmo, Sweden.
5. Wore ladies undergarments festooned with Wehrmacht embroidery between the hours of 10 and 2 every third Sunday of the month.

When I was still in the promised land, America, I was a True Christian ™. However, after having moved to Sweden..I strayed from the path and above transgressions happened...this may be too shocking for anyone's eyes so please hide the children and frail people's eyes from what I am about to tell you.....

6. I was serenaded by the real Swedish Chef living here in Sweden by his melodic voice and spent many a midsommers nights eating his Swedish Meatballs.

Is there any hope for me to repent and become a True Christian ™ once more?

Salvation is ALWAYS possible as long as you repent. Find a local True Baptist congregation in your area, if not there, I'm sure there'll be one in Helsingborg. Remember, where only afew are gathered in His name, He will be among us.

Our own congregation is flourishing and blossoming here in Spain, and although we are but a small flock, and as my lovely wife says daily, the Lord knows it's not size that matters, but rather spiritual girth and what you do with it.

Now sin no more my friend.

[Hank]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

2. Befriended a vegetarian

You really are a faggit. Dont you know vegitarians are faggits who have rejected Christ's love and turned to eating the thistles and thorns of the ground instead of tasty animals like God commanded us to? Being friends with them you have spat on Baby Jesus.

(Scripture edited to help the faggit understand)
2 Corinthians 6:14: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers [ie vegitarian faggits]: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

[Waffenator]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

Salvation is ALWAYS possible as long as you repent. Find a local True Baptist congregation in your area, if not there, I'm sure there'll be one in Helsingborg. Remember, where only afew are gathered in His name, He will be among us.

Our own congregation is flourishing and blossoming here in Spain, and although we are but a small flock, and as my lovely wife says daily, the Lord knows it's not size that matters, but rather spiritual girth and what you do with it.

Now sin no more my friend.

Hallelujah! Bear witness I repent.

Let us pray

"We thank you, God, for the gift of creation, the gift of life and your presence with us. Gracious God, bless by your Holy Spirit this water. By your Holy Spirit save those who confess the name of Jesus Christ that sin may have no power over them. Create new life in the one baptized this day that I may rise in Christ. Glory to you, eternal God, the one who was, and is, and shall always be, world without end. Amen."

[Brother V]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

6. I was serenaded by the real Swedish Chef living here in Sweden by his melodic voice and spent many a midsommers nights eating his Swedish Meatballs.

[Waffenator]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

You really are a faggit. Dont you know vegitarians are faggits who have rejected Christ's love and turned to eating the thistles and thorns of the ground instead of tasty animals like God commanded us to? Being friends with them you have spat on Baby Jesus.

(Scripture edited to help the faggit understand)
2 Corinthians 6:14: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers [ie vegitarian faggits]: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Dear Hank,

Due to guidance by a fellow congregation members I have sought to take on the true path of the lord and change the direction of my moral compass. I have taken the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior and ask for salvation from God and support from Landover Baptist Church, including yourself.

Sincerely,

Your brother in spirit and faith,

Waffenator

[James Dewitt]

Re: Hello from the 116th Panzer Division

Yea right a Christian in Sweden, sure, you bet..... That is like finding a virgin in Canada, it ain't going to happen.