Hello my Brothers and Sisters before Christ.

[Brother Bob Cross]

Let me just start with a glorious PRAISE JESUS CHRIST.

I can't tell you how long it's been since I've seen a community so wholly overflowing with the Holy Spirit. I come from Katy, Texas and my local service hasn't got half the devotion and faith that Landover does. The most gracious way to say this, and an incredibly obvious choice, is:
Romans 1:8 First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all, that your faith is spoken of throughout the whole world.

So clearly, I'd love to join the ranks as a fellow man before God. I am very excited that you True Christian folk are so in line with the one true Holy Bible and the one true faith.

If I hear one more heathen spit satanist nonsense my way, I just may be forced to take my F350 Super Duty Diesel truck (nicknamed the Christ Hammer, mind you) right through their dirty scoundrel homestead. Since I live in a primarily white, pure, Baptist area, I don't get this chance often enough... but some day my Christ Hammer will pay itself off by crushing the homes of many heathens.

These things aside, I am a life-long believer and extremely close personal lover of Jesus Christ. Never have I loved a man so much, and don't you dare get any of that faggot bullshit going in your head, because my love for Him is more pure than any homer filth ever was.

Thank you once again for having such a pure community devoted to the Lord. After a bit of carousing the site, I've realized how great you all are at keeping ignorant hellbound trash out of this place.

I hope to be welcomed with open arms and open Bibles.

- Brother Bob Cross

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: Hello my Brothers and Sisters before Christ.

I hope as well that you will find our congregation congenial.

Christ's great work upon the Earth is progressing, and the mighty Battle is underway!

The forces of ignorance, of superstition -- of thousands of years of HATRED! -- are at last being challenged by clean, clear-sighted truth!

Of course I speak of Christ's Truth! And the unrepentant know it not.

Behold, he travaileth with iniquity, and hath conceived mischief, and brought forth falsehood.

He made a pit, and digged it, and is fallen into the ditch which he made. Psalm 7:14,15

I might counsel you to find a good Bible concordance and use it to find scripture which well-supports your posts concerning the Lord. After all, a post without a quotation from the King James Bible is like a pharisee without emerods!

~~ OEJ

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: Hello my Brothers and Sisters before Christ.

Well hello Brother!

I'm happy to see that the Lord has directed you to our site and I hope that he can use you and work through you to achieve greatness. Tell us though, what is your favorite version of the Bible (KJV)? Hardcover or softcover? Are you single? I remember that Sister Talitha had a cousin awhile back that was looking for a suitable Godly True Christian man to keep her in line. As far as I know she needs a little beating here or there to keep her in line and she drools a lot, but she knows how to cook and clean and she can keep her mouth shut, making her a perfect candidate for marriage.

Also, what is your favorite verse from the word of God?(KJV)

[Brother Bob Cross]

Re: Hello my Brothers and Sisters before Christ.

Well it's got to be:

And I will set my glory among the heathen, and all the heathen shall see my judgment that I have executed, and my hand that I have laid upon them. Ezekiel 39:21

It always joys me to remember just exactly what the Lord has in store for the men who are unable to live in the service of Jesus Christ.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Hello my Brothers and Sisters before Christ.

Well it's got to be:

And I will set my glory among the heathen, and all the heathen shall see my judgment that I have executed, and my hand that I have laid upon them. Ezekiel 39:21

It always joys me to remember just exactly what the Lord has in store for the men who are unable to live in the service of Jesus Christ.

Godly words friend. A TRUE Christian(tm) always rejoices in the Justice of the Lord. Only sinners need fear it.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello my Brothers and Sisters before Christ.

Praise Jesus and welcome, Friend. Thank you for being on the side of Christ.

2 Timothy 4:2 Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.

[Mrs. Jemima Cameltoe]

Re: Hello my Brothers and Sisters before Christ.

If I hear one more heathen spit satanist nonsense my way, I just may be forced to take my F350 Super Duty Diesel truck (nicknamed the Christ Hammer, mind you) right through their dirty scoundrel homestead. Since I live in a primarily white, pure, Baptist area, I don't get this chance often enough... but some day my Christ Hammer will pay itself off by crushing the homes of many heathens.

- Brother Bob Cross

Welcome dearest Brother. I couldn't help but notice your Hammer, it's so large and manly. Would you mind if I layed hands on it? I'd like to offer up a blessing as I run my hand up and down its hard, smooth body. And glory, that muffler pipe, I've never seen a shaft that rivals it. Oddly, I feel the need to get on my knees and greet it with a holy kiss. Should I be concerned about emissions?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Hello my Brothers and Sisters before Christ.

my F350 Super Duty Diesel truck (nicknamed the Christ Hammer, mind you)

Welcome Brother!

Maybe someday we can go "cruising" the neighboorhood together.

Here is my "Hammer"

GLORY!

[Brother Bob Cross]

Re: Hello my Brothers and Sisters before Christ.

Oh WOW! PRAISE!

Jesus must be proud. I can only hope to someday get my Christ Hammer to that level of Godliness someday.

Here is mine:



I had to drive 30 miles to find this wilderness, but I think it helps to strike fear in the eyes of mudslime and other assorted heathen when they imagine their bones being that tree I'm crushing.

[Brother V]

Re: Hello my Brothers and Sisters before Christ.

I had to drive 30 miles to find this wilderness, but I think it helps to strike fear in the eyes of mudslime and other assorted heathen when they imagine their bones being that tree I'm crushing.

My, but that forest is full of HUGE leaves!

I guess everything IS bigger in Texas.

YIC
V

[Dr. Warren Wierdsbe]

Re: Hello my Brothers and Sisters before Christ.

My, but that forest is full of HUGE leaves!

I guess everything IS bigger in Texas.

YIC
V

Praise God, that must make the sisters tickled pink!