Righting a wrong

[PraiseTheAmmunition]

I like to think of myself as one of God's weapons in the war on sin. Earlier this afternoon, as I was finishing a milkshake in a Stuckeys parking lot in Yuma, Arizona, I saw something that made it impossible to finish my milkshake. A car pulled into the space next to mine, and there was a young couple inside. The problem was, THE WOMAN WAS DRIVING! We all know this to be very disrespectful to man, who God created in his image. I remembered that it is not appropriate to strike another man's property, so I attempted to reason with the emasculated young man. He acted as if there was nothing wrong with the woman driving. To make matters worse, he lit a cigarette as I was attempting to show him the way. So do you want to know what I did? I pulled out a lead pipe from my saddlebag and smashed his left kneecap in! He fell immediately and began to cry the way a weak woman does. Abandoning the pipe, I took my helmet and bashed his nose to a pulp with it, quoting scripture as I did so. I felt as if I was the Sword of Christ, smiting the heathen. The woman began screaming as I administered what the man deserved, and tried to use her cellphone to call the police. I jumped over the hood of the car before she could do so, and smashed her faggy rhinestone studded phone into pieces. Before jumping on my Harley and riding off, I kicked the crying, bloody, snotty young sinner in the groin as he was pissing himself. My brothers and sisters, it truly felt good to stand up for what's right, and if I could go back and do it again, I probably would have set fire to the car as well. My only lingering question is: should I have beaten the woman as well, or should I have left that up to the man, like I did?
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[Cursed]

Re: Righting a wrong

There's nothing wrong with what you did per se Biblically, but you must follow secular law! That means no beatings for now, I'm afraid.

Look, I'm on your side, but we must wait, brother, for secular law to fall. Only then can we administer Biblical justice as Commanded by the LORD.

I can't wait! Man, I'm going to go berserk for Jesus the second the government collapses, can I get an Amen?

[PraiseTheAmmunition]

Re: Righting a wrong

Amen Brother! Once secular law is no more, we will cleanse the earth from all the sinners, queers, minorities, and addicts. We will slaughter them by the bushel and reap our reward in Heaven! Sometimes one has to ignore man's 'laws' in order to prepare sinners for the reckoning that will soon be upon them!
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[Cursed]

Re: Righting a wrong

Amen Brother! Once secular law is no more, we will cleanse the earth from all the sinners, queers, minorities, and addicts. We will slaughter them by the bushel and reap our reward in Heaven! Sometimes one has to ignore man's 'laws' in order to prepare sinners for the reckoning that will soon be upon them!
Posted via Mobile Device

Mark 12:17 clearly demonstrates that we must follow the laws of man while here on Earth, brother, don't put your immortal soul at risk! They are not worth it.

However, one can often get the desired result within the law if one is clever.

For example, I enjoy exercising my first amendment rights by rebuking Hell spawn in an inflammatory manner until they attack me. THEN I have the right to defend myself, and can commence the pummeling for Jesus until my fists are covered with the blood of the unrighteous! Praise God!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Righting a wrong

Hey, pal; This is the introduction forum. You're supposed to tell us about yourself, your church and the paths you've walked to find Jesus.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[PraiseTheAmmunition]

Re: Righting a wrong

Pastor, was I somehow in error with the way I handled the incident with the woman driving? If so, please show me the way it should have transpired. I am here to learn, and possiblly eventually disciple others.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Righting a wrong

Pastor, was I somehow in error with the way I handled the incident with the woman driving? If so, please show me the way it should have transpired. I am here to learn, and possiblly eventually disciple others.
Posted via Mobile Device

You are in error in your way of handling the Introduction Forum, as Pastor Ezekiel has already pointed out to you.

You also disobeyed secular law, in violation of Jesus' own commandment, as Cursed has pointed out to you. Violating Jesus' commandment is what? Oh, yes, a sin.

Any other questions, or would you like to make with the introduction now?

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Righting a wrong

Did you consider the possibility that the man ordered his woman to drive?

I often have the wife chauffeur me around so I can relax, read my KJV and enjoy a fine cognac. The back seat is far more spacious anyway, and I can stretch out.

[Mary-Yves Lapierre]

Re: Righting a wrong

Allo, silly boy!!

I see you are not from Quebec. So sad for you. If you come here, and pull my boy toy from the car, I will eat your face.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Righting a wrong

I like to think of myself as one of God's weapons in the war on sin. Earlier this afternoon, as I was finishing a milkshake in a Stuckeys parking lot in Yuma, Arizona, I saw something that made it impossible to finish my milkshake. A car pulled into the space next to mine, and there was a young couple inside. The problem was, THE WOMAN WAS DRIVING! We all know this to be very disrespectful to man, who God created in his image. I remembered that it is not appropriate to strike another man's property, so I attempted to reason with the emasculated young man. He acted as if there was nothing wrong with the woman driving. To make matters worse, he lit a cigarette as I was attempting to show him the way. So do you want to know what I did? I pulled out a lead pipe from my saddlebag and smashed his left kneecap in! He fell immediately and began to cry the way a weak woman does. Abandoning the pipe, I took my helmet and bashed his nose to a pulp with it, quoting scripture as I did so. I felt as if I was the Sword of Christ, smiting the heathen. The woman began screaming as I administered what the man deserved, and tried to use her cellphone to call the police. I jumped over the hood of the car before she could do so, and smashed her faggy rhinestone studded phone into pieces. Before jumping on my Harley and riding off, I kicked the crying, bloody, snotty young sinner in the groin as he was pissing himself. My brothers and sisters, it truly felt good to stand up for what's right, and if I could go back and do it again, I probably would have set fire to the car as well. My only lingering question is: should I have beaten the woman as well, or should I have left that up to the man, like I did?
Posted via Mobile Device

I'm trying to get my brain around the vision of a Harley rider that drinks milkshakes and has a smartphone.

Yours in Christ,

Zechariah Smyth

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Righting a wrong

I'm trying to get my brain around the vision of a Harley rider that drinks milkshakes and has a smartphone.

Yours in Christ,

Zechariah Smyth

Think 1980's... think of the most disgusting musical group in the history of mankind.
Tell all women and children to leave the room now and get a bucket ready as you are going to need it. Everything in order, watch the video and note the kind of guy you were asking about.
Please remember Brother Smyth you did ask for clarification.

[Jerakk]

Re: Righting a wrong

I shouldn't have watched that video directly after breakfast.

[Bible Student]

Re: Righting a wrong

I shouldn't have watched that video directly after breakfast.

Brother Benedict did warn us to get a bucket. I've never known him to be wrong.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Righting a wrong

Think 1980's... think of the most disgusting musical group in the history of mankind.
Tell all women and children to leave the room now and get a bucket ready as you are going to need it. Everything in order, watch the video and note the kind of guy you were asking about.
Please remember Brother Smyth you did ask for clarification.

My goodness, I will never in a thousand years understand the biker culture.



I do appreciate your preparation advice.



YiC,

Z. Smyth

[Alphonse Alban]

Re: Righting a wrong

Think 1980's... think of the most disgusting musical group in the history of mankind.
Tell all women and children to leave the room now and get a bucket ready as you are going to need it. Everything in order, watch the video and note the kind of guy you were asking about.

I once were approached in local mall by very well spoken and well dressed polite young man. Despite his age, one could almost describe him as perfect gentleman.

He was very keen to convice me to join this local gym. And I have to say, it was convincing when described in detail how good it would be for me and my health to join this gym. He showed me pictures of all these machines and diagrams about how effective those machines would be for my fitness and well being. Mind you, in those pictures the machines were not full of gay injuns and dancing negras.

After I've now seen ACTUAL footage from inside of gym, I realize it was Jesus holding my credit card back and that young man was actually an advocate for Satan!

Praise the Lord that love of Christ saved me that day!