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  • Sidehugger
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Mar 2011
    • 3

    #1

    Hello Everyone

    Im not sure how I should introduce myself on this forum,but I know right now im nothing more than unsaved trash.But I would very much like to someday be more than this,and I hope with the love of God I will be good enough for this forum.
  • Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson
    Pastor of Praise and Worship
    A True Christian™ Straight Shooter
    True Christian™
    • Jul 2009
    • 3890

    #2
    Re: Hello Everyone

    Hello and welcome, friend.

    Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.
    Praise and worship with Pastor Will. Services at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.


    Contact me. pastorwillsampson at gmail.com

    Comment

    • Jesus is Lord
      Devout seeker of the Truth™
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 639

      #3
      Re: Hello Everyone

      Originally posted by Sidehugger View Post
      Im not sure how I should introduce myself on this forum,but I know right now im nothing more than unsaved trash.But I would very much like to someday be more than this,and I hope with the love of God I will be good enough for this forum.
      Welcome. Look right at the top of this thread and it tells you how to introduce yourself.

      What church do you attend, what is your favorite Bible verse (KJV only, please), and how did you come to find Jesus.
      The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
      Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
      sigpic

      Comment

      • Cursed
        Recovering Bastard
        Head of Landover Glee Club
        True Christian™
        • Jan 2011
        • 1363

        #4
        Re: Hello Everyone

        Originally posted by Sidehugger View Post
        Im not sure how I should introduce myself on this forum,but I know right now im nothing more than unsaved trash.But I would very much like to someday be more than this,and I hope with the love of God I will be good enough for this forum.
        Hello Ms. Sidehugger, and welcome to God's Favorite Forum!

        It took me years to be accepted as a True Christian; I am the lowest of the low, living proof that even the worst humanity has to offer can make it to Heaven if they serve GOD with all of their heart and submit to His Holy Will!

        If you are properly respectful, listen to your betters, and learn the Will of God as demonstrated in the 1611 King James Bible, you too can find the narrow gate to Heaven!
        The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12

        Comment

        • Faith_Machine
          Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Mar 2011
          • 10049

          #5
          Re: Hello Everyone

          Welcome friend, always glad to see another seeker of truth. I am a little concerned, however, about your user name. Presumably this is a reference to the concept of the "Christian side hug?"

          You're not one of those perverts who thinks he can go around rubbing up against women's bodies and get away with it just because he's doing it from the side, are you?

          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

          Comment

          • Rev. M. Rodimer
            Honorary True Christian™
            Forum Member
            • May 2008
            • 13996

            #6
            Re: Hello Everyone

            Originally posted by Sidehugger View Post
            Im not sure how I should introduce myself on this forum,but I know right now im nothing more than unsaved trash.But I would very much like to someday be more than this,and I hope with the love of God I will be good enough for this forum.
            I'm glad you're a side-hugger! Welcome!



            I for one look forward to the day when only married couples are permitted to front-hug, and had best be able to prove their marriage to the Paliban enforcers!
            Bible boring? Nonsense!
            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

            Comment

            • James Hutchins
              True Christian™
              Just a Regular Nice Guy
               
              • Jun 2009
              • 29435

              #7
              Re: Hello Everyone

              How many sons has your wife generated so far?
              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

              Comment

              • Faith_Machine
                Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                True Christian™
                • Mar 2011
                • 10049

                #8
                Re: Hello Everyone

                Reverend Rodimer, I question the purity and intentions of those rappers. If they were true servants of the Lord, would they have those young ladies dancing suggestively on stage with them? Wearing pants no less? What's wrong with a nice dress that comes down to the ankles and covers the arms down to the wrists?

                I certainly have no desire to hear more music from these "artists," but I'll bet their other "songs" would make it clear that these young people were no different from all the other rappers; hooligans reciting dirty limericks to glorify their criminal lifestyles.
                WARNING:
                In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                Comment

                • Rev. M. Rodimer
                  Honorary True Christian™
                  Forum Member
                  • May 2008
                  • 13996

                  #9
                  Re: Hello Everyone

                  Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                  Reverend Rodimer, I question the purity and intentions of those rappers. If they were true servants of the Lord, would they have those young ladies dancing suggestively on stage with them? Wearing pants no less? What's wrong with a nice dress that comes down to the ankles and covers the arms down to the wrists?
                  I believe they were trying to demonstrate the kind of harlot who would wish to seductively and lustfully front-hug a Godly True Christian(tm) in a sick attempt to tempt him into lust.

                  It isn't just wrong for a Christian man to front-hug his True Christian(tm) sisters; he must also not front-hug harlots, Wiccans, whores, and Democrats.

                  Wait . . . aren't those all the same thing?
                  Bible boring? Nonsense!
                  Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                  You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                  Comment

                  • Faith_Machine
                    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                    True Christian™
                    • Mar 2011
                    • 10049

                    #10
                    Re: Hello Everyone

                    Some harlots, whores, and Wiccans belong to the Green party or the Peace and Freedom party, I believe. Also, let's not forget the Communist party.
                    WARNING:
                    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                    Comment

                    • Rev. M. Rodimer
                      Honorary True Christian™
                      Forum Member
                      • May 2008
                      • 13996

                      #11
                      Re: Hello Everyone

                      Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                      Some harlots, whores, and Wiccans belong to the Green party or the Peace and Freedom party, I believe. Also, let's not forget the Communist party.
                      Good point, Sister. I sit corrected.
                      Bible boring? Nonsense!
                      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                      Comment

                      • Faith_Machine
                        Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                        True Christian™
                        • Mar 2011
                        • 10049

                        #12
                        Re: Hello Everyone

                        Reverend, I thought my posts had made it obvious that I was a male?
                        WARNING:
                        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                        Comment

                        • Billy Bob Jenkins
                          Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                          About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                          Hates anal sex. And trees.
                          True Christian™
                          • May 2010
                          • 8337

                          #13
                          Re: Hello Everyone

                          Front hugging is a form of sodomy where people rub their genitals together without intending to produce a child. Disgusting.
                          The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                          Comment

                          • Rev. M. Rodimer
                            Honorary True Christian™
                            Forum Member
                            • May 2008
                            • 13996

                            #14
                            Re: Hello Everyone

                            Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                            Good point, Mister. I sit corrected.
                            Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                            Reverend, I thought my posts had made it obvious that I was a male?
                            Er . . . that'd be why I called you . . . um, Mister, see?
                            Bible boring? Nonsense!
                            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                            Comment

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