Hello from a bride-to-be

[Ms. Victoria]

Hello, my name is Victoria. Next month I will be getting married and have come here for advice.
My fiance is the son of a Baptist preacher, but has been estranged from his family for a couple of years. My family isn't exactly a "wholesome" family (divorce, alcoholics, etc...) so we have come here to Landover Baptist.

Oh, and don't be surprised if some of my posts seem a little more "masculine", that just my fiance, Benjamin. It seems easier for us to be on the same account instead of waiting for both to be approved. (We realized this after I registered myself! With his approval, of course.)


Thank you,
Victoria

[Deaner]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

My family isn't exactly a "wholesome" family (divorce, alcoholics, etc...) so we have come here to Landover Baptist.

Ok, I'm a little confused here. Have you come to Landover for help or have you come to Landover because you think we're a bunch of drunk degenerates like your family?

[Ms. Victoria]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

Ok, I'm a little confused here. Have you come to Landover for help or have you come to Landover because you think we're a bunch of drunk degenerates like your family?

No, no, nothing like that! I just can't go to my family for any (good) advice because they're the drunk degenerates, not Landover!
I'm terribly sorry for the confusion.

[Deaner]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

No, no, nothing like that! I just can't go to my family for any (good) advice because they're the drunk degenerates, not Landover!
I'm terribly sorry for the confusion.

No problem; I was just trying to clarify. Did Benjamin leave his family because they were always making fun of his name? You know, calling him things like "Benji" or "Benny the girlie man"? It's not his fault his parents gave him a funny name. You both have to realize this before you can have a happy marriage. It's probably one of the main reasons you guys suck on the juice so much. It's called unresolved childhood conflict.

[Ms. Victoria]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

No problem; I was just trying to clarify. Did Benjamin leave his family because they were always making fun of his name? You know, calling him things like "Benji" or "Benny the girlie man"? It's not his fault his parents gave him a funny name. You both have to realize this before you can have a happy marriage. It's probably one of the main reasons you guys suck on the juice so much. It's called unresolved childhood conflict.

I'm not sure why he is estranged from his family. From what I can understand, it was a major disagreement between him and his dad. He doesn't like to talk about it.

His friends call him Benji, but it's not because they're making fun of him, it's just easier to call him by his nickname. (We actually looked up the meaning of his name and it said "the right hand of God". We were both happy about that)

I don't drink and I promised myself that I never will. Ben only drinks champaign on special occasions.(weddings, birthdays, etc...)

I don't think my family has unresolved childhood issues, I think they just got carried away with the "social drinking".

[VictoryOS]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

Welcome to the Holiest Corner of the Web, Sister Victoria! We almost have the same name. People are going to think we're twins!

You've come to the right place for good, Jesus-approved advice. Clearly the Good Lord has seen fit to bring you here. As you can see, I'm also a female. But we have plenty men around here who can help us out with the problems that prove to be too complex for us. Please don't be shy about asking us questions. We're here to help and to guide you on your way to Salvation.

You say your future husband doesn't like to talk about the falling out he had with his father. That makes me fear that there may have been some molestation issues in the past. Sometimes this kind of history can lead a man to homosexualitism. I hope this doesn't happen in your case! See if maybe you can needle and nag him into telling you what happened so we can help you determine if he is suitable husband material.

We're looking forward to hearing more about you and your future husband. You plan to have lots of children, right?

[SadSightSeer]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

A warm welcome to the only place on the internet where humans make Jesus smile.

Now as for your troublesome future husband who apparently departed the righteous way that his father, I hope, undoubtfuly proclaimed, there can be indeed a worrying signal that the demonic aspect of homosexuality might have touched him in the past or maybe even now he struggles with the shadows. In my opinion Salvation can only be achieved through revealing the truth. So I think you should ask him for full confessions to you before marying him because, mark my words: between a man and his woman there should be no lies or hidden truth!

And also, mind you, a very obvious sign of homosexuality is engaging in intercourse positions that are against the normal embrace between a man and the women given to him! Please reffer to us if such transgressions have been made for further advice that our wise Pastors can give.

Amen!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

Excuse me, but are you some sort of man-hating feminazi, Ms. Victoria? You aren't married yet, so your proper title is "Miss Victoria". Anything else , and you might as well put on a pair of trousers and cut your hair short.

[Cheshire]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

o_0


Were they Christian drunks? or do you just like insulting them?

Or were they Godless unsaved jerks.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

Were they Christian drunks? or do you just like insulting them?

Good point, and I swear I'm not trying to flatter you.

The Bible has nothing against being drunk. It's drunken revelery - enjoying yourself while being drunk - that is sinful.

When I drink to block out the misery and futility and horrors of bring peace and democracy to the Middle East and causing the Arab Spring as our example of freedom and democracy spreads because the surge is working and we're turning the corner because the lights at the end of the tunnel and everything is so great because we've been welcomed as liberators and the troublemaking of a few Iranian dead-enders has been exagerated and freedom is on the march

I'm not reveling. Therefore it's not sinful. End of story.

[Ms. Victoria]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

A warm welcome to the only place on the internet where humans make Jesus smile.

Now as for your troublesome future husband who apparently departed the righteous way that his father, I hope, undoubtfuly proclaimed, there can be indeed a worrying signal that the demonic aspect of homosexuality might have touched him in the past or maybe even now he struggles with the shadows. In my opinion Salvation can only be achieved through revealing the truth. So I think you should ask him for full confessions to you before marying him because, mark my words: between a man and his woman there should be no lies or hidden truth!

And also, mind you, a very obvious sign of homosexuality is engaging in intercourse positions that are against the normal embrace between a man and the women given to him! Please reffer to us if such transgressions have been made for further advice that our wise Pastors can give.

Amen!

This is Ben, Victoria's future husband, and I am NOT a homo! I am 100% against that!
Everytime my family walked by the local pool on our way home from church I always caught my father looking a little too closely at the boys, although he denies it to this day.

Excuse me, but are you some sort of man-hating feminazi, Ms. Victoria? You aren't married yet, so your proper title is "Miss Victoria". Anything else , and you might as well put on a pair of trousers and cut your hair short.

But, after we are married, having the title of "Miss" would not be entirely appropriate, either.

The Bible has nothing against being drunk. It's drunken revelery - enjoying yourself while being drunk - that is sinful.

I've met her family. Believe me- they reveled!

Praise Jesus,
Ben

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

This is Ben, Victoria's future husband, and I am NOT a homo! I am 100% against that!

If you're not a homo, why do let your fiancee call herself Ms?

[Ms. Victoria]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

If you're not a homo, why do let your fiancee call herself Ms?

Because Mrs would be inappropriate for an unmarried woman and Miss would be inappropriate after we are married.

Praise Jesus,
Ben

[SadSightSeer]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

Because Mrs would be inappropriate for an unmarried woman and Miss would be inappropriate after we are married.

Praise Jesus,
Ben

So Brother's Temperance's assumption that you are a homosexual is wrong? Do you believe him than to be unwitty? Lacking proper judgement? How dare you imply that?!


GLORY TO GOD!!

[Larry Lee]

Re: Hello from a bride-to-be

You know, Ben and Miss Victoria, let's talk frankly. The warning signs for a troubled relationship practically explode in my face with every sentence you write. I mean, we've got drunks, Christian apostasy, feminazism, incipient homersexuality -- And verrrry little indication of remorse. Why don't you just lay it all out on the table and, on top of everything else, confess to your furniture-breaking abandonment of Godly purity. That way, the other Pastors and I will at least know how to best advise you in resurrecting your shattered lives.