Good Tidings, True Christians!

[Brother Dani3l]

Hello Fellow Christians,

My name is Daniel. I was raised Pentecostal, and now attend our very own Landover Baptist Church. My favourite Scripture is Deuteronomy 14:21, wherein Jehovah speaks with a merciful and generous wisdom that only the One True God could possess:

"You shall not eat of anything that dies of itself: you shall give it to the stranger that is in your gates, that he may eat it; or you may sell it to an alien: for you are an holy people to the LORD your God. You shall not seethe a kid in his mother's milk."

I, like many, had the good fortune of not having to "find" Jesus... He found me. I was very fortunate to not have to choose my faith, lest I should be led astray.

Hallelujah!

[Jedediah]

Re: Good Tidings, True Christians!

You do not attend our church. God hates liars.

Proverbs 6:16-19
These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

Now tell us who you really are and how you came to place such distance between yourself and your Creator.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Good Tidings, True Christians!

Yes, and furthermore, if you were an actual member (which you aren't...all members are listed in our database, along with IP addresses) you would be quoting from the AV1611 King James Version, which you aren't.

So why the deception from the beginning? What is your agenda?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Good Tidings, True Christians!

Hello Fellow Christians,

My name is Daniel. I was raised Pentecostal, and now attend our very own Landover Baptist Church.

Am I to understand you've started your own church, and infringed upon Landover's copyright by stealing the name?

That's very poor form, Dani.

Why is there a 3 in your name? Are you one of those 733+ardz? Or is it short for DaniLLL?

Are you a crossdresser, then? "Brother Danielle"?

I have a bad feeling about all this.

[Brother Dani3l]

Re: Good Tidings, True Christians!

Brothers in The Lord,

I've come to beg your forgiveness. In haste, and out of a weakness of the flesh, I've stained these pages with text from an adulterated "version" of The Word. To give proper glory my entry should have looked like this:

14:21 Ye shall not eat of anything that dieth of itself: thou shalt give it unto the stranger that is in thy gates, that he may eat it; or thou mayest sell it unto an alien: for thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk.

I can only hope that you will find it in your hearts to forgive my transgression. I spent some time on bended knee this afternoon at the altar, clinging to that Old Rugged Cross, and repenting my sins. How merciful Our Lord, to accept the prayers of such a wretch as I. After receiving the anointing, I decided to pray over the church membership book, and thank The Lord for such wonderful new friends. I'm sure there's been some mistake, but I couldn't find any of the people here in the membership pages!!! I'm sure that my fine Brethren in The Lord have come into the same stumbling block I encountered yesterday, and that this will clear itself up. Upon registering here at the Landover Hills Baptist Church forums, I wanted to use my God-given name. Unfortunately, the Good Lord has blessed us with so many fine Brothers and Sisters, that "Brother Daniel" had already been taken. I'm sure you've all resorted, as I have, to using pseudonyms on the forums! What fun! I'm looking forward to placing names to faces this Sunday!!!

Basking in the joy of our fellowship,
Daniel

http://www.lhbcmd.org/

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Good Tidings, True Christians!

Brothers in The Lord,

I've come to beg your forgiveness. In haste, and out of a weakness of the flesh, I've stained these pages with text from an adulterated "version" of The Word. To give proper glory my entry should have looked like this:

14:21 Ye shall not eat of anything that dieth of itself: thou shalt give it unto the stranger that is in thy gates, that he may eat it; or thou mayest sell it unto an alien: for thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk.

You eat Roadkill? I knew people from Ontario were weird, but wow.

I can only hope that you will find it in your hearts to forgive my transgression. I spent some time on bended knee this afternoon at the altar, clinging to that Old Rugged Cross, and repenting my sins. How merciful Our Lord, to accept the prayers of such a wretch as I. After receiving the anointing, I decided to pray over the church membership book, and thank The Lord for such wonderful new friends. I'm sure there's been some mistake, but I couldn't find any of the people here in the membership pages!!! I'm sure that my fine Brethren in The Lord have come into the same stumbling block I encountered yesterday, and that this will clear itself up. Upon registering here at the Landover Hills Baptist Church forums, I wanted to use my God-given name. Unfortunately, the Good Lord has blessed us with so many fine Brothers and Sisters, that "Brother Daniel" had already been taken. I'm sure you've all resorted, as I have, to using pseudonyms on the forums! What fun! I'm looking forward to placing names to faces this Sunday!!!

Basking in the joy of our fellowship,
Daniel
http://www.lhbcmd.org/

You live in Ontario but go to a church in Maryland? Are you even cpaable of telling the truth?

[Brother Dani3l]

Re: Good Tidings, True Christians!

Sister BelieverInGod,

I believe the autocomplete feature of this computer must have answered the "location" section for me, or the Devil was at work. While you have my gratitude for pointing out the error, I hope you won't find me too bold as to say, that judgement of a man is an overstepping of your boundaries. 1 Timothy 2 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

There's no need to make a fuss, you're already forgiven.

Your Brother in The Lord,
Brother Daniel

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Good Tidings, True Christians!

Sister BelieverInGod,

I believe the autocomplete feature of this computer must have answered the "location" section for me, or the Devil was at work. While you have my gratitude for pointing out the error, I hope you won't find me too bold as to say, that judgement of a man is an overstepping of your boundaries. 1 Timothy 2 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

There's no need to make a fuss, you're already forgiven.

Your Brother in The Lord,
Brother Daniel

You'd better watch your tone with the True Christian™ women of this forum, boy. You are Unsaved Trash until you can prove otherwise (and the chances of that are looking about as hopeful as Obama producing a legitimate birth certificate), and as such you will extend the utmost courtesy to all True Christians™, regardless of gender.

I'd suggest that you apologize to BIG immediately, and it better be sincere.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: Good Tidings, True Christians!

Sister BelieverInGod,

I hope you won't find me too bold as to say, that judgement of a man is an overstepping of your boundaries. 1 Timothy 2 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

I will find you so bold. One True Christian Woman is worth thousands upon thousands of unsaved trash. Have a look for yourself.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Good Tidings, True Christians!

Sister BelieverInGod,

I believe the autocomplete feature of this computer must have answered the "location" section for me, or the Devil was at work. While you have my gratitude for pointing out the error, I hope you won't find me too bold as to say, that judgement of a man is an overstepping of your boundaries. 1 Timothy 2 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

There's no need to make a fuss, you're already forgiven.

Your Brother in The Lord,
Brother Daniel

Oh, I always love when the unsaved trash pull that one out. Means that they're afraid of women and that they can't answer my comments.

I do thank my kind Brothers for standing up for my honor. Perhaps you could learn how True Christian(TM) men act by watching them. They are truthful and honorable, two things I find completely lacking in you.

You're a lying Canukistan, we know you're a lying Canukistan. All Canukistans are liars, especially the ones from Ontario. Now go back to your igloo and your dog.

[wait_what]

Re: Good Tidings, True Christians!

What is this place that he speaks of?

Taken from their website:

About LHBC

We’d love to have you join us on Sunday at either our 9:30 for Sunday School or 10:45 a.m. for Worship Service. Here’s what you’ll find:

"A diverse and international church. You’ll see people of all ages, nations, cultures, and backgrounds, But the gospel of Jesus Christ makes us one family.

Friendly people. We’d love to meet you, so feel free to introduce yourself. Please let us know what we can do to care for you while you’re here.

A relaxed atmosphere. You’ll notice some folks who like to dress up for church and others who don’t. Feel free to wear what’s comfortable for you, and you’ll fit right in.

Passionate worshipers. Our services include both traditional and contemporary music and preaching from the Bible"

Based on the first line, it seems like a veritable Babylon.

They even have a messican congregation. I do not know what to say of this usurping of the fine name of the LBC. Granted, they call it the LHBC, it is too close. I think one of the Church's legal specialists should look into this infringement. I mean the True Christian LBC, has been guaranteeing salvation since 1620. I highly doubt the phony one can make that claim.

I think this young man came here mistakenly.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Good Tidings, True Christians!

What is this place that he speaks of?

Taken from their website:

About LHBC

We’d love to have you join us on Sunday at either our 9:30 for Sunday School or 10:45 a.m. for Worship Service. Here’s what you’ll find:

"A diverse and international church. You’ll see people of all ages, nations, cultures, and backgrounds, But the gospel of Jesus Christ makes us one family.

Friendly people. We’d love to meet you, so feel free to introduce yourself. Please let us know what we can do to care for you while you’re here.

A relaxed atmosphere. You’ll notice some folks who like to dress up for church and others who don’t. Feel free to wear what’s comfortable for you, and you’ll fit right in.

Passionate worshipers. Our services include both traditional and contemporary music and preaching from the Bible"

Based on the first line, it seems like a veritable Babylon.

They even have a messican congregation. I do not know what to say of this usurping of the fine name of the LBC. Granted, they call it the LHBC, it is too close. I think one of the Church's legal specialists should look into this infringement. I mean the True Christian LBC, has been guaranteeing salvation since 1620. I highly doubt the phony one can make that claim.

I think this young man came here mistakenly.

Hold it, he was telling me to be silent, yet "his" church supports the "women of faith" movement, which openly accepts women preachers?

And read the Pastors Page

• Previously having work for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and Luis Palau Evangelistic Association as a Crusade Director.
• Bonnie Draper Youth Director
  , no husband, no children, she's too busy with her "career"