Salutations! Also, one question.

[Dezire]

Hello, I'm Dezire!

I have one question for the brothers & sisters of the oh-so amazing Landover Baptist Church Forum:

What do I do?

Both my parents are men, & yes they are homosexuals, I never knew my mom, & I've been told I'm adopted. How do I rid of these bad spirits in this house?

[Felicity]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

Men cannot get children!

[wait_what]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

Hello, I'm Dezire!

I have one question for the brothers & sisters of the oh-so amazing Landover Baptist Church Forum:

What do I do?

Both my parents are men, & yes they are homosexuals, I never knew my mom, & I've been told I'm adopted. How do I rid of these bad spirits in this house?

That is easy.

Step 1. Read your Bible KJV 1611 only.

Step 2. Get Saved

Step 3. Get married to a True Christian man. If you are old enough to use the internet you should be shooting boys from your lady parts like pitching machine in the Sammy Sosa's "for the fans" pregame show.

Problem solved, you can abandon those femmy heathens, and they will never know it since they will be busy fellating each other while you leave.

[LeftWinger]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

Grab a hardback copy of the bible. Beat them senseless. Once you have faith you endure all pain!

[Dezire]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

That is easy.

Step 1. Read your Bible KJV 1611 only.

Step 2. Get Saved

Step 3. Get married to a True Christian man. If you are old enough to use the internet you should be shooting boys from your lady parts like pitching machine in the Sammy Sosa's "for the fans" pregame show.

Problem solved, you can abandon those femmy heathens, and they will never know it since they will be busy fellating each other while you leave.

Why must you imply that I'm a women?

[wait_what]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

Why must you imply that I'm a women?

Your name. It looks like a woman's.

If you are a man, then man up and punch those two pillow biters til they are straight.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

Both my parents are men, & yes they are homosexuals, I never knew my mom, & I've been told I'm adopted.

Listen girl, these are not your parents as men cannot get children. Just ask your pastor for a Christian family to adopt you instead. How good are you at cooking and cleaning?

[Dezire]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

Your name. It looks like a woman's.

If you are a man, then man up and punch those two pillow biters til they are straight.

May I ask why you have a problem with homosexuality?

I was just wanting to know how to make it seem like they weren't 'hitting' on me as much, as I'm their 'son'.

[Dutch Girl]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

Here you say homosexuals are bad spirits:

Both my parents are men, & yes they are homosexuals, I never knew my mom, & I've been told I'm adopted. How do I rid of these bad spirits in this house?

And suddenly here you make hating homosexuals seem like a bad thing:

May I ask why you have a problem with homosexuality?

I am bisexual myself, so I can assure you there is nothing wrong with homosexuality .

Or are you here to make fun of Christians? They might be Bible crazy, but they are not crazy crazy, so trying to fool them is a waste of your time.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

May I ask why you have a problem with homosexuality?

I was just wanting to know how to make it seem like they weren't 'hitting' on me as much, as I'm their 'son'.

As pointed out before, you are not their son, you seem to enjoy it, so look at it this way, you'll get to enjoy it for all eternity in Hell.

Have fun sinner

[wait_what]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

May I ask why you have a problem with homosexuality?

I was just wanting to know how to make it seem like they weren't 'hitting' on me as much, as I'm their 'son'.

The answer is simple. Punch those poo-stabbing homers til they are straight. Then find your mom and see if she will take your dad back. Which one is your real dad?

Their blatant lies and attempts to sodomize an innocent young boy such as yourself just so they can give you AIDS is why I have a problem with them.

Obviously they lied to you:





If you need advice on how to punch a pole smoking log jamming pedophilic Aids bag then read this great book!




This fine young man learned his lesson. He got hit so hard it changed his genetics and now he wants to reproduce with a real woman.




This one is well on his way. We will see what happens when he relearns American. If he answers correctly he can go home and find a wife.

[wait_what]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

I am bisexual myself, so I can assure you there is nothing wrong with homosexuality .

If only they had mirrors in Amsterdam, then you would see what we see. Then maybe you could earn your salvation through bearing sons. I will pray for you. One day.

Seems such a waste to have such ample child bearing hips go to waste on a carpet munching yeast licking lezbean witch whore.

[Dezire]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

The answer is simple. Punch those poo-stabbing homers til they are straight. Then find your mom and see if she will take your dad back. Which one is your real dad?

Their blatant lies and attempts to sodomize an innocent young boy such as yourself just so they can give you AIDS is why I have a problem with them.

Obviously they lied to you:





If you need advice on how to punch a pole smoking log jamming pedophilic Aids bag then read this great book!




This fine young man learned his lesson. He got hit so hard it changed his genetics and now he wants to reproduce with a real woman.




This one is well on his way. We will see what happens when he relearns American. If he answers correctly he can go home and find a wife.

You're all fucked up.

God does not care if you're homosexual, straight, bisexual, bicurious. He will accept anyone, as long as their willing to have him in their heart.

Now if you'd please infract me for speaking the truth.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

You're all piffleed up.

God does not care if you're homosexual, straight, bisexual, bicurious. He will accept anyone, as long as their willing to have him in their heart.

Now if you'd please infract me for speaking the truth.

Because that's what the Bible says right?

Genesis 19:5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them. (And we all know what God did to Sodom)

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Deuteronomy 23:17 There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel.

1 Kings 14:24 And there were also sodomites in the land: and they did according to all the abominations of the nations which the LORD cast out before the children of Israel.

15:11-12 And Asa did that which was right in the eyes of the LORD, as did David his father. And he took away the sodomites out of the land, and removed all the idols that his fathers had made.

22:45-46 Now the rest of the acts of Jehoshaphat, and his might that he shewed, and how he warred, are they not written in the book of the chronicles of the kings of Judah? 22:46 And the remnant of the sodomites, which remained in the days of his father Asa, he took out of the land.

2 Kings 23:7 And he[Josiah] brake down the houses of the sodomites, that were by the house of the LORD, where the women wove hangings for the grove.

Isaiah 3:9 The shew of their countenance doth witness against them; and they declare their sin as Sodom, they hide it not. Woe unto their soul! for they have rewarded evil unto themselves.

Daniel 11:37 Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all. (some believe this says the Antichrist will be gay)

Romans 1:27-31 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

1 Corintians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

1 Timothy 1:10 For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;

Jude 7 Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

[wait_what]

Re: Salutations! Also, one question.

Because that's what the Bible says right?

Genesis 19:5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them. (And we all know what God did to Sodom)

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Deuteronomy 23:17 There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel.

1 Kings 14:24 And there were also sodomites in the land: and they did according to all the abominations of the nations which the LORD cast out before the children of Israel.

15:11-12 And Asa did that which was right in the eyes of the LORD, as did David his father. And he took away the sodomites out of the land, and removed all the idols that his fathers had made.

22:45-46 Now the rest of the acts of Jehoshaphat, and his might that he shewed, and how he warred, are they not written in the book of the chronicles of the kings of Judah? 22:46 And the remnant of the sodomites, which remained in the days of his father Asa, he took out of the land.

2 Kings 23:7 And he[Josiah] brake down the houses of the sodomites, that were by the house of the LORD, where the women wove hangings for the grove.

Isaiah 3:9 The shew of their countenance doth witness against them; and they declare their sin as Sodom, they hide it not. Woe unto their soul! for they have rewarded evil unto themselves.

Daniel 11:37 Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all. (some believe this says the Antichrist will be gay)

Romans 1:27-31 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

1 Corintians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

1 Timothy 1:10 For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;

Jude 7 Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

Sister BelieverInGod,

Your scriptural prowess is impressive. You said everything I was getting ready to say and more. You are a testament to your husband, your father, and your pastor. Thank you.