Hello

[Link_TM]

Hello friends, I am joining this forum today for a few reasons. I have been a life-long activist, but I'm concerned with my health. i believe the devil has been trying to do away with me, seeing as I'm of no use to him any more. So, I came here to try and convert and repent from my evil ways. It's easy, and the temptation to obey the devil is strong. I hope you can help.

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: Hello

Here's my Salvation in four easy steps program.

1. Read the King James Bible from cover to cover. If you can't read the King James, read the NASB while parallel reading the KJV until it makes sense.

2. I want you to bow your head and pray the sinners' prayer. Something like this will do as a start.

Dear Lord in Heaven, I know that I have sinned against you and I am not worthy to lick Your sandal strap. My evil thoughts and feelings separate me from You. I beseech You to forgive this worthless sinner. Please don't strike me dead here and now. I humbly beg you to help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ who is You, died temporarily for my sins. He was raised from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayers. I beg Jesus/You to become my Savior and the Lord of my life, to imprint Your Word into my mind so I don't have to think anymore. Please send your Holy Spirit to make me obey You and to make me feel guilty when I sin. My greatest purpose in life is to follow your example even though that's impossible, as you never sinned and I am lower than a dung beetle. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

3. Set up a generous tithing agreement with a True Christian™ church. The Lord loves a cheerful giver. I can't stress this part enough.

4. You will need to be Baptized by a True Christian™ Pastor. This can all be accomplished for a nominal fee. You could get it done for free from someone you don't know is Saved® or not. In such case, your Salvation™ is not guaranteed.

[Link_TM]

Re: Hello

3. Set up a generous tithing agreement with a True Christian™ church. The Lord loves a cheerful giver. I can't stress this part enough.

I will do whatever I can, but I don't understand that third step. Will you please explain?

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: Hello

I will do whatever I can, but I don't understand that third step. Will you please explain?

Tithe to your church. Give us them money.

Don't rob God, son!!

Malachi 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

[Link_TM]

Re: Hello

Tithe to your church. Give us them money.

Don't rob God, son!!

Malachi 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

So, I need to find good, Christian church, and give them money to pay for my sins? Is that the gist of it?

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: Hello

So, I need to find good, Christian church, and give them money to pay for my sins? Is that the gist of it?

No

1. Read the Bible.
2. Pray prayer for forgiveness.
3. Join church. Contribute money for ministry.
4. Get baptized.
5. Heaven!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Hello

So, I need to find good, Christian church, and give them money to pay for my sins? Is that the gist of it?

No, that was the old Catholic indulgence system. Those who invented it are all burning in Hell.

You have to stop sinning and pay at least 10% of your income to the Church. It's called tithing. For more details see Leviticus 27:30, Numbers 18:26, Deuteronomy 14:24 and 2 Chronicles 31:5.

[Link_TM]

Re: Hello

No

1. Read the Bible.
2. Pray prayer for forgiveness.
3. Join church. Contribute money for ministry.
4. Get baptised.
5. Heaven!

Alright; what sorts of churches should I look for? I've never done anything except hang out in the basement doing old... atheist... things. But that's behind me. What should I look for in a church? And where will the money I contribute go?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Hello

Alright; what sorts of churches should I look for? I've never done anything except hang out in the basement doing old... atheist... things. But that's behind me. What should I look for in a church?

Ask if they use the KJV 1611 Holy Bible. If not go look for the next one. And don't be shy, if the nearest proper Church is 1000 miles away, so be it.

And where will the money I contribute go?

That's irrelevant. Just Tithe!

[Richard Bancroft]

Re: Hello

And where will the money I contribute go?

Your money will go where God tells the Pastors it should go, do you feel you should question the will of God?

These days far to much emphasis is put on what they call "transparency" I KNOW the Pastors are men of God, I KNOW God will guide them, I DO NOT need detailed accounts of what they have done with every single cent that has been donated to do God's will.