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I am new to this forum and I think I shall have a lot to post! 
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
How many sons have you produced for Jesus?
What is your husbands favorite pie?
What cleaning product do you find removes stains best?Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. -
Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
That wasn't much of an introduction. Also, why do you have a cartoon that mocks God as your avatar image?WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.Comment
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
I have produced sixteen sons thusfar for Jesus and one daughter. My husband is not partial to pie because he dislikes the flakiness of crust, but he does enjoy the peach cobbler I make him sometimes. I use a mixture of vinegar, arsenic, and my own spit to remove stains from my family's carpet -- and it works like a charm!Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
And I don't think my avatar mocks god -- I believe God is ALWAYS angry.Comment
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
Which church does your husband take you to?
If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.
If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.
You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.
Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
16 sons and 1 daughter!? That's quite a lot for a 17-year-old.Originally posted by Go_Away_Sinners! View Post
Why don't you try telling the truth for once.
Matthew 9:12-13
(12) But when Jesus heard [that], he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.
(13) But go ye and learn what [that] meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.Comment
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
Where do you get your arsenic?Originally posted by Go_Away_Sinners! View Post
Yours in Christ,
Z. SmythsigpicComment
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
I was married at 11 and have produced three pairs of quadruplets and one pair of triplets thusfar. And there's a lovely man on the corner who provides me with arsenic -- I wish I could refer you to him but he won't tell me his real name.Originally posted by Kristin Marlow View Post16 sons and 1 daughter!? That's quite a lot for a 17-year-old.
Why don't you try telling the truth for once.
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
Originally posted by Go_Away_Sinners! View PostI was married at 11 and have produced three pairs of quadruplets and one pair of triplets thusfar. And there's a lovely man on the corner who provides me with arsenic -- I wish I could refer you to him but he won't tell me his real name.
Your math is...interesting.
i don't need the old boy's name: just give me his address and I'll look him up.
YiC,
Z. SmythsigpicComment
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
I have two other children, but both are fetal and twins (as soon as I can start my own threads I have a very pressing question regarding them). So a total of 17.
Arsenic-Soldier, as I refer to him, seems to be homeless, but I often find him wandering near my local Holiday gas station. Hope that helps!
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
Blasphemy! Lying in front of God Our Savior on His Special Day(c).
I thought I smelled a stench, it was not until Jesus's robes ruffled that the winds I recognized the putrid smell of sulfurous brimstone fumes which burned my nostril hairs. A minion of the Devil himself, come to lure us into temptation and shame.Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
I assure you, good sir, I come not in attempt to lie or to mislead others. I have come to this community in search of other god-fearing Christians who devote their lives to the good word, and maybe to pick up some pie recipes or homeschooling tips in the process of getting to know fine people like yourself. May the Lord shine upon you with His gaze serene and free of malice.Comment
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
3 pairs of quadruplets, 1 pair of triplets plus 2 others equals 32 children, not 17.
Are you snorting the reefer?
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
If so, please stop wasting it.Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post...Are you snorting the reefer?
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Re: Greetings Fellow God-Fearers!
Nay, I am a clean teen! I meant that I have twelve quadruplets from three separate births and three triplets from the same birth, and a pair of twins on the way. My holy god would never wish me to become contaminated with unholy hippie leaves.Comment
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