[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Hi

You might recall that your heretical cult is messing with the Holy Spirit. We, Baptists worship the LORD while you handle snakes and speak in tongues!

...Also, I recall that Catholics, which you also call a cult, believes in the same Holy Trinity that you do...

The catlick’s trinity does NOT equal to the Holy Spirit that you blasphemously replaced with “Onanist” - or something else unspeakable. I knew you will deny that your women are committing lewd deeds with snakes, because deep inside you know it’s a sin!

Leviticus 20:16 And if a woman approach unto any beast and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman and the beast. They shall surely be put to death: their blood shall be upon them.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Hi

(possibly criminal animal cruelty confession snipped)... As for speaking in tongues:

1 Corinthians 12:8-11
8For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;
9To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;
10To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues:...

It occurs to me that speaking in tongues is the only "gift" in that list that's easily faked.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Hi

It occurs to me that speaking in tongues is the only "gift" in that list that's easily faked.

I heard once a drunken, toothless bum “speaking in tongues”; I guess he was grubbing for booze-money; it didn’t work.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hi

You haven't really introduced yourself. Does your father know you're posting here, or your husband? What false Christian church do you attend?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[RandomDude]

Re: Hi

1 Corinthians 13:8-10

8Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

I love how you used that scripture out of context. Also, you quoted verse 8, but left out part of it, "Love never ends;".

Anywho, I've grown tired of this troll forum. I will pray for you in hopes that your eyes shall be open. I will also think of you every time I shoot one of them slithering devils you think we associate ourselves with. Peace out.

[Zechariah Smyth]

I love how you used that scripture out of context. Also, you quoted verse 8, but left out part of it, "Love never ends;".

Anywho, I've grown tired of this troll forum. I will pray for you in hopes that your eyes shall be open. I will also think of you every time I shoot one of them slithering devils you think we associate ourselves with. Peace out.

The phrase "Love never ends" does not appear ANYWHERE in the KJV Bible.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
Posted via Mobile Device

[Bible Student]

Re: Hi

Originally Posted by RandomDude
I love how you used that scripture out of context. Also, you quoted verse 8, but left out part of it, "Love never ends;".

Anywho, I've grown tired of this troll forum. I will pray for you in hopes that your eyes shall be open. I will also think of you every time I shoot one of them slithering devils you think we associate ourselves with. Peace out.

The phrase "Love never ends" does not appear ANYWHERE in the KJV Bible.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
Posted via Mobile Device

Unfortunately Dudette is using one of those false translations, and several of them do indeed translate I Corinthians 13:8 as "Love never ends.", if you can believe it. And therein lies the danger of using heathen bibles instead of the 1611 King James Bible.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hi

I love how you used that scripture out of context. Also, you quoted verse 8, but left out part of it, "Love never ends;".

Not in my Bible. Please explain what you think said scripture means in the correct context.

Anywho, I've grown tired of this troll forum. I will pray for you in hopes that your eyes shall be open. I will also think of you every time I shoot one of them slithering devils you think we associate ourselves with.

Is that a reference to the sin of self-love? How distasteful.

Unfortunately Dudette is using one of those false translations, and several of them do indeed translate I Corinthians 13:8 as "Love never ends.", if you can believe it. And therein lies the danger of using heathen bibles instead of the 1611 King James Bible.

Of all the filthy outrages that Satan has committed against Our Lord's blessed words, sneaking a bit of mangled rubbish from some forgotten late-90s British pop bands in there has to be among the worst.

Does any of that sound like the Lord's Wisdom to you? Me neither!

[Deaner]

Re: Hi

Does any of that sound like the Lord's Wisdom to you? Me neither!

I'm sorry Brother Temperance. I usually read your posts with a great deal of anticipation. Unfortunately I couldn't make it to the second song as vomit was spewing everywhere and I had to clean it up before it ooozed into my keyboard.

Who was the blonde they called "Baby Spice"? Is that a spice that makes a 45 year old woman try to look younger and fat?

[Didymus Much]

Re: Hi

...I will also think of you every time I shoot one of them slithering devils you think we associate ourselves with...

"Slithering devils"?

I'm sorry, that was inappropriate. I really shouldn't laugh at your ignorance, but it's hard not to.

Snakes eat vermin (rats, mice, etc.) that not only consume food meant for humans, they also spread disease. If you remove this natural population control mechanism, you get less food and more disease.

Of course, once religion gets involved, with all decisions being made based on the "evidence" of some Bronze Age cave dweller's knowledge of science, then you get cats being identified and pilloried as "witches' familiars". This leads to such joyful outcomes as the Black Death, which killed about 1/3 of the population of Europe.

I guess my question to you could be phrased: Why does your God want people to die of the bubonic plague?

[Bible Student]

Re: Hi

"Slithering devils"?

I'm sorry, that was inappropriate. I really shouldn't laugh at your ignorance, but it's hard not to.

Snakes eat vermin (rats, mice, etc.) that not only consume food meant for humans, they also spread disease. If you remove this natural population control mechanism, you get less food and more disease.

Of course, once religion gets involved, with all decisions being made based on the "evidence" of some Bronze Age cave dweller's knowledge of science, then you get cats being identified and pilloried as "witches' familiars". This leads to such joyful outcomes as the Black Death, which killed about 1/3 of the population of Europe.

I guess my question to you could be phrased: Why does your God want people to die of the bubonic plague?

The answer should be obvious. The lesson is repeated continually in the 1611 King James Bible. Obviously God wanted to punish them for some sins. Apparently they were a wanton, lascivious people.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hi

I'm sorry Brother Temperance. I usually read your posts with a great deal of anticipation. Unfortunately I couldn't make it to the second song as vomit was spewing everywhere and I had to clean it up before it ooozed into my keyboard.

Who was the blonde they called "Baby Spice"? Is that a spice that makes a 45 year old woman try to look younger and fat?

I don't know, but apparently Pentecostals want to put her in the Bible. Snake-handling freaks!

[RandomDude]

Re: Hi

Unfortunately Dudette is using one of those false translations, and several of them do indeed translate I Corinthians 13:8 as "Love never ends.", if you can believe it. And therein lies the danger of using heathen bibles instead of the 1611 King James Bible.

http://thesaurus.com/browse/charity Love is a synonym of Charity. Derp.


My prayers have not yet been answered, since the forum and all its local idiots are still here. I will continue praying for you all!

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hi

http://thesaurus.com/browse/charity Love is a synonym of Charity. Derp.


My prayers have not yet been answered, since the forum and all its local idiots are still here. I will continue praying for you all!

Please tell me if you've ever uttered these phrases:

- "I charity you."

- "I donated (random amount of money) to love last year."

- "God charities me!!!!!"

Be honest.

YiC,

Z. Smyth

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: Hi

http://thesaurus.com/browse/charity Love is a synonym of Charity. Derp.

If God meant 'love', He would have written 'love'. God is not ambiguous; what he means to say, he says.