Hello, Friends

[Eldred Jonas]

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Reverend Eldred Jonas of the Church of God the Jealous and Wrathful. I retired in the Year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and sixty-four after a band of Godless Negroidals burned my church to the ground, but I have held daily fellowship in my home with a few of my former flock.

I found Jesus in the Year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and eighteen. When my father was killed in France while fighting the Kaiser in the Great War, my mother could no longer support my thirteen brothers and me, and the eldest six of us were forced to leave and find work where we could. I worked on a tobacco plantation for a minister, who taught me ciphering from the Bible and eventually took me into his home. In nineteen hundred and twenty-three, I was married to his daughter, a God-fearing woman who died in childbirth while bearing our eleventh son. I count myself blessed that God did not curse me with daughters.

I built my church with my own hands after coming home from fighting the nips at Iwo Jima in nineteen and forty five, and preached there until the Negroidals laid waste to my life's work.

I love all of God's Holy Words, but what gives me the most strength and comfort is Isaiah 13, especially verses 9-22.

I bid you good day, Friends. Ask of me what you will, though I may not be quick to reply, as the devil has put the demons of arthritis in my hands and I have some difficulty typing on this robot box.

[Bob4God]

Re: Hello, Friends

Greetings, and welcome to GOD's forum!

It sounds like the LORD has blessed you with a long, full life, brimming with exciting experiences such as slaughtering foreigners and building your very own church.

Isaiah 13 is a good one, and it never fails to just wow me with GOD's awesome authority and power!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Hello, Friends

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Reverend Eldred Jonas of the Church of God the Jealous and Wrathful. I retired in the Year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and sixty-four after a band of Godless Negroidals burned my church to the ground, but I have held daily fellowship in my home with a few of my former flock.

I found Jesus in the Year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and eighteen. When my father was killed in France while fighting the Kaiser in the Great War, my mother could no longer support my thirteen brothers and me, and the eldest six of us were forced to leave and find work where we could. I worked on a tobacco plantation for a minister, who taught me ciphering from the Bible and eventually took me into his home. In nineteen hundred and twenty-three, I was married to his daughter, a God-fearing woman who died in childbirth while bearing our eleventh son. I count myself blessed that God did not curse me with daughters.

I built my church with my own hands after coming home from fighting the nips at Iwo Jima in nineteen and forty five, and preached there until the Negroidals laid waste to my life's work.

I love all of God's Holy Words, but what gives me the most strength and comfort is Isaiah 13, especially verses 9-22.

I bid you good day, Friends. Ask of me what you will, though I may not be quick to reply, as the devil has put the demons of arthritis in my hands and I have some difficulty typing on this robot box.

Thank you for an interesting introduction. There are some very good voice-to-text programs available for people like you - you mentioned arthritis: are you crook back'd?

LEVITICUS 21
18 For whatsoeuer man hee be that hath a blemish, he shall not approche: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
19 Or a man that is broken footed, or broken handed,
20 Or crooke backt, or a dwarfe, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scuruy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken:
©1611

Yes God is so wonderful and His Perfect Love comes to us through Isaiah (I was particularly blessed by verse15 in your passage)

His pastoral team blesses us all: they are fountains indeed! John 4:14

However if you are prone to circumlocution the voice-to-text applications might not be such a good idea as they will just regurgitate everything you say & post several pages of stuff no-one really needs to read (again (again)).

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Hello, Friends

Welcome Brother! It's nice to meet such a nice example of a Christian.

[s. warnin]

Re: Hello, Friends

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Reverend Eldred Jonas of the Church of God the Jealous and Wrathful. I retired in the Year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and sixty-four after a band of Godless Negroidals burned my church to the ground, but I have held daily fellowship in my home with a few of my former flock.

I found Jesus in the Year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and eighteen. When my father was killed in France while fighting the Kaiser in the Great War, my mother could no longer support my thirteen brothers and me, and the eldest six of us were forced to leave and find work where we could. I worked on a tobacco plantation for a minister, who taught me ciphering from the Bible and eventually took me into his home. In nineteen hundred and twenty-three, I was married to his daughter, a God-fearing woman who died in childbirth while bearing our eleventh son. I count myself blessed that God did not curse me with daughters.

I built my church with my own hands after coming home from fighting the nips at Iwo Jima in nineteen and forty five, and preached there until the Negroidals laid waste to my life's work.

I love all of God's Holy Words, but what gives me the most strength and comfort is Isaiah 13, especially verses 9-22.

I bid you good day, Friends. Ask of me what you will, though I may not be quick to reply, as the devil has put the demons of arthritis in my hands and I have some difficulty typing on this robot box.

It's nice to meet you sir. Can you expand a bit on your father's role in the fight against tyranny during the Great War?

[Eldred Jonas]

Re: Hello, Friends

Bob4God, my only regret is that the LORD has not yet called me home to Him.

MitzaLizalor, my back is fine and straight, thank you for asking. And though my hands are twisted with the devil's arthritis, they are not broken, just painful. I know nothing of this 'voice-to-text program', but it sounds like something cooked up by the liberal democrats to give free money to boxcar willies, winos, and stewbums. When Rufus' daughter comes this afternoon to cook and do the washing, I'll ask if her daddy knows about it.

Brother Elliot, you are the spitting image of my ninth son, Jeremiah, who was killed by the godless red gooks in the Viet Nam.

S. Warnin, I remember very little of my father. At my age, not much stays with me, save for the Word of God. I remember his name was Abner, and he was a stern man who laid belt and rod across the backs of both his sons and his wife frequently. Mother told us when she got the letter from the government that Father was filled with the wrath of the LORD, and before Jesus called him home, he slew the Prussians as if they were Amalekites.

[Eldred Jonas]

Re: Hello, Friends

Friends,

I am so very grateful that the LORD has blessed me by allowing me to return to this wonderful fellowship. It would seem that there was some manner of impediment within the devil's pipline. I surely would like to be more specific, but I know so very little about computers, as I would rather not consort with those of the robot race.

My temporary departure from this magnificent forum and Brother Harold Porter's efforts to help me rejoin the fold has put me in mind of the story of the shepherd and the lost sheep in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 18. As I recall, it says "How thinke yee? If a man haue an hundred sheepe, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leaue the ninetie and nine, and goeth into the mountaines, and seeketh that which is gone astray?" Why, I feel just like a poor little lost sheep that Brother Harold found cold, frightened, and tired. May the LORD bless you and keep you for all of your days!

Truly, I look forward to joining hands and praising the LORD with you all, and singing wonderful hymns that glorify His name.

May the bllessings of the LORD be upon you all,
EJ

[John Creeser]

Re: Hello, Friends

Welcome back friend!! I'm sorry to see you bear a striking resemblance to that liberal Fred Phelps....I hope you don't get teased too much.

My temporary departure from this magnificent forum and Brother Harold Porter's efforts to help me rejoin the fold has put me in mind of the story of the shepherd and the lost sheep

You'd be wise to listen to every single word Brother Porter says - He was (and still is) my mentor in becoming a True Christian(tm)