The Cane makes you Able

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: The Cane makes you Able

Ms Mitza will understand if I address a man’s points first.

Yes of course take us in any order you prefer.

Mitza Lizalor (Miss)

[Sir Bertram "Butty"]

Re: The Cane makes you Able

Ms Mitza will understand if I address a man’s points first. Only natural.

How many solders for Jesus do you have?

All of my domestic staff are required to be Believers and to wear appropriate symbols on chains round theer necks to prove it. I haven’t counted recently but I think it was about 176 last time.

Tell us about your wife's pie.

Obviously the the mem-sahib doesn’t descend to the kitchens very often. But, when she is told to, she can cook a steak and kidney pie nearly as good as the ones we had at school

How long does it take you to clean your guns?

Even after a full weekend’s grouse-shooting I don’t think it takes the gamekeeper and his boy more than a couple of days.

How many points are there on the largest set of antlers hanging in your den or man cave?

We hang hunting trophies in the smaller dining room, the library and east wing main corridor. But in my ’potting shed’ have a 16 pointer I killed with my bare teeth when I was 12. Deer stalking is a tough game.

[Bible Student]

Re: The Cane makes you Able

Greetings from the land of King James. Oh how it grieves me to acknowledge that this is also the country which produced Dawkins, Hitchens and Stephen Fry.

My full name is Sir Bertram Butterfield Gnoble-Whiteley but most people call me ‘Butty’. You see I don’t insist on my title and I am hardly at all snobbish despite my formidable ancestry and wealth. Even what I think you guys would call “po’ white trash” needs to be SAVED.

Despite that ancestry, though, I regret to say I was insufficiently indoctrinated about the Saving Power of Jesus as an infant. Luckily for me I was sent to boarding schools from the ages of 6 to 18 and there, mercifully, True Religion, was firmly beaten into me. Believe me England is the natural home of humiliating corporal punishment. Water-boarding is for nonces who don’t know how to hit properly.

Thank God for my edcuation; I have known I am in the unquestionable RIGHT ever since.

I am of course a member of the Church of England but it may surprise you to learn that I am of the Middle Church division. I know you will share my misery and fury when I tell you that at least 9 out of 10 vicars of the High Church divison here (where one might expect someone like me to be at home ) are in fact homosexual; and one simply cannot stoop to the Low Church division (the people there…oh dear), so I have no choice.

I hope ‘y’all’ won’t draw unkind inferences about the mere appearance of a lack of Fervour for the Lord, on my part. You see Brits of the upper crust are taught to suppress their emotions as much as possible, and that can mean one comes across as not just reserved but phlegmatic.

When it comes to the unquestionable rightness of the KJV and the necessity of making everyone fall in line with it, NOTHING could be further from the Truth. I KNOW I am right as do all the properly saved . If only we could go back to the time here when the True Faith was legally enforceable here - ah! what a different country this would be.

One last thing. I don’t think the Saved are shagging enough. If we don’t have lots more unprotected sex the papists will keep on outnumbering us. Hence my favourite quotation from the KJV:

But Abijah waxed mighty, and married fourteen wives, and begat twenty and two sons, and sixteen daughters.

(2 Chronicles, 13 v 21)

May ye all wax mighty as often as possible

Welcome Mr. Butterfield. It is refreshing to see a proper introduction. How many solders for Jesus do you have? Tell us about your wife's pie. How long does it take you to clean your guns? How many points are there on the largest set of antlers hanging in your den or man cave?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: The Cane makes you Able

Hello Sir Bertram. Thank you for an introduction which actually tells everyone something about yourself. You seem to be saying that Anglicans might not all be going to Hell which is an unusual idea. I hadn't heard that before. A fuller greeting will be easier for me once The Pastoral Team have measured you up.

I Thessalonians 5:22

[Sir Bertram "Butty"]

Greetings from the land of King James. Oh how it grieves me to acknowledge that this is also the country which produced Dawkins, Hitchens and Stephen Fry.

My full name is Sir Bertram Butterfield Gnoble-Whiteley but most people call me ‘Butty’. You see I don’t insist on my title and I am hardly at all snobbish despite my formidable ancestry and wealth. Even what I think you guys would call “po’ white trash” needs to be SAVED.

Despite that ancestry, though, I regret to say I was insufficiently indoctrinated about the Saving Power of Jesus as an infant. Luckily for me I was sent to boarding schools from the ages of 6 to 18 and there, mercifully, True Religion, was firmly beaten into me. Believe me England is the natural home of humiliating corporal punishment. Water-boarding is for nonces who don’t know how to hit properly.

Thank God for my edcuation; I have known I am in the unquestionable RIGHT ever since.

I am of course a member of the Church of England but it may surprise you to learn that I am of the Middle Church division. I know you will share my misery and fury when I tell you that at least 9 out of 10 vicars of the High Church divison here (where one might expect someone like me to be at home ) are in fact homosexual; and one simply cannot stoop to the Low Church division (the people there…oh dear), so I have no choice.

I hope ‘y’all’ won’t draw unkind inferences about the mere appearance of a lack of Fervour for the Lord, on my part. You see Brits of the upper crust are taught to suppress their emotions as much as possible, and that can mean one comes across as not just reserved but phlegmatic.

When it comes to the unquestionable rightness of the KJV and the necessity of making everyone fall in line with it, NOTHING could be further from the Truth. I KNOW I am right as do all the properly saved . If only we could go back to the time here when the True Faith was legally enforceable here - ah! what a different country this would be.

One last thing. I don’t think the Saved are shagging enough. If we don’t have lots more unprotected sex the papists will keep on outnumbering us. Hence my favourite quotation from the KJV:

But Abijah waxed mighty, and married fourteen wives, and begat twenty and two sons, and sixteen daughters.

(2 Chronicles, 13 v 21)

May ye all wax mighty as often as possible