Brother Shawn!

[Brother Shawn]

Hello fellow Christians,

My name is Shawn. Jesus sent me here today after he put the belief in my head that marijuana makes you gay.

I am 28 years old and am married. My wife and I have been married for seven years and she has given birth to two children and one daughter.

My favorite bible verse from the only true bible is Deuteronomy 22:23-24.

[23 - If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her;

24 - Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.

Praise JESUS! Praise GOD!

[Brother Bob]

Re: Brother Shawn!

Greetings, friend!

What manner of past sin caused you to seek out Jesus? What church do you attend?

[Brother Shawn]

Re: Brother Shawn!

Father Bob!

I attend the Eastside Baptist Church in Indianapolis. I believe the sin of Onan brought me here.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Brother Shawn!

Welcome friend! How many sons has your life partner deposited at your doorstep?

[Brother Shawn]

Re: Brother Shawn!

My wife has brought two wonderful kids into the world. I love my boys. She also had an accident that created a daughter.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Brother Shawn!

My wife has brought two wonderful kids into the world. I love my boys. She also had an accident that created a daughter.

Liberals seem to have it in their heads that it is okay to abort daughters when they happen. I just give mine away through adoption agencies.

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: Brother Shawn!

Brother Shawn,
I'd love to personally welcome your family into Jesus' big strong arms. How old are your wonderful sons? Do they like sports? How tall are they? Have you ever considered sending them on the semi-annual Christian Bible Camp Fellowship Missionary Encounter and Swimfest For Young Boys? We're preparing the RV right now and might be able to squeeze in a couple more if we double up the sleeping arrangements! Just let us know if they can come for me on this one. If not, no worries. We'll be pushing hard to see if we can do it over and over until we just can't do it anymore.

Praise Jesus that you found God's favorite True Christian™ community forum!

Speckled In the Hot Blood of Christ,
Harry Lester

[Brother Shawn]

Re: Brother Shawn!

Youth Minister Harry, my eldest son in seven years old and my youngest is five. They are both very interested in sports. The youngest loving baseball. The oldest is more into Nascar style racing and loves football. The seven year old is 4' 1". The other one is 3' 8".

Brother Shawn

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Brother Shawn!

What church do you attend, Shawn? And whose brother are you?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Brother Shawn]

Re: Brother Shawn!

Pastor Ezekiel,

As I said in my first post, I got to East Side Baptist in Indianapolis, Indiana. I am a brother and a friend to all Baptist brethren.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Brother Shawn!

Welcome, Shawn. Indiana needs Baptists. In fact, any town north of Amarillo or Dalhart are generally filled with catlicks and false religionists choosing and picking which parts of the Bible they want to keep. Your favorite verses are among my favorites, too. Praise Jesus!

[Brother Shawn]

Re: Brother Shawn!

As a fellow want to be True Christian™ I would like someone to respond to my post. I feel as I have been forgotten.

[Brother Shawn]

Re: Brother Shawn!

Pardon that above message. My clumsy self didn't go to the next page.

I do agree Pastor Ed. My previous church recently dropped Baptist from it's name and now is filled with catlicks. I really do love those verses. They are the word of GOD!

God Fearing American,
Brother Shawn

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Brother Shawn!

As to this notion that smoking marijuana makes you gay, I wasted a decade of my life smoking weed before I graduated to smoking meth. I'm pretty sure the marijuana didn't make me gay, but maybe that's because I was starting out from a really, really straight baseline.

I don't think there's even one gay bone in my body!

[Brother Shawn]

Re: Brother Shawn!

Amen Faith Machine! The Lord loves you. It also seems as if you are trying to take back the rainbow. The fags are have stolen one of the greatest things after the rain!

Brother Shawn