Wow!!

[Benjamin Over]

Re: Wow!!

Praise! Those are some mighty powerful verses. Welcome to the narrow path, friend.

Amen Brother!

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

& Thanks for the information Pastor!

[Benjamin Over]

Re: Wow!!

Son, nothing you say will shock us.

Romans 3:23
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Before I gave my life to Jesus on October 16, 1998 at 2:35 in the afternoon, they used to call me "Stretch." I gained this nickname on my high school basketball team, but it took a whole other meaning when I left home to "find myself."

I gained notoriety on the I-35 truck stop route as the "power bottom" with the one of the hungriest butts in the Midwest. I would go so far as to inject muscle relaxants and anesthetics directly into my sphincter to "loosen the O-ring" for a rambunctious night of naked disco and object insertion. Rest assured, I am no stranger to syringes, anuses, or any combination thereof.

But that all changed when I hitched a ride with a Pastor, who laid hands upon me in a different way, and led me on a journey to cure my sodomania (Mark 16:18).

Those memories, while painful (I can't even eat a banana without having my wife chop it up into little cubes), serve to remind me how fortunate I am to now bask in the radiant glory of Christ's love and to have received Him into me. Let me tell you, being perfect feels pretty damn awesome.

So don't be bashful, son. Tell us about how Christ entered you with His love.

Thats so sad sir! It's a good thing you're heading towards salvation now.

Well as for me, I used to fall in love with a Bangkok hooker many many years back then. I remembered that during those time I had to force my self work day and night for two years straight just to kept her satisfied with the money I provided for her heroin habits, & most of all to kept her away from her black pimp husband.

I don't know why, but I loved her so much that my whole life was influenced by her way of lifestyle, to the point where I myself indulged with the narcotics she brought to my old humble premise. But as you know a sinful life like that wasn't meant to last, one night her black husband and several other black men found out where I lived, they trashed everything in my house, stole my belongings & 5 gangsters raped my butt till it leaks all sort of mucus out of it, & left me lying on the floor.

As everything quiet down. I crawled to see the damage they did to my house, I noticed that everything I owned was gone, except for an old KJV bible that my grand pappy used to bash me with when I was a boy hidden right in my closet, & there with a tears and green goo leaking out of my body I begun reading... & there in my closet was where I found JESUS through his words!

Matthew 5:39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

Matthew 5:40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Wow!!

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Jedediah]

Re: Wow!!

Gosh, I don't know where to begin, good sir! All those bad memories involving syringe, & anal sex that used to pertain within my mind has been replaced by the holy loving spirit of his majesty Christ JESUS.

Son, nothing you say will shock us.

Romans 3:23
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Before I gave my life to Jesus on October 16, 1998 at 2:35 in the afternoon, they used to call me "Stretch." I gained this nickname on my high school basketball team, but it took a whole other meaning when I left home to "find myself."

I gained notoriety on the I-35 truck stop route as the "power bottom" with the one of the hungriest butts in the Midwest. I would go so far as to inject muscle relaxants and anesthetics directly into my sphincter to "loosen the O-ring" for a rambunctious night of naked disco and object insertion. Rest assured, I am no stranger to syringes, anuses, or any combination thereof.

But that all changed when I hitched a ride with a Pastor, who laid hands upon me in a different way, and led me on a journey to cure my sodomania (Mark 16:18).

Those memories, while painful (I can't even eat a banana without having my wife chop it up into little cubes), serve to remind me how fortunate I am to now bask in the radiant glory of Christ's love and to have received Him into me. Let me tell you, being perfect feels pretty damn awesome.

So don't be bashful, son. Tell us about how Christ entered you with His love.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Wow!!

Hello to you people. ( My name is Benjamin by the way) A friend of mine happen to showed me a link to this forum, & I tell you guys that I just saw the light, the truth of what I've been searching all my life.

You see, I used to attend this Church by the name of Elim baptist Church, & oh man I truly couldn't stand those hypocrite. They portrayed my JESUS as if he was a harlot or some sort. They preached that JESUS loves everyone, and all that stuff. Which is a Lie every time I get to listen to those people speaks I just wanna throw up.

But as I said, I've always believed in the true JESUS, the JESUS one that quoted, my favorite verses.

Matt 7:13 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat

Matt 7:21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

Praise! Those are some mighty powerful verses. Welcome to the narrow path, friend.

[Little Donkey]

Re: Wow!!

What's up with all of this 'good sir' baloney? From my experience, people only write like that when they have bad intentions. Are you trying to pull a trick on me?

That's how they speak in Austra. Or Arse-tria as it's pronounced in their accent.

[Nobar King]

Re: Wow!!

What's up with all of this 'good sir' baloney? From my experience, people only write like that when they have bad intentions. Are you trying to pull a trick on me?

[Benjamin Over]

Re: Wow!!

It seems that Jesus brought you here just in time. Doesn't it feel great to be filled with His love? It sounds as though you had some dark times in your life, wallowing in sin and perversion, before accepting Christ as your Savior and starting your walk in His footsteps.

Please, share your powerful testimony with us, sparing no sordid details, so that other unsaved trash who are guided here by Jesus may see that Salvation™ is within their grasps as well, no matter what sort of degenerate sex perverts they have been. Show them that by the Grace of God, it is possible to be purify their souls, be born anew of seed incorruptible, and to join us, Jesus' elect, in Christian fellowship.

I Peter 1:22-23
Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:

Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.

Praise!

Gosh, I don't know where to begin, good sir! All those bad memories involving syringe, & anal sex that used to pertain within my mind has been replaced by the holy loving spirit of his majesty Christ JESUS.

[Jedediah]

Re: Wow!!

It seems that Jesus brought you here just in time. Doesn't it feel great to be filled with His love? It sounds as though you had some dark times in your life, wallowing in sin and perversion, before accepting Christ as your Savior and starting your walk in His footsteps.

Please, share your powerful testimony with us, sparing no sordid details, so that other unsaved trash who are guided here by Jesus may see that Salvation™ is within their grasps as well, no matter what sort of degenerate sex perverts they have been. Show them that by the Grace of God, it is possible to be purify their souls, be born anew of seed incorruptible, and to join us, Jesus' elect, in Christian fellowship.

I Peter 1:22-23
Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:
Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.

Praise!

[Benjamin Over]

Re: Wow!!

Welcome friend! How did you accept God as your personal savior?

What do expect living in OZ? You people are a step lower then the brit criminals across the way at AU.

Well it wasn't easy good sir. As a Christian I had to go through a lot of mental, physical, sexual abuses just to find and accept Christ JESUS within my hearth.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Wow!!

Welcome friend! How did you accept God as your personal savior?

What do expect living in OZ? You people are a step lower then the brit criminals across the way at AU.

[Benjamin Over]

Hello to you people. ( My name is Benjamin by the way) A friend of mine happen to showed me a link to this forum, & I tell you guys that I just saw the light, the truth of what I've been searching all my life.

You see, I used to attend this Church by the name of Elim baptist Church, & oh man I truly couldn't stand those hypocrite. They portrayed my JESUS as if he was a harlot or some sort. They preached that JESUS loves everyone, and all that stuff. Which is a Lie every time I get to listen to those people speaks I just wanna throw up.

But as I said, I've always believed in the true JESUS, the JESUS one that quoted, my favorite verses.

Matt 7:13 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat

Matt 7:21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

& uh, after reading some comments made by the member of the Landover Baptist Church, I believe that ( well hopefully ) you guys could get along with me just fine, in JESUS name.