[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hi Hi

Dear Heathen Backslider;

If you were a Christian, you would not be losing your Faith(c).

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[ThatGuyUpNorth]

Re: Hi Hi

I read that I have no rights on this forum, but am I at least allowed to ask how I would go about getting rid of the unsaved title?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hi Hi

I read that I have no rights on this forum, but am I at least allowed to ask how I would go about getting rid of the unsaved title?

Give your life over to Christ and stop spitting in His loving face.

[ThatGuyUpNorth]

Re: Hi Hi

Give your life over to Christ and stop spitting in His loving face.

Would it help if you knew that I've personally saved 7 fags from a life of sin, and brought them back to the God intended them to be?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hi Hi

Would it help if you knew that I've personally saved 7 fags from a life of sin, and brought them back to the God intended them to be?

...Maybe....

Give us the facts, friend.

[ThatGuyUpNorth]

Re: Hi Hi

First one was a raging homo-fag who tried to seduce me 4 years ago. I told him that God considered his lifestyle choice an abomination, and thankfully, he was quick to realize how wrong the choice he made was, and found himself a girlfriend (and future wife) only a week later. He is now married happily with 2 beautiful children.

About three of them (who I chose not to remember because I thought they were too homoqueer to be saved) took more work. I had them all physically tied up and taken to a mental hospital, where they were given anti psychotic medications and were required to attend 4 hours of worship per day, and after two months, all three of them were cured.

Another one also tried to seduce me AND my wife (he's lucky I didn't have my guns close by), so I had him castrated... And oddly enough, since then he has been exclusively attracted to women.

Two of them (they were partners in crime and a couple) used to go to school with me when I was young, and they became very reckless... Sodomy with countless men and even some children. I reported them to the police, where they were arrested, and after 10 years of jail (and prayer to The Lord at my request) they were cured, but even still, thankfully, they are classified as sex offenders, so they can't get within 100 feet of a child.

I would have saved an 8th, but he proved to be too twisted to be helped. He tried to rape me twice, but I maced him both times. That man was a fag to the core, and thankfully he died due to the gay disease (aids) about 2 years ago.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hi Hi

Wait: you carry mace?



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth
Posted via Mobile Device

[ThatGuyUpNorth]

Re: Hi Hi

Wait: you carry mace?

Posted via Mobile Device

Only when I'm around homoqueers. And only because up here, concealed weapons aren't legal.

[Bible Thumping Billy]

Re: Hi Hi

Only when I'm around homoqueers. And only because up here, concealed weapons aren't legal.

Well that is fantastic, you don't seem stupid I hope you wouldn't risk eternal flames to lie to us. So I will say Amen! Saving fags is not hard to do, and to save 7 of those pillow-biters from the eternal damnation is something to be proud of.

And tell me about it, I live in the frozen wasteland Canuckistan where we can not own any concealed weapons, thank the Lord for His protection on me every day, I have faggots and savage eskimos surrounding me every day. Praise Jesus they let me and my children alone.