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  • Andy Branch
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Feb 2012
    • 18

    #1

    Hello!

    Hey there guys, names sparks, found this forum, I may be unsaved, but maybe I can find salvation.

    please reply and say Hi!
  • Didymus Much
    Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
    • Jun 2010
    • 14079

    #2
    Re: Hello!

    Originally posted by Andy Branch View Post
    ...maybe I can find salvation...
    Magic 8-Ball says, "Unlikely".

    Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

    Comment

    • Roberta
      Anti La Leche League Organizer
      True Christian™
      • Jan 2008
      • 1817

      #3
      Re: Hello!

      Hi!
      Attached Files
      Come climb my mountains.

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78556

        #4
        Re: Hello!

        Originally posted by Andy Branch View Post
        Hey there guys, names sparks, found this forum, I may be unsaved, but maybe I can find salvation.

        please reply and say Hi!
        That wasn't much of an introduction, boy. What Church do you attend? How old are you? Why do you want us to cal you "Sparks?"

        Tell us about yourself, your sins, and your newfound desire to kneel before Jesus.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • James Hutchins
          True Christian™
          Just a Regular Nice Guy
           
          • Jun 2009
          • 29453

          #5
          Re: Hello!

          So Andy, what passage that God has provided to you seems most apt?
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment

          • Andy Branch
            Unsaved trash
            Under Investigation
            • Feb 2012
            • 18

            #6
            Re: Hello!

            My apologies for the albeit brief intro, well I am an antendee of Saint Gabriels in London, (Yes a UK sinner) but I find John 9 an inspiration, the healing of Bartimaeus, the spelling may be wrong on that one, forgive me if so.

            they call me sparks for my working as a "spark" in buildings and for my works on computers.

            any more questions, let me know.

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78556

              #7
              Re: Hello!

              Do you have any teeth left? How black are they? How many times a day do you get "buggered" in your school? How many times a day are you forced to bow down to the queen? Is it true that the scottish are all retards? Is it true that kitchen taps have rum flowing out of them instead of water?
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • Andy Branch
                Unsaved trash
                Under Investigation
                • Feb 2012
                • 18

                #8
                Re: Hello!

                I have all my teeth, all are white (teeth are important!) never been buggered, am a pure man, of no carnal intrusion. and no its water, not rum, though I am sure some people would prefer that.

                I am part scottish myself a proud nation, yes we get a press, but not to be sullied under the same flag.

                Comment

                • Dr Laurence Niles
                  Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
                   
                  • Jan 2012
                  • 9063

                  #9
                  Re: Hello!

                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                  Is it true that the scottish are all retards?
                  As ever you are correct Pastor Zeke.

                  The Scotch are indeed retarded, backwards, over weight and under skilled.

                  They migrate south for the winter but as 80% of the Scotch are heroine and alcohol dependent as well as homeless God's sharp frosts keep them down to a manageable number.

                  They can be seen near the tube stations in London committing Onanism for pennies.

                  Just another low point in this God forsaken Island.

                  YIC
                  1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                  Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                  Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                  Comment

                  • Andy Branch
                    Unsaved trash
                    Under Investigation
                    • Feb 2012
                    • 18

                    #10
                    Re: Hello!

                    You know not all Scots are retarded, there have been many great Scots.

                    Tom Wier, an explorer, author and broadcaster. Sadly Missed since 2006.

                    Joeseph Black, Discovered Carbon Dioxide. Daniel Rutherford, Discovered and Isolated Nitrogen. These are to name a few, even in any nation, while sinners frollock damming the deeds of good men, Genius, Honesty and Truth can shine through in rare moments.

                    No country is without sin, a plain and simple fact.

                    Comment

                    • Dr Laurence Niles
                      Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
                       
                      • Jan 2012
                      • 9063

                      #11
                      Re: Hello!

                      Originally posted by Andy Branch View Post
                      You know not all Scots are retarded, there have been many great Scots.

                      Tom Wier, an explorer, author and broadcaster. Sadly Missed since 2006.

                      Joeseph Black, Discovered Carbon Dioxide. Daniel Rutherford, Discovered and Isolated Nitrogen. These are to name a few, even in any nation, while sinners frollock damming the deeds of good men, Genius, Honesty and Truth can shine through in rare moments.

                      No country is without sin, a plain and simple fact.
                      Go down to Leicester Square and wait outside a tube gate and within 20 seconds a Scotch (okay, maybe and Paddy bog trotter, too) will sidle up (stinking of urine and White Lightning) and offer you a hand job for a quid.

                      Fact!
                      1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                      Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                      Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                      Comment

                      • Andy Branch
                        Unsaved trash
                        Under Investigation
                        • Feb 2012
                        • 18

                        #12
                        Re: Hello!

                        Well being born in London, never been offered a sexual act from the Homeless. Do you speak from experience sir? Never had a crazy English, Scot, or Paddy Homeless approach me.

                        I did have an American one come up to me asking for a cigarertte, so I let him smoke up and led him to a shelter for the night, least I could do.

                        Comment

                        • Rev. M. Rodimer
                          Honorary True Christian™
                          Forum Member
                          • May 2008
                          • 13996

                          #13
                          Re: Hello!

                          Originally posted by Andy Branch View Post
                          My apologies for the albeit brief intro, well I am an antendee of Saint Gabriels in London,
                          Is that part of the CoE cult, or the Roman Catholic cult?
                          they call me sparks for my working as a "spark" in buildings
                          Are you an arsonist?
                          Bible boring? Nonsense!
                          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                          Comment

                          • Andy Branch
                            Unsaved trash
                            Under Investigation
                            • Feb 2012
                            • 18

                            #14
                            Re: Hello!

                            It's Roman Catholic, which I never consider Satanic, Never been buggered by a priest, I dont worship the devil. I believe in the Trinity, and most importantly the word of God.

                            And a spark is a tern used among workers for an electrician.

                            Comment

                            • Rev. M. Rodimer
                              Honorary True Christian™
                              Forum Member
                              • May 2008
                              • 13996

                              #15
                              Re: Hello!

                              Originally posted by Andy Branch View Post
                              It's Roman Catholic, which I never consider Satanic, Never been buggered by a priest, I dont worship the devil. I believe in the Trinity, and most importantly the word of God.
                              How can you be a Catholic AND believe the Word of God? Catholics aren't Christian.

                              And a spark is a tern used among workers for an electrician.
                              Glad you're not an arsonist.
                              Bible boring? Nonsense!
                              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                              Comment

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