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  • #16
    Re: A Proper Introduction

    Originally posted by Velocitologist View Post
    When Velocijesus said to turn the other cheek, he didn't mean your butt cheeks.
    I don't think you even have a congregation. I think you're just some dumb kid on the Internet, fooling around.

    Why don't you get your brain out of your hindquarters and accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior before He casts you into Hell?
    WARNING:
    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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    • #17
      Re: A Proper Introduction

      Originally posted by Velocitologist View Post
      Please don't allude to me being the Son of God.
      I didn't allude to any such thing. I asked if you've ever been out in the hot desert sun without water and shelter. A simple question. A long hike outside Las Vegas would be adequate for that experience.

      Yes or no?
      Bible boring? Nonsense!
      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

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      • #18
        Re: A Proper Introduction

        Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
        I don't think you even have a congregation. I think you're just some dumb kid on the Internet, fooling around.

        Why don't you get your brain out of your hindquarters and accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior before He casts you into Hell?

        HA! Says the the man who believes the mighty Son of God wasn't a velociraptor. When you reach the pearly gates, Velocijesus will close the gate with his mighty tail for denying his existence. Have fun with terridacsatan.

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        • #19
          Re: A Proper Introduction

          Originally posted by Velocitologist View Post
          HA! Says the the man who believes the mighty Son of God wasn't a velociraptor. When you reach the pearly gates, Velocijesus will close the gate with his mighty tail for denying his existence. Have fun with terridacsatan.
          Would you care to cite some scripture which states as much?

          If you can show me where in the Bible it says this, I will happily believe and abide by it.
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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          • #20
            Re: A Proper Introduction

            Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
            Would you care to cite some scripture which states as much?

            If you can show me where in the Bible it says this, I will happily believe and abide by it.
            1 Corinthians 2:7-9 But we impart a secret and hidden wisdom of God, which God decreed before the ages for our glory. None of the rulers of this age understood this, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. But, as it is written,”What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”

            That wisdom clearly was that Jesus Christ was a velociraptor. Clearly.

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            • #21
              Re: A Proper Introduction

              I guess round one goes to Velociraptology. Thank Velocijesus.

              Comment

              • #22
                Re: A Proper Introduction

                I look forward to seeing you accept Jesus Christ (the one that's God inhabiting human, not dinosaur, flesh) as your personal savior or seeing you banned from this forum.

                I hope it's the former, but the latter wouldn't disturb me too much.
                WARNING:
                In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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                • #23
                  Re: A Proper Introduction

                  You can ban me but you can never ban the velocitruth.

                  Comment

                  • #24
                    Re: A Proper Introduction

                    Originally posted by Velocitologist View Post
                    You can ban me but you can never ban the velocitruth.
                    Request granted.
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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