[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: My Introduction

Why are you named after a type of cheese? Did your parents hate Jesus?

If your parents were going to flip through a cheese almanac, why not name you "American"?

[Bree Tarkanian]

Re: My Introduction

You poor thing, men and women should be partners in a relationship

The Designer made us with our specific roles (I mean how many women smoke pipes?) but to put you over his knee and smack your bear bottom?

Just thinking about it sends shivers down my spine

We have been specifically design to function perfectly and you do not need a man to override the Designers designated designs for you.

You need to tell him you are a strong woman and deserve to be able to make you own decisions about whether you need to wear nappies, or not.

ThinksDesign.

While I appreciate your concern, I know that he means the best for me. He has taken me in hand because I was an errant woman who still acted like a child. No, I don't like the idea of being put in diapers, but it certainly does curb my bad behavior. He knows what's best.

[Bree Tarkanian]

Re: My Introduction

How many sons have you given to God?
How does your husband tolerate you?

I have not had any children, though we're hoping that happens soon.

As for the last question, it's because he loves me.

[Bree Tarkanian]

Re: My Introduction

If you talk as much to your husband as you did in your OP... stop it.

Thank you for the advice. You're correct in that I tend to talk too much. William has threatened to get a ball gag for me to wear at all times while in the house (even to sleep).

For my OP, though, he instructed me to be thorough.

[Bree Tarkanian]

Re: My Introduction

Why are you named after a type of cheese? Did your parents hate Jesus?

If your parents were going to flip through a cheese almanac, why not name you "American"?

With all due respect, Sir, why are you being so rude? I've been very respectful and I didn't think I could have offended someone. If I've done something to upset you, please let me know so I can work on it.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: My Introduction

Dear, this is what "due respect" to an esteemed member of the forum and the Family Man of the Year 2011 might look like:

With all due respect, Sir, you are absolutely right. The Spirit of the LORD is powerful in you, even a lowly unsaved trash such as myself can see that. Thank you for taking the time out of your very busy day to ask why my parents hate Jesus. I don't know. If they didn't, they never would have spoiled me so much as a child.

[James Hutchins]

Re: My Introduction

I have not had any children, though we're hoping that happens soon.

As for the last question, it's because he loves me.

Making male babies for God does not just 'happen'. Put your back into it. Every single day, morning, noon through night, make your womanly filthy bits available for your husbands abundant deposits of seed. As disgusting as you may be, coax your husband into wanting to lie with you. Do what ever he may want to make the experience bearable for him.
Stop scrubbing it with lye. Instead, sit on a bench and simply let Gods air waft away the stench.
A real woman is with son within a day or two of marriage.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My Introduction

With all due respect, Sir, why are you being so rude? I've been very respectful and I didn't think I could have offended someone. If I've done something to upset you, please let me know so I can work on it.

Billy Bob lost a child to severe lactose intolerance, so gets very distressed by references to cheese, ice cream, milk, and especially yogurt.

Also, never serve him a large helping of hummus in a white cotton napkin. It just brings back too many bad memories of poor lost Billy Bob Jr.

The child died shortly before Billy Bob came to Jesus--I understand one of Landover's outreach specialists met Billy Bob at the child's funeral, just a few days too late for Junior--and Billy Bob often blames himself for not getting right with God sooner. For, you see, he now knows that his little Junior isn't just "gone", but will spend eternity being burned alive in God's Lake of Fire. Probably with uncontrollable diarrhea. All because Billy Bob chose to ignore God.

Please try to be a little more sensitive to our members, dear.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My Introduction

Why did your parents name you after that stink cheese they eat in Godless France?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

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