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  • #1

    Hello from the dry land

    Greetings brothers and women

    I am the Rev Bob Dover from the Church of Christ Clairemont. I am glad we have a forum to talk to fellow minded believers and I look forward to many engaging conversations.

    My favourite quote:

    I need not to quote this directly. You should know and if you don't you are not worthy of God

    Ephesians 5:22-24
    God has proven to us what science has failed to. Believe or be gone
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Hello from the dry land

    Welcome to god's favourite forum


    Tell us more about yourself please, and speak the truth, because Jesus our savior will be reading :-)

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Hello from the dry land

      Welcome Reverend.

      So tell us, how many little soldiers for Christ has your dutiful wife supplied you with?

      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hello from the dry land

        Originally posted by Rev. B Dover View Post
        Greetings brothers and women

        I am the Rev Bob Dover from the Church of Christ Clairemont. I am glad we have a forum to talk to fellow minded believers and I look forward to many engaging conversations.

        My favourite quote:

        I need not to quote this directly. You should know and if you don't you are not worthy of God

        Ephesians 5:22-24

        Please post a link to your church website. I am especially interested in reading some of your sermons.

        If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

        If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

        You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

        Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hello from the dry land

          I hope this isn't the Claremont United Church of Christ in Claremont, California. I went to one of their softball games once, and there were way too many single women in shorts.
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hello from the dry land

            Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
            Welcome Reverend.

            So tell us, how many little soldiers for Christ has your dutiful wife supplied you with?

            2 angels and 1 devil
            2 daughters and 1 fag

            Our youngest son had come out gay a few months ago. We prayed for him, we offered to help him but he had insisted it was not his choice. For his lies we have disowned him and I will NOT pray for him.

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Please post a link to your church website. I am especially interested in reading some of your sermons.
            Brother Ezekiel I wish I had better news but only 4 years ago my church was reduced to ashes. We were told it was an electrical fire but I believe it was the god hating fags that usually vandalised our church. I am looking to be a pastor at the local anglican school. I would like to show them real faith.

            I need help though. I am not all up to date with this technology I cant post topics anywhere else on this forum. there is a pro gay marriage movement in Tasmania Australia that we must alert our bretheren about. What do we do about it?
            God has proven to us what science has failed to. Believe or be gone

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hello from the dry land

              Originally posted by Rev. B Dover View Post
              2 angels and 1 devil
              2 daughters and 1 fag

              Our youngest son had come out gay a few months ago. We prayed for him, we offered to help him but he had insisted it was not his choice. For his lies we have disowned him and I will NOT pray for him.
              So not only are you a failed parent, but a failed Christian.

              At least you're consistent.
              Bible boring? Nonsense!
              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Hello from the dry land

                Originally posted by Rev. B Dover View Post
                there is a pro gay marriage movement in Tasmania Australia that we must alert our bretheren about. What do we do about it?
                Well, since none of your "bretheren" can read, I guess smoke signals? Most Austrians are either drunk, queer, abo or some combination therein based on my experience.

                Where is Tasmania? I always thought it was in Egypt.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Hello from the dry land

                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                  Where is Tasmania? I always thought it was in Egypt.
                  It's where the Devil lives. No wonder there's sodomarriage.
                  Bible boring? Nonsense!
                  Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                  You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                  Comment

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