Halleluja brothers and Sisters

[Stig Barstad]

Praise be that the Lord has seen fit to direct His Brethren to landoverbaptist.net where I may find others to praise and glorify the True Word Of Our Lord and Saviour only begotten son. Truly a miracle brothers and sisters!

Now let me recount how I first encountered the Glory Of Jesus. I was fighting in Afganistan for Sweden's freedoms as a payroll officer, when I was injured in the line of duty. As the medic was attending to me, I encountered an Angel who suddenly revealed the true nature of God and Love. And I saw that Gods Love was truly setting only the HIGHEST standards for his flock, and expecting nothing but the very best of true wholesome goodness. And as a loving father must often be a stern disiplinarian, so must God punish us with the very real possibility of eternal suffering damnation, simply to ensure that we all become the very best of God's children that we can be.

These days, I have accepted the True Word of Our Saviour Jesus Christ - KJBV, and attend The Ensomma Free Baptist Church in Stockholm, where I can blessedly glory in the guidance of God:
"And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; Then shalt thou bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father a full month; and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife. And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will." Deut. 21:11-14
Which only goes to show that sometimes you have to be quite ASSERTIVE when saving a wantom sinner, after all it's for their own eternal good! However, should they still refuse the scriptures guidance, they are clearly unsaved trash and should be disposed of as such.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

While your words and actions seem to indicate that you may have been in touch with our Lord and Savior, I still have trouble getting past the notion that you are from Sweden and were serving in Afganistania. Shouldn't you be protecting the ultimate child-molester, the Pope?

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

Hello Stig!

How many sons has your wife plopped on the tundra for Our Lord Jesus Christ? We want to get to know you!



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Stig Barstad]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

Dear Brother Earnest. I am disgusted to admit that sweden is a den of sin far worse than dreamt of by any Idolaltory Virgin-obsessed 'incense'-smoking papist....it's (now you must sheild your eyes, or at least squint) L*theren. I cannot sully my pc with the whole word, but I expect you might perhaps know of it. You may also know it as Lucifer's Folly. I know I do. As does the Lord

Dear Brother Smythe. I am happy to say that we have been blessed with four little Barstads, to girls and to boys, and one more on the way! They truly are happy little soldiers of Christ. The youngest one often pleads with his siblings to be lifted out of his wheelchair and be bound to the cross his sisters and brothers have set up in the front yard, where they re-enact the Bible all day! God bless 'em

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

Wheelchair? Was the poor boy injured in The War Against Islamofascists?

[Stig Barstad]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

Dear Brother Doctor Earnest.
As a man of science, I'm sure you have read genetic theory, (as I have, being a farmer). And I'm sure that you're familiar with how breeders of crops and livestock will often 'back-cross' to isolate and breed desirable traits, and help keep blood-lines pure.
And as a man of god, I'm sure that you will agree that if the Good lord sees fit to isolate and breed certain desirable characteristics (such as a devotion to Jesus) by giving me such a fine woman as Mrs. Barstad (nee Barstad) to 'back-cross' with and produce a brood wholly devoted to Our Saviour, where would the harm be in that??

If you could please give me a veiw or two from an official scientific advisor, one of God?
Because my boss at the school where I teach is clearly influenced by Satan, and keeps coming up with all this scientific mumbo-jumbo about how I shouldn't be telling the students about the virtues of chosing from good and reliable stock when marrying, such as I did with my cousin.
Please, if you could help me put him in his place?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

You have a boss at your Homeschool? What kind of hell bent lifestyle are you living?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

Dear Brother Doctor Earnest.
As a man of science, I'm sure you have read genetic theory, (as I have, being a farmer). And I'm sure that you're familiar with how breeders of crops and livestock will often 'back-cross' to isolate and breed desirable traits, and help keep blood-lines pure.
And as a man of god, I'm sure that you will agree that if the Good lord sees fit to isolate and breed certain desirable characteristics (such as a devotion to Jesus) by giving me such a fine woman as Mrs. Barstad (nee Barstad) to 'back-cross' with and produce a brood wholly devoted to Our Saviour, where would the harm be in that??

If you could please give me a veiw or two from an official scientific advisor, one of God?
Because my boss at the school where I teach is clearly influenced by Satan, and keeps coming up with all this scientific mumbo-jumbo about how I shouldn't be telling the students about the virtues of chosing from good and reliable stock when marrying, such as I did with my cousin.
Please, if you could help me put him in his place?

The Bible instructs us to follow secular laws.

Does Swedish law allow you to marry your cousin?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

Dear Bjorn;

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[Stig Barstad]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

Wheelchair? Was the poor boy injured in The War Against Islamofascists?

Nope, unless they were praying to their satanic islamic prophets to injure the God-fearing children of the Saved by making them stick their tongue in places where they shouldn't be...would'nt put it past them

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

As a man of science, I'm sure you have read genetic theory, (as I have, being a farmer). And I'm sure that you're familiar with how breeders of crops and livestock will often 'back-cross' to isolate and breed desirable traits, and help keep blood-lines pure.

Genetics are a hoax, even little children know that. In Genesis 30:37-39 one can find the truth about genetics.

[Stig Barstad]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

You have a boss at your Homeschool? What kind of hell bent lifestyle are you living?

Well the liitle Barstads will surely be homeschooled from now on, and I thank the Lord for blessing me with being fired from my sommer-job as a teacher (I know that the job was a sin, but its a trifle tricky living off the land when its under the 2 meters of snow that the Lord sees fit to bless us with much of the year). I was fired when a few of my students got upset with The Truth...OH BOO-HOO-HOO! Crying all the way home is NOTHING compared to the ETERNITY they'll spend crying IN HELL for their sinfull ways. Anyway, I was only trying to help their damned little souls So...no more teaching second grade, thank The Lord, its home schooling and eating whatever The Lord will see fit to bless us with in the winter.. Perhaps it will even be his will that we fast for a few weeks!

"Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake. I Peter 2:13"
This avenue now being exhuasted, I now see no other option than to ignore the law against home schooling and bless the little darlings with h.s. It obviously has been an intellektshual blessing for my fellow Independant Baptists, and now its my childrens turn!

The Bible instructs us to follow secular laws.

Does Swedish law allow you to marry your cousin?

Luckily, yes ! Praise Jesus! Hellehuja! (she's just distant enough, although she did in fact have the same name)

Thus were both daughters of Lot with child by their father. Gen. 19:36

[Stig Barstad]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

agreed! Hope you enjoy Hell Charles Darwin, because your gonna be there for all eternity feeling like a fool

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

Well the liitle Barstads will surely be homeschooled from now on, and I thank the Lord for blessing me with being fired from my sommer-job as a teacher (I know that the job was a sin, but its a trifle tricky living off the land when its under the 2 meters of snow that the Lord sees fit to bless us with much of the year). I was fired when a few of my students got upset with The Truth...OH BOO-HOO-HOO! Crying all the way home is NOTHING compared to the ETERNITY they'll spend crying IN HELL for their sinfull ways. Anyway, I was only trying to help their damned little souls So...no more teaching second grade, thank The Lord, its home schooling and eating whatever The Lord will see fit to bless us with in the winter.. Perhaps it will even be his will that we fast for a few weeks!

How is a job teaching sinful?

And how will your little Bastards study God's Word if they are starving?

It obviously has been an intellektshual blessing for my fellow Independant Baptists, and now its my childrens turn!

I see you are a product of the public schools yourself.

Don't you think it would be wise to learn proper English before trying to teach your children?

Thus were both daughters of Lot with child by their father. Gen. 19:36

You will note that this occurred before God outlawed incest, through Moses, in Leviticus.

I can't help but wonder if you are here to mock us. After all, your username is an anagram for "Bastard Gits". It almost seems like it's chosen to insult us.

Surely, I am mistaken?

[Stig Barstad]

Re: Halleluja brothers and Sisters

How is a job teaching sinful?

Why Reverend, I found the 'virtue' of it's insistant refusal to give me the possibility of a well-balanced Baptist veiwpoint on the science of the Young Earth and a fair and balanced counter-arguement to that Darwinian mumbo-jumbo, why, i found that to be most sinful Sir. Was I led astray?

And how will your little Bastards study God's Word if they are starving?

True Reverend, and bless you for your Christian concern. Food may be a little scarce in the late winter should The Good Lord deem it, although me and my wife prefer to see it not as forced starvation and having nothing to do for months on end but stare at the wall, no Reverend, we like to think of it as fasting and meditation

I see you are a product of the public schools yourself.

Don't you think it would be wise to learn proper English before trying to teach your children?

Yes Reverend, Sir, it was indeed my misfortune to have my home schooling abrubtly cut-short when the The Lord and Saviour did call my blessed daddy back to his bosum in an combine-harvester accident. Thus I was subjected to the satanic and wicked fag-loving public school system.
As we live in Scandinavia, I shall be teaching my somewhat adekwate Swedish to my spawn. Howevers you so selflessly and kindly pointed out, my English is a little lacking, perhaps its even a little sub-par, so to speak. in which case, I shall be using the guidance of the Word of Jesus as a teaching aide, which will hopefully correct any glaring, or even subtle mistakes that I might make. Perhaps LBC might also prove to be a valued resource.

Thus were both daughters of Lot with child by their father.

You will note that this occurred before God outlawed incest, through Moses, in Leviticus.

I can't help but wonder if you are here to mock us. After all, your username is an anagram for "Bastard Gits". It almost seems like it's chosen to insult us.

Surely, I am mistaken?

Yes indeed, Reverend, God bless that you are truly mistaken!!! I was born in Norway of Norwegian parents, where Stig Barstad is quite a common name. You can Google it if it please your Reverence. Barstad means "Barren Place" or "Barren Villiage", from whence my Godless heathen ancestors hailed. "Stig" can mean "Ladder". Or "Ugly".
I quite like mine, and my wifes name, Stig & Marta Barstard.

Please bless us, our children, and yourself kind Rev.