[Dutch Girl]

Re: I'm back

It's amazing isn't it. I only have to think you're probably about to turn up and (t)here you are. Of course you know I'm happy to be friends with you but since meeting all these wonderful people it's as though everyone else is nuts. Very often we are able to recognise the work of the Spirit in another soul [yours, in this case] because of the reaction to move away. But in the end [as in Miss Kat's case] curiosity wins out and the desire for Salvation draws the elect to Him, as you are drawn.

Seriously, you need to get laid.

Being a virgin is not becoming you.

[Deaner]

Re: I'm back

If somebody called "Dutch Girl" turns up offering advice, I'd be very cautious. In fact I'll leave her a messagie reminding her not to do so.

• [done]

Sister Mitza;

If there is anyone who can bring Sister Kitty Kat out from her shyness, it would be you.

You have traversed the valley between sin and love. You have endured the endless line of fat, sweaty pastors berating and quizzing you on every aspect of the Bible and came away with your faith intact (although somewhat tired and in need of a bath).

Maybe she is away right now, being torn between satan and our sweet Baby Jesus. Maybe she is resting after searching her soul for the deep answers required to follow our Saviour.

It is you I trust (should you accept) to decipher the unreliable and non-sensical feelings of a feeble minded woman. Please join me in prayer to our Saviour and help guide our Sweet Sister Kitty Kat back to our Saviour and the chubby, smelly bodies of our Pastor's bosoms. Do not be afraid, we are with you.

Should you succeed, I will present you with your own special medal "Female approaching intelligence". God speed Sister.

YIC

Deaner

[Deaner]

Re: I'm back

You rang?

I have only one tip for you. Run away fast from these Christian nuts and go have some fun.

Dear Dutch Girl;

My name is Deaner and I am kind of a morality Deputy for Landover Baptist. Could we please have a full frontal nude shot to make sure you are not one of those weirdo she-males?

Please don't worry about being accepted into our church. I will let you stay in my cabin in the woods until everything blows over, comes to a head, something hard is in your hands, you feel sticky, we figure it out. Trust in me Child of Christ. There are many senior Pastors waiting to help. I have never said this to anyone before. We are honest noble men. Please don't believe any lies you hear about me.

[Dutch Girl]

Re: I'm back

Don't I deserve more than a bit of copy paste?

But in case you are really interested, the Internet is filled with my full frontal nudity pictures.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I'm back

Seriously, you need to get laid.

Being a virgin is not becoming you.

I am trying to eat breakfast if you don't mind and am having enough trouble already due to having hurt my back last night.

the valley between sin and love

The local art festivals are held in gently mown rolllng hills (or in dense bush, take your pick) and so there are indeed plenty of secluded valleys available. Yes, I know what heathens will get up to there - or in plain view for all to see - but I am not surprised having spent enough time as a heathen myself to recognise what their idiotic gestures mean.

Now I recognise the hand of SATAN and long for all these harlots to hear The Good News that they don't have to act like that any more. Their lives are so warped, so out of balance and there is an answer.

Thank you both for your concern.

[Deaner]

Re: I'm back

Don't I deserve more than a bit of copy paste?

But in case you are really interested, the Internet is filled with my full frontal nudity pictures.

That hurt my feelings. I'm going back to my true love Mitzi.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I'm back

oh dear

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I'm back

I would gladly except all the help I can get, but I don't want to bring this sites reputation into disrepute and was wondering if it should be discussed with a mature christian in private?

My confidential True Christian(tm) email link is at the bottom of my signature below. Feel free to contact me anytime.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I'm back

I have just pm'd them to you. Please pass them along once we have KItty Kat's confirmation.

I wasn't sure exactly who you wanted me to pass them along to, so I forwarded the directions to all ten members of Praise Club. I hope that was alright.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I'm back

Don't I deserve more than a bit of copy paste?

No.

I wasn't sure exactly who you wanted me to pass them along to, so I forwarded the directions to all ten members of Praise Club. I hope that was alright.

Thanks for including me, Brother FM. I do look forward to lending a hand!

I just hope the young girl to be prayed over actually shows up this time.

[KittyKat]

Re: I'm back

I just hope the young girl to be prayed over actually shows up this time.

Hello Reverend,

I do so hope to attend, I need to be prayed over. If others want to come and join they can too.

[Deaner]

Re: I'm back

To Brother Faith; you may pm the directions to any male who wishes to see Jesus Christ exit their bodies and enter into a female controlled by Satan.

To Sister Kitty Kat; it has taken a lot of courage to take the step you are about to take so I would like to prepare you somewhat...

You will be naked laying in the middle of approx. 40 naked men holding candles and calling on Christ to join us. If you lift your head slightly and look out the entrance to the cabin door you will also see a line of naked men, also holding candles, as far as the eye can see. It will be impossible to see the end of the line. This is to enforce Christ's desire that we stop trying to figure out what He's going to do. If you see bottles of whiskey and cuban cigars being passed around do not worry, they are not for you.

As the chanting of Christ's name becomes louder, all of a sudden you will here a shrieking "Yipeee!! Let's do it!!" coming from the back of the line.

Again, do not be afraid.

The room will begin to spin (this is Christ making his entrance), you will see legs, arms, unknown faces swirling and turning in a mixture of sweat, body odour and dirty gonads. It's ok, just go with it. You will be lifted to the highest form of ecstasy you have ever felt. You will become unconscious.

When you awake, you will be alone in a room filled with empty liquor bottles, stained clothing and dirty towels. Please clean up then turn off the lights when you leave.

Congratulations. You have been saved.

[KittyKat]

Re: I'm back

When you awake, you will be alone in a room filled with empty liquor bottles, stained clothing and dirty towels. Please clean up then turn off the lights when you leave.

That all sounded rather amazing, and I look forward to it all!

Of course I will clean and scrub the floors. I can do all the laundry for the next day.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I'm back

It's so refreshing to meet a young lady with such a good attitude!

[KittyKat]

Re: I'm back

Thanks