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  • Hello...

    Hello y'all,

    Boy it feels good to be in with you guys, nothing like a bunch of God-fearing simpletons to help my day.

    Mellow Middle, handle made up by pure inspiration. Not as catchy as I'd like, but you know, can't have it all (or be helped as free will is not something I believe in).

    May I just say that coming across your site was a hilarious relief to the dreadful GODZILLA2000.

    Took issue with one thread you backwards Darwin-deniers had up on your illustrious forum and I have provided a link here: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=51556

    I quote such choice sections as "Denmark is populated by a racist,self-egoistic, arrogant people called "Danes", or Denmarkians."

    Denmark has gotten some bad stick down the years for being 'nationalist' the tag is unfair as it is only been policies put forward by ministers belonging to fringe parties and not in power. While the Jyllands-Posten cartoons depicting Muhammed were insensitive, it was merely one country acting out their freedom of speech, something YOU people should be aware of. However, consider the amount of satirical beating Jesus has had down the years and you think that this must ALL be fair game.

    "Denmark is crime haven. Once you commit a crime, you can go out free again and continue with the crime that you were previously caught doing. For example, a paedophile in Denmark can go out, have intercourse with children, then after being released by the sick danish government he can go out and repeat it as much as he would like."

    This might as well be cited from ASS. This is complete hocum, Denmark has it's crime problems but everywhere does. In Biblical times, men killed the HECK out of each other for real non-issues and God throws the book down for anyone who worships anything but him. If the dude wants to make twinkies so damned delicious then he's asking to invite a custody battle. Yes.. I worship twinkies during the week and God on the weekend, sue me.

    I'm getting bored, so I'll curtail this little hullo after the final paragraph:
    "This does not explain the behaviour of the danish people, the fact that they are Denmarkians is a natural disease which they are born with, but take a danish citizen, mix it with cheap tuborg beer and see him/her abuse the white powder, and there you have it. A typical danish person."

    Denmarkian isn't a disease and the person who wrote this probably isn't a doctor. I'd stake all my Graven images on that. If he is, someone should strike him off. The final part can have "Danish" omitted and replaced with EVERY nationality on Earth, Heaven, Hell and planets the Gospel can't account for (Nibiru, seriously?) because if you mix anyone with alcohol and stimulant drugs they'll probably act in an uncivilised manner. Not even the Samaritan would be coherent.

    I didn't have much time to read over your quaint little hate-hole, but I'm sure along with misinterpretations of a book no one can account for the author (apart from voices) and favourite smutty like form the King James, it is filled with utter garbage like this. Mind=blown? Hold on to your hairnets, it's not over yet.

    I have but one more quote, and i've put the sticking point in bold and underlined them in case you have to squint. It is taken from the forum terms and agreements I had to skim over:

    "By agreeing to these rules, you warrant that you will not post any messages that are obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented, hateful, threatening, or otherwise violative of any laws."

    I don't know about you but largely unfounded remarks about a nation with non-facts quoted as if they are true (judging by the people commenting, it's clear to see a trend in listening to unfounded nonsense) and having written like a 14 year-old who was rejected by their high school crush is kinda in violation of those terms. Yes, vulgar can be defined as "Lacking sophistication or good taste; unrefined". Bang on the money.

    Side note: Every Danish person I have met has been quite pleasant and had the utmost interest in me, my family and were always accommodating and friendly. A far cry from the loutish addicts you portray. Go figure?
    10
    Yes.
    0%
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    No.
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    3
    I'm getting there.
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    No, but Jesus does.
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    Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
    abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

  • #2
    Re: Hello...

    Hello friend and welcome to the friendliest forum of all internet.

    Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Hello...

      Hello!

      Which verse from the Holy Bible sets your soul on fire! How do you serve the LORD in your life? For example, how many Soldiers of Christ have you given your wife to birth?

      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Hello...

        Can someone translate eskimo gibberish into American? I can't make heads or tails out of this guy.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Hello...

          Welcome friend, please come back when you are not drunk from chawing on fermented blubber.
          We want to help guide you to finding True Love(c) with Jesus but quite frankly, until you get your act together no one can help you.
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Hello...

            Eskimos are so hateful.



            Yours in Christ,

            Z. Smyth
            sigpic

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Hello...

              Welcome to the forum Satan hates the most.
              Originally posted by Mellow Middle
              Every Danish person I have met has been quite pleasant and had the utmost interest in me
              Do they hand out free Vaseline at every street corner in Denmarkia?
              How on Earth can having someones tallywhacker in your bottom be pleasant?
              Do you really hate Jesus that much?

              Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:26-27
              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Hello...

                Originally posted by Mellow Middle
                Hello y'all,

                >rant about Denmark<
                Hi! I see you've overlooked the idiot-proof instructions at the top of the page.

                I'll re-post them here for you. I'll type very slowly and in nice big letters; please try to keep up.

                Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us

                what church you go to and

                what your favorite Bible verse is and

                how you came to find Jesus.
                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Hello...

                  Originally posted by Mellow Middle
                  Hello y'all,

                  ....

                  Side note: Every Danish person I have met has been quite pleasant and had the utmost interest in me, my family and were always accommodating and friendly. A far cry from the loutish addicts you portray. Go figure?
                  I'm sure taking KY jelly from some unshaved, liquored-up bum with an army jacket and no home could be misconstrued as someone liking or having an interest in you. But in reality, it is just posturing for another in a day's quota of assaults. If the high taxes won't kill you, then the street thugs will.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Hello...

                    I stopped reading when he insulted Godzilla 2000.
                    WARNING:
                    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                    Comment

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