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  • Village Fool
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Apr 2008
    • 12

    #1

    Greetings

    Hello, I stumbled across this holy website some hours ago, however with this brain I have been given have only just found the introduction section. In the past few years I felt myself slip from the hand of the lord, the more I tried to come closer to him, the further I felt from him. I decided that the only way to sustain any spiritual relationship was to cut out anything non religious, including any Internet sites not completely related to the lord, TV, unless of course related to the holy father, and all friends, as I believed them to be dragging me down through their generic music that cursed and used the lords name in vein.

    I am now on a journey of purging myself of any sin, through any means possible, including scalding hot water, wax and chocolate. I feel that this site could offer me the proper path to enlightenment, and ensure that I do not stray to the unsaved ones out of my circle through strict rules and persistance, as it is the only way.

    I hope you will accept me into your society, however not so much that I feel comfortable but more that I feel you will properly deal with me should I stray.
  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22895

    #2
    Re: Greetings

    Originally posted by Village Fool View Post
    Hello, [...]
    Welcome to Landover. You seem a little hard on yourself, perhaps you are a grievous sinner. Tell us, what is
    (i)Your favourite Bible verse and why?
    (ii)The denomination of your last church?
    (iii)Your view of Transubstantiation? (Do not write more than 20,000 words)
    (iv)The age of the earth?
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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