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  • #1

    Hey all

    Hi I'm wally! I'm a portuguese student and the main reason i joined this forum was so i could be able to post in a particular thread (link following)
    I, in no possible way, agree with your ideals! But heck, we live in a free world!
    So, hello everybody!
    Link:
    Portuguese people, lazy, rude, ugly, drug selling catlics - The Landover Baptist Church Forum
    http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=966738#post966738:lol::lol::lol:
    Serving God with True Christian™ art. Gays, Mexicans and Clinton voters not welcome!
    Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
    abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Hey all

    I forgot something " Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus."
    So, i go to no church, i'm an atheist and my favourite bible verse is "he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn" (like unicorns are real, right?)
    I didn't found jesus yet, and if i do, i may convert to christianity! In the meantime, still atheist!
    Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
    abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Hey all

      Originally posted by Wally's View Post
      Hi I'm wally! I'm a portuguese student and the main reason i joined this forum was so i could be able to post in a particular thread (link following)
      I, in no possible way, agree with your ideals! But heck, we live in a free world!
      So, hello everybody!
      Link:
      http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...lol::lol::lol:
      Hello Wally's, and welcome to our friendly forum!

      How many priests anally raped you as a small cathlic altar boy? Do you pray to your dead family daily? Do you wear a magick scapular made of filthy felt in hopes to ward of the evil eye like the mormons do?

      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hey all

        Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
        Hello Wally's, and welcome to our friendly forum!

        How many priests anally raped you as a small cathlic altar boy? Do you pray to your dead family daily? Do you wear a magick scapular made of filthy felt in hopes to ward of the evil eye like the mormons do?

        Hey mary,
        I will try to answer your questions as accurate as possible!
        - I've been in two catholic schools, since i'm 6 years old, and can't remember any priest raping me (it was dark most of the time so maybe i didn't notice)
        - The only dead family member that i've known in my my life is my great-grandmother, and she was 98 when she past away!
        - You really had me checking my underpants with that one, you silly! the answer is no!
        I hope i've answered your questions as accurate as possible
        Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
        abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hey all

          Hello and welcome to God's favorite forum!

          Being a monkey worshiper and all, your stay will probably be short. I have to ask you one thing though; why do you hate God?

          YIC
          "Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up." (Hosea 13:16)

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hey all

            Originally posted by Brother Jared View Post
            why do you hate God?
            I don't hate god! never said that... I can't hate something i don't believe in!
            Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
            abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hey all

              Originally posted by Wally the Wop View Post
              I don't hate god! never said that... I can't hate something i don't believe in!
              Dear Greasy Dago;

              Why are you here? "Unsaved NOT welcome" is our motto.

              If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

              If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

              You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

              Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

              YIC,

              --Pastor Ezekiel
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Hey all

                Originally posted by Wally the Wop View Post
                I don't hate god! never said that... I can't hate something i don't believe in!
                Well, you can be sure God hates you! Have fun burning in eternal hellfire!
                "Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up." (Hosea 13:16)

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Hey all

                  Originally posted by Brother Jared View Post
                  Well, you can be sure God hates you! Have fun burning in eternal hellfire!
                  AMEN! I thank the Good LORD Every Day for His Mercy!
                  Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Hey all

                    Originally posted by Wally the Wop View Post
                    I don't hate god! never said that... I can't hate something i don't believe in!
                    Why do you deny His existence? Is not the sanctity of life a gift you enjoy most days?
                    Imagine how you'd feel if there was a party, one you created and not a single person there acknowledged you or your efforts. I know you are just a portugese but decent people consider it rude. I suppose we can not expect much from you.
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Hey all

                      I give up! you're just too crazy! If you could show me how to delete this account i would be very appreciated!
                      Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
                      abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Hey all

                        Originally posted by Wally the Wop View Post
                        I give up! you're just too crazy! If you could show me how to delete this account i would be very appreciated!
                        Dear Hatemonger;

                        I'm sorry, but it is our policy NEVER to remove the account of an unsaved fool. Your belligerent hatemongering will remain for future unsaved scum to see and learn from for all eternity (or until Jesus returns to slay most of the earth, whichever comes first).

                        Jesus called you here for a reason, so you might rethink your selfish tantrum and stick around.

                        If you'd really like to remove yourself from our Godly forum, all you need to do is to click on that tiny red "x" in the upper righthand corner of your computer screen. Then close your computer, stand up, and walk away.

                        YIC,

                        --Pastor Ezekiel
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Hey all

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post


                          Jesus called you here for a reason

                          l
                          Nope, Facebook
                          Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
                          abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Hey all

                            Originally posted by Wally the Wop View Post
                            Nope, Facebook
                            You wont be so cocky when you're getting raped every single day by satan's minions in hell!
                            "Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up." (Hosea 13:16)

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Hey all

                              Ah, love your "Ex-masturbator" achievment!!!
                              Love it! I wish I could stop masturbating, but I just can't.
                              Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
                              abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

                              Comment

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