Praise the lord

[GodSchmod]

Hi. I'm new and want to say hello.

I have lots of questions I hope you can answer.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Praise the lord

Hi. I'm new and want to say hello.

I have lots of questions I hope you can answer.

What kind of introduction is that? Look right above your post...that's the stuff we're interested in.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[GodSchmod]

Re: Praise the lord

Sorry about that.

I don't belong to any church, and definately won't be buried near one, I'm hoping to get shot into outer space in a deep freezer so advanced aliens will find me, thaw me out and bring me back to life.

my favourite verse is this one "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses" - Ezekiel 23:20 (always cracks me up)

I found Jesus watching the Life of Brian. (I still think Life of Brian is a much better story)

Cheers

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Praise the lord

Sorry about that.

No problem at all! We are a very forgiving bunch (Matthew 6:14-15).

I don't belong to any church, and definately won't be buried near one, I'm hoping to get shot into outer space in a deep freezer so advanced aliens will find me, thaw me out and bring me back to life.

I don't recall any mention of "aliens" in the Bible.

my favourite verse is this one "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses" - Ezekiel 23:20 (always cracks me up)

Yes, all of Ezekiel is very instructive.

I found Jesus watching the Life of Brian. (I still think Life of Brian is a much better story)

Never heard of it.

Now, how many sons have you borne for your husband? Do you have his permission to be here?

YiC,

Zech

[Alterboy]

Re: Praise the lord

Sorry about that.

I don't belong to any church, and definately won't be buried near one, I'm hoping to get shot into outer space in a deep freezer so advanced aliens will find me, thaw me out and bring me back to life.

Have you been watching the Satanic propaganda machine called "The History Channel"? Giorgio Tsoukalos not only has evil hair, he is a FALSE godless prophet. True Christians don't watch that heathen channel or any shows on it.

my favourite verse is this one "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses" - Ezekiel 23:20 (always cracks me up)

Ezekiel is an amazing chapter in the Word of God. This verse has always served to remind me that size queens are demonic. A TRUE Christian woman doesn't lust, she adores! And she adores the size of her husband's morals more than his genitals.

I found Jesus watching the Life of Brian. (I still think Life of Brian is a much better story)

I am so thankful that some good came out of that demonic English film! Hosanna!

YIC
Jon

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Praise the lord

...I'm hoping to get shot into outer space in a deep freezer so advanced aliens will find me, thaw me out and bring me back to life.

OK friend, setting aside for a moment the fact that aliens are make-believe, I can see a real problem with this scenario: When you die, your soul will either go to Heaven (highly unlikely in your case, but it could happen) or it will go to Hell.

Either way, your soul will have gone somewhere else long before these aliens of yours bring your body back to life.

Do you really think that being a mindless, soulless zombie monstrosity is an adequate substitute for true aeternal life with Jesus?

[twintailedprincess]

Re: Praise the lord

Why do you hate Jesus?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Praise the lord

Hi. I'm new and want to say hello.

I have lots of questions I hope you can answer.

First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. We're right and you're wrong, according to Jesus and the Holy Word of God. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.

Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed HERE. Please contact a Pastor immediately if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.

Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here uninvited, and unwelcome .

If you want to debate people, THIS is the place to go.

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.