[Mr. Sam Woo]

Re: Introducing post!

Yesterday morning the girl come and read me Bible in my office. She come again today. You know what minimum wage is in SF? TEN DOLLAR AND HOUR! This costing me lot of money! We get through Genesis, but it no make sense! Nothing about Jesus in there. Can I skip ahead to Jesus part? Time is money, my friend, time is money!

Maybe I make donation to church? You know, a little something to sweeten the wheels of progress!

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Introducing post!

If they only need it after "65" that doesn't explain the huge market and why so many animals are used.

I'm sorry, I think I need to go to my prayer closet, this is leading my mind into unsafe territory.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Introducing post!

Really, you're going to cause Brother Harold Porter to get parking tickets? Sounds like you have delusions of grandeur, Mr. Woo.

Better you should stick to things you know, like cleaning my pants.

[Mr. Sam Woo]

Re: Introducing post!

I change my picture back! I hope this Harold Porter no try to mess with me! I got friend in high places! I bet I could pick up phone and then Harold Porter be getting lots of parking tickets everywhere he go!

Maybe we get off on wrong foot though. You think Harold Porter will help me be Christian?

I pay a girl to come to my office and read me Bible starting tomorrow morning!

[Mr. Sam Woo]

Re: Introducing post!

I 73 years old! I only need rhino horn since I was 65. Yeah, one child per family is only in mainland China. Lot of people no want their daughters because of it! No problem for me! Creates good opportunity for import/export business, if you know what I mean!

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Introducing post!

What is this? Somebody change my picture!

And then I get this message:




And why it says Unsaved Trash? I try to help a guy with traditional Chinese medicine! Chinese medicine the best! You guys don't even know about Qi.

Okay, I know this is about as unladylike as I can possibly get but it's a question that has bothered me for years.

Since 99.999999% of chink "medicine" is based on **ahem** virility, can't chink men get it up? I mean if you need to eat the penis of every animal that has ever walked the face of the earth, and any part of the animal that even remotely looks like a penis (i.e. rhino horn) just to breed, how is it there's a billion of you around.


Of course that also leads me to ask, how is the Chinese population growing when they're only allowed one child per family.

Do chink women have litters? Do they lay eggs? What's the deal?

[Mr. Sam Woo]

Re: Introducing post!

What is this? Somebody change my picture!

And then I get this message:

Dear Mr. Sam Woo,

You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forum.

Reason: Sexing it up for satan
-------
This is God's Church, not a smut shop. Kindly dispense with hawking filthy sexual products. This is not gooktown.
-------

This infraction is worth 66 point(s) and may result in restricted access until it expires. Serious infractions will never expire.

Original Post:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=989251

Quote:
Hey buddy, we all been there! I know it not fun when you can't please your wife!

You stick with me buddy, I got powdered rhinoceros horn! Shhhh! Very hush, hush! Loose lips sink ships, right buddy?

I sell you small vial for $300. Normally $350, but I give you deal! One pinch of rhino powder and you can keep it up for days!

I 73 years old! Works like a charm every time!

You send me your number, buddy, I take care of you!

All the best,
The Landover Baptist Church Forum

And why it says Unsaved Trash? I try to help a guy with traditional Chinese medicine! Chinese medicine the best! You guys don't even know about Qi.

[Mr. Sam Woo]

Re: Introducing post!

I no understand. Christian like Buddhist, right? You take vows, you in the club. I ready to take vows now!

[Alexandria Puckett]

Re: Introducing post!

Pastor Ezekiel can you make me Christian now? I wanna get this show on the road. Time is money, my friend, time is money!

Mr. Woo, I'm sorry, but you are being extremely disrespectful. I know you can at least grasp the idea of Christianity! Haven't you even heard of the religion at all? Nobody can "make" you a Christian...I'm sorry I'm personally offended and hurt by this. If anyone needs me I'll be praying on my porch swing.

[Mr. Sam Woo]

Re: Introducing post!

Oh sorry David Shylock, I no see your post! Why you talk trash about these nice people? You try to rip them off?

[Dr. Isaiah Jones]

Re: Introducing post!

Herro,

cheng-gong ping pong

ding dong ping ling?

[Mr. Sam Woo]

Re: Introducing post!

Yeah Faith Machine, I know you! You the guy always come in my store with airplane glue stain on your pants! I tell you again and again, why you no build snap-together model? Avoid getting front of your pants all crusty from glue drippings!

Mr. Hutchins, I have to talk to you about last delivery! Was only 9 girl! What happen to number 10?

Pastor Ezekiel can you make me Christian now? I wanna get this show on the road. Time is money, my friend, time is money!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Introducing post!

Remember the deal.
No mention of the stains on Pastoral robes, I do not discuss the multiple 'family members' arriving in the containers of my truck.

[David Rothstein]

Re: Introducing post!

Very nice to meet all of you! I no know what Johnny Freehold mean when he say accept Jesus but I happy to accept! Look forward to meet you all in person soon! If you know good realtor in Freehold, you have him call me! Tell him I just take a look. Not buying today!

Good luck. I have offered the corn-fed denizens of Freehold several outstanding business opportunities that would have substantially increased the tax rolls, yet was shunned and denied because I am a Jew.

Be warned, the bigotry and racial hate will prevail over common sense. Freehold is a depressingly sad community of ignorant and insecure mouth-breathing fundamentalists.

Shalom,

David

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Introducing post!

Not so fast there, buddy. You think they let just anybody move to Freehold? Have you even been in touch with the Freehold Homeowner's Association?

Anyway, hi. I see that you live in San Francisco. I wonder if you've ever seen me preaching on the street in China Town? I do that frequently.

Is that opium you're smoking?