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I have taken precautions to avoid such a disgrace, but never-the-less satan has managed to worm his way into my wife's nether-region. And this in spite of fervent prayer, use of the thrice blessed gunny sack, lovingly applied kidney punches, etc.
It began during an especially vigorous seeding session. I was determined and driven by the Holy Spirit to implant another son within her belly. As I approached arrival, I was suddenly distracted by a series of low grunts, punctuated by a high pitched shriek. In utter disgust, I withdrew before the demon within her could sink its fangs into my manhood. What occured next will haunt me forever.
Satan took his parting shot and delivered a devestating sucker punch to the prostate, forcing my seed to spill upon the sheets, and sending billions off unborn babies directly into the lake of fire...
Being too mentally and physically exhausted to beat the devil out of the woman, I decided to leave her confined in the gunny sack for the night, so she could pray for forgiveness without distraction.
Unable to fall asleep, partly because of the thoughts weighing heavily on my mind, and partly because of the incessant screaming, I sought solice through self deception...maybe those unGodly grunts and groans were born of discomfort,or maybe even pain. A smile spread across my face and I was soon sleeping like an infant...
However, the next morining my woes were renewed. Despite her meditatons within the blessed gunny sack, she arose with a twinkle in her eyes and a lilt in her step. She seemed less nervous, less on edge...never a good thing.
Brothers, I need your guidance and prayers, please help me! If this happens again, I'll have to stone her!
Yours in Christ,
WH
It began during an especially vigorous seeding session. I was determined and driven by the Holy Spirit to implant another son within her belly. As I approached arrival, I was suddenly distracted by a series of low grunts, punctuated by a high pitched shriek. In utter disgust, I withdrew before the demon within her could sink its fangs into my manhood. What occured next will haunt me forever.
Satan took his parting shot and delivered a devestating sucker punch to the prostate, forcing my seed to spill upon the sheets, and sending billions off unborn babies directly into the lake of fire...
Being too mentally and physically exhausted to beat the devil out of the woman, I decided to leave her confined in the gunny sack for the night, so she could pray for forgiveness without distraction.
Unable to fall asleep, partly because of the thoughts weighing heavily on my mind, and partly because of the incessant screaming, I sought solice through self deception...maybe those unGodly grunts and groans were born of discomfort,or maybe even pain. A smile spread across my face and I was soon sleeping like an infant...
However, the next morining my woes were renewed. Despite her meditatons within the blessed gunny sack, she arose with a twinkle in her eyes and a lilt in her step. She seemed less nervous, less on edge...never a good thing.
Brothers, I need your guidance and prayers, please help me! If this happens again, I'll have to stone her!
Yours in Christ,
WH
Didymus, I haven't found a Christian Man who would stand my yapping (I'm afraid that the only solution will be to cut out my tongue; Matthew 18:8-9). In the meantime, I'm following Mary's example (Luke 10:42; see also I Corinthians 7:34)
Whatever it is, it's probably disgusting. That's exactly why women should not come to men's forum! I'm out of here!
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