[Brenda Lee Jenner]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

How hateful of you

Your father has brought you up and kept you safe from rape all these years and you ruin his brekko?

Shame on you!

YIC

I am sorry Dr., I screw up EVERYTHING!!! I am trying, and now I'm so upset again.....I deserve to be shamed. I am sure this is all part of God's plan.

I tried to post in the MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES thread but apparently Jesus is forbidding me. If I don't find a husband soon, I'm going to be old and useless (more so than now). I am 16 years old and my biological clock is ticking.

I have to go clean up the can of paint I spilled on the dog, maybe when I come back Jesus will let me post in the Singles thread?

Dad wants to say something again;

Well Brenda Lee doesn't have to clean the dog, as it's DEAD!!!! I implore you to please let her advertise for a suitor.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

Brenda, my dear, you are more than welcome to post a reply to any thread in the Meet Christian Singles sub-forum. It's just that you can't start a new thread there unless or until the Lord moves our admin staff to promote you to the rank of Forum Member.

I am praying real hard that you will soon experience this blessing. My advice is that you continue to keep Jesus front and center in your life at all times, and try to make sure the things you post here are as Bible-centric as they possibly can be.

For example, it's all well and good to tell us you deserve to be shamed, but can you back that idea up with a Bible verse which proves it to be true?

Carry on my dear; as I said, I'm pulling for you. Pulling real hard.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

I am sorry Dr., I screw up EVERYTHING!!! I am trying, and now I'm so upset again.....I deserve to be shamed. I am sure this is all part of God's plan.

I tried to post in the MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES thread but apparently Jesus is forbidding me. If I don't find a husband soon, I'm going to be old and useless (more so than now). I am 16 years old and my biological clock is ticking.

I have to go clean up the can of paint I spilled on the dog, maybe when I come back Jesus will let me post in the Singles thread?

Dad wants to say something again;

Well Brenda Lee doesn't have to clean the dog, as it's DEAD!!!! I implore you to please let her advertise for a suitor.

What you need to do is to show that you have some womanly skills that befit a Christian woman in her role as a helpmeet for her man.

What can you actually do?

People have been trying to help you but your truculent, obstructist obsfucation and obtenebration is making it gosh darned hard work.

YIC

[Faith_Machine]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

Dr. Niles, is it your professional opinion as a clinician that she would at least be capable of laying back and allowing herself to be impregnated? If so, perhaps she might make a suitable bride for a man who can afford to have hired help take care of the cooking and cleaning?

Or if no man will have her as his bride, perhaps she could be a handmaid?

Genesis 16

16 Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.

2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.

3 And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.

4 And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.

5 And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the Lord judge between me and thee.

6 But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thine hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face.

7 And the angel of the Lord found her by a fountain of water in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur.

8 And he said, Hagar, Sarai's maid, whence camest thou? and whither wilt thou go? And she said, I flee from the face of my mistress Sarai.

9 And the angel of the Lord said unto her, Return to thy mistress, and submit thyself under her hands.

10 And the angel of the Lord said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude.

11 And the angel of the Lord said unto her, Behold, thou art with child and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael; because the Lord hath heard thy affliction.

12 And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him; and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren.

13 And she called the name of the Lord that spake unto her, Thou God seest me: for she said, Have I also here looked after him that seeth me?

14 Wherefore the well was called Beerlahairoi; behold, it is between Kadesh and Bered.

15 And Hagar bare Abram a son: and Abram called his son's name, which Hagar bare, Ishmael.

16 And Abram was fourscore and six years old, when Hagar bare Ishmael to Abram.

The Lord always finds a use for those who are willing to be rigorously used by Him!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

Or if no man will have her as his bride, perhaps she could be a handmaid?

Concubine, however, is higher risk.

[Brenda Lee Jenner]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

After the dog licked the lead paint and died and I became hysterical, Dad gave me a pill. I am very calm now and ready to get on with my teachings and finding a husband.

Dad says it is important for me to dress appropriately.

1st Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

My hair is straight, I have no make up and I think I'm sober (usually I'd be crying, but Dad says to take these vitamins once a day...and they make me so calm).

Dad says the best way to avoid fornication, is that I get married, because there is only one reason for a man to seed me.

1st Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
1st Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

I already know to keep my yap shut in church (because I am a girl, not a boy...and girls are lesser, because God says so.)

I feel good today, I am so happy to have met you all. And thank you Mr. Machine for pulling for me.

[Mary Thompson]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

After the dog licked the lead paint and died and I became hysterical, Dad gave me a pill. I am very calm now and ready to get on with my teachings and finding a husband.

Dad says it is important for me to dress appropriately.

1st Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

My hair is straight, I have no make up and I think I'm sober (usually I'd be crying, but Dad says to take these vitamins once a day...and they make me so calm).

Dad says the best way to avoid fornication, is that I get married, because there is only one reason for a man to seed me.

1st Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
1st Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

I already know to keep my yap shut in church (because I am a girl, not a boy...and girls are lesser, because God says so.)

I feel good today, I am so happy to have met you all. And thank you Mr. Machine for pulling for me.

You seem to be going a step in the right direction, Miss Jenner . I'll be praying that you keep up the good work . Next step is for your husband to find you a good husband, the trick is for him to tithe a lot of money to a church, the more money the better the husband for you.
Yours In Christ,
Mary Thompson.

[Brenda Lee Jenner]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

You seem to be going a step in the right direction, Miss Jenner . I'll be praying that you keep up the good work . Next step is for your husband to find you a good husband, the trick is for him to tithe a lot of money to a church, the more money the better the husband for you.
Yours In Christ,
Mary Thompson.

Oh thank you Mary

I want a husband and child (son) more than anything!!! I already know the verses to a good marriage. Even us women can understand them.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

I CAN NOT wait to submit to my husbands will!!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

I CAN NOT wait to submit to my husbands will!!

You vain, arrogant woman

Being so demanding of God's bounty is hubris in the extreme. You need to learn some decent Christian manners.

YIC

[Brenda Lee Jenner]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

You vain, arrogant woman

Being so demanding of God's bounty is hubris in the extreme. You need to learn some decent Christian manners.

YIC

This is why daddy sent me to Landover's holy forums Dr. Niles. I'm just a girl, I don't know any better....this is why I need True Christian(tm) guidance.

....I didn't burn the toast today.

[Godfly]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

Sometimes the sting of a good slap is the best thing to hold back the tears. None of my children dare to cry when I'm around.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

T

....I didn't burn the toast today.

Proof that the power of prayer works! I've been praying real hard that you would not burn the toast.

I've also been praying that you would not burn your pie.

I've known a few women who allow their pies to get too hot. It's awful, especially if they're tying to make a cream pie. You don't want all that cream melting and getting all runny and dripping everywhere.

[Mary Thompson]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

Oh thank you Mary

I want a husband and child (son) more than anything!!! I already know the verses to a good marriage. Even us women can understand them.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

I CAN NOT wait to submit to my husbands will!!

You should see my signature for more, this is one of my favorite verses:
1 Timothy 2: 11-15
And never forget how God wants you to have your appearance:
Deuteronomy 22: 5
1 Timothy 2: 9
Leviticus 19: 28
But above all remember that Beauty is vain and the most important thing someone should do is fear the Lord (Proverbs 31: 30)
YIC
Mary Thompson.

[Elijah Mee, PhD]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

Tell me about it. Father Flanagan had his favourites. Thankfully I was too manly in appearance even as a child.

I get you. I was just too ugly as a child. Comically over-sized facial features have never been such a blessing! Praise the Lord!

[WashedWithHisBlood]

Re: My Dad sent me here because I can't do anything right

As a Christian I personally believe that woman like you should grow some balls and man up! Your dad is probably a failure who has never achieve anything in his life other than place his misery into you; and like the Jesus said he is nothing more but a scum.

Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.