Greetings and Salivations

[Walter Van Slyke]

I come seeking fellowship with those chosen by God above all others, including possibly even themselves.

I attend the Powerhouse Church of the Presumptuous Assumption of the Blinding Light in Central Falls, RI, but only until you in Freehold grace us with a Landover satellite in this impoverished corner of what was once a blessed land.

My favorite Bible verse is 1 Samuel 6:19. Not sure why. I just get a thrill every time I read it.

I found Jesus after I hit my head on the kitchen counter and, lying incapacitated on the floor in a trance-like state for several hours, listened to an endless loop of the Carpenters greatest hits album. To this day, even though I know she's in Hell, I like to think that Satan grants Karen Carpenter some special privileges now and then, like maybe playing drums in a band with Liberace and those guys from Cameo.

[John Creeser]

Re: Greetings and Salivations

I come seeking fellowship with those chosen by God above all others, including possibly even themselves.

I attend the Powerhouse Church of the Presumptuous Assumption of the Blinding Light in Central Falls, RI, but only until you in Freehold grace us with a Landover satellite in this impoverished corner of what was once a blessed land.

My favorite Bible verse is 1 Samuel 6:19. Not sure why. I just get a thrill every time I read it.

I found Jesus after I hit my head on the kitchen counter and, lying incapacitated on the floor in a trance-like state for several hours, listened to an endless loop of the Carpenters greatest hits album. To this day, even though I know she's in Hell, I like to think that Satan grants Karen Carpenter some special privileges now and then, like maybe playing drums in a band with Liberace and those guys from Cameo.

Hey Walt - I somehow doubt your sincerity. Do you know what God says about liars?

Proverbs 19:9 A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaketh lies shall perish.

[Walter Van Slyke]

Re: Greetings and Salivations

Hey Walt - I somehow doubt your sincerity. Do you know what God says about liars?

You cut me to the quick, but I remember Paul's words and will be strengthened, not be chastened, by your doubts.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Greetings and Salivations

What is your thread title supposed to mean?



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Greetings and Salivations

Hello, and welcome to our friendly forum! Are you married, do you have children? What do you do for a living, friend?

[Didymus Much]

Re: Greetings and Salivations

What is your thread title supposed to mean?...

He's probably all hot & buttered for Pastor Zeke (the most magnificent specimen of manhood to grace God's earth since Jesus said, "See ya laters, alligators" [according to Pastor Zeke, at least]).

[John Creeser]

Re: Greetings and Salivations

What is your thread title supposed to mean?



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

What is it the kids say these Brother Smyth - "Obvious troll is obviously obvious"?

Hey Walt, do you think you are the first atheist retard troll who's tried to infiltrate our good graces?

I remember the days when they actually tried.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Greetings and Salivations

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhh... no.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Greetings and Salivations

What is it the kids say these Brother Smyth - "Obvious troll is obviously obvious"?

Hey Walt, do you think you are the first atheist retard troll who's tried to infiltrate our good graces?

I remember the days when they actually tried.

Yup.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Greetings and Salivations

I attend the Powerhouse Church of the Presumptuous Assumption of the Blinding Light

You mean the one from Firesign Theater? Failed troll is a failure.

[Brother Larry]

Re: Greetings and Salivations

He's probably all hot & buttered for Pastor Zeke (the most magnificent specimen of manhood to grace God's earth since Jesus said, "See ya laters, alligators" [according to Pastor Zeke, at least]).

Anyone that wouldn't be impressed by our Pastor Zeke is either blind or stupid. Even the blind would be impressed by the wisdom in his voice.

Shout GLORY that we have such a leader.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Greetings and Salivations

I come seeking fellowship with those chosen by God above all others, including possibly even themselves.

I attend the Powerhouse Church of the Presumptuous Assumption of the Blinding Light in Central Falls, RI, but only until you in Freehold grace us with a Landover satellite in this impoverished corner of what was once a blessed land.

My favorite Bible verse is 1 Samuel 6:19. Not sure why. I just get a thrill every time I read it.

I found Jesus after I hit my head on the kitchen counter and, lying incapacitated on the floor in a trance-like state for several hours, listened to an endless loop of the Carpenters greatest hits album. To this day, even though I know she's in Hell, I like to think that Satan grants Karen Carpenter some special privileges now and then, like maybe playing drums in a band with Liberace and those guys from Cameo.

A cautious welcome here Walter, you must realize that the younger members of our congregation here are not old enough to remember Deacon E.L. Mouse and his Firesign broadcasts on the old monaural wireless. It's natural for them to be suspicious.

When it comes to finding Jesus, while many have found Him during hypnagogic states of consciousness, in the days of the Carpenters it was more likely due to acid flashbacks, quaaludes, and anorexia. Then there is the music of the Carpenters - with its high glycemic index strings, abominable Wurlitzer electric pianos, and disco that would drive anyone to hallucinations.

Let's hope you find communion here with our True Christian™ fellowship.

[Holyfield]

Re: Greetings and Salivations

At least it knows how to spell.