Hello

[IreneS]

Hello


My favourite verse is John 15:6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.


My church is The Church of Eternal Damnation.

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: Hello

Hello Irene, and welcome to God's friendly forum!

It is always nice to see someone following the directives and posting their first post here in the Introductions subforum.

A few pertinent questions if you please:

• Do you have your father's or husband's (whichever applies) permission to be online and posting here?
• Are you legal? (By that I mean old enough to be here, 18 or older?)
• If married, how many sons have you brought forth for Jesus?
• What denomination is the church you attend?
• Have you received the hematological gift of Christ?

I hope you find your time here enjoyable and informative.

[Pim Pendergast]

Re: Hello

Welcome, Irene. Share with us your testimony of how you came to find Jesus.

[IreneS]

Re: Hello

My dear beloved husband passed away recently. He was a member of the Bendover Baptist Church. Are they connected with the Landover Church in any way?
I am well and truly over 18.
Alas, I bore no sons to my husband as he never visited my bed, preferring to spend his time with his fellows from the Bendover Church.
The Church of Eternal Damnation is independent of the obscenities that are the Catholic or Anglican churches.
As for haematological gifts - my palms bleed every March/April. Is that what you're talking about?

[IreneS]

Re: Hello

Welcome, Irene. Share with us your testimony of how you came to find Jesus.

I was an evil heathen until 5 years ago. The came the wildfire. Out of the flames, Jesus walked towards me and told me that I either accepted him into my life, or I would burn like the other 180 people who refused him. I chose Jesus.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello

You're mighty close-mouthed, Irene. Tell us about yourself. Do you have your husband's permission to be posting here? How many sons have you given him? I'm sure the ladies would love to hear about your best pie recipe...

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[IreneS]

Re: Hello

My favourite pie recipe:


Ingredients
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 large brown onion, finely chopped
500g lean beef mince
1 tablespoon cornflour
3/4 cup beef stock
3/4 cup tomato sauce
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon barbecue sauce
1 teaspoon Vegemite
2 sheets frozen, ready-rolled shortcrust pastry, thawed
2 sheets frozen puff pastry, thawed
1 egg, beaten


As I said above, I was recently widowed.
I do like the wink in your eye, Pastor Ezekial.



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Method
Heat oil in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onion. Cook for 3 minutes or until soft. Add mince. Cook for 4 minutes, stirring with a wooden spoon, or until browned.
Mix cornflour and 1 tablespoon of stock to form a paste. Add remaining stock. Add stock, sauces and Vegemite to mince. Bring to the boil. Reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer for 8 minutes or until thick. Cool. Preheat oven to 220°C. Place a baking tray into oven. Grease 4 x 8cm base measurement pie pans.
Cut 4 x 15cm circles from shortcrust pastry. Use to line bases and sides of pans. Fill with mince. Brush rims with water. Cut 4 x 15cm circles from puff pastry. Place over meat. Press to seal. Trim. Brush with egg. Season.
Place pies onto hot tray. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until golden.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello

What monstrosity is this? Are you some kind of New Zealand abo squaw? No Christian woman would try and pass vegemite off as food.

[IreneS]

Re: Hello

What monstrosity is this? Are you some kind of New Zealand abo squaw? No Christian woman would try and pass vegemite off as food.

I come from no such heathen hellhole as NZ! I'm Australian.
Praise be to God. I prostate myself at his feet.

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: Hello

My dear beloved husband passed away recently.

I am truly sorry to hear of your loss. You have my condolences.

Matthew 5:4 (1611 King James Bible)

Blessed are they that mourne: for they shall be comforted.

He was a member of the Bendover Baptist Church. Are they connected with the Landover Church in any way?

Not that I know of, but then one of our fine Pastors would be better able to answer this. I am glad to hear it was a Baptist church though.

I am well and truly over 18.

Good. We get many adolescents up to no good here, we just like to be sure.

Alas, I bore no sons to my husband as he never visited my bed, preferring to spend his time with his fellows from the Bendover Church.

Are you homely, otherwise repugnant, or lacking in hygiene, dear? Can you think of any reason you husband chose to ignore God's commandment:

Deuteronomy 30:16 (1611 King James Bible)

In that I command thee this day to loue the Lord thy God, to walke in his wayes, and to keepe his Commandements, and his Statutes, and his Iudgements, that thou maiest liue and multiply: and the Lord thy God shall blesse thee in the land, whither thou goest to possesse it.

The Church of Eternal Damnation is independent of the obscenities that are the Catholic or Anglican churches.

Well, this tells us what denominations it is not, but not what denomination it is. It is my fault though for overwhelming your delicate female mind with too many questions.

As for haematological gifts - my palms bleed every March/April. Is that what you're talking about?

I am speaking of the blood of Christ, which washes away our sins.

1 John 1:7 (1611 King James Bible)

But if wee walke in the light, as he is in the light, wee haue fellowship one with another, and the blood of Iesus Christ his Sonne clenseth vs from all sinne.

You are referring to stigmata.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello

I come from no such heathen hellhole as NZ! I'm Australian.
Praise be to God. I prostate myself at his feet.

So you must use maggots in your pie. That what you abos eat up there, I know. Did you get to hear any of my sermons during the Landover Baptist Mission to Austria we held a few years back?

[IreneS]

Re: Hello

So you must use maggots in your pie. That what you abos eat up there, I know. Did you get to hear any of my sermons during the Landover Baptist Mission to Austria we held a few years back?

Unfortunately, that was before I came to the lord. Are you planning another trip?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello

Unfortunately, that was before I came to the lord. Are you planning another trip?

Not on your life. That place smelled to high Heaven. I spend about half of my time over in the Ornamental "countries," trying to get the slants to accept Christ Jesus.

[IreneS]

Re: Hello

Are you homely, otherwise repugnant, or lacking in hygiene, dear? Can you think of any reason you husband chose to ignore God's commandment:

I keep a good house. I scrubbed the kitchen floor daily. Other than my daily ablutions, and my sleep, I spent all my days in the kitchen cooking for him and praying to the lord. He never wanted to pray with me; he preferred to pray with the menfolk (or at least that's what he told me).

Well, this tells us what denominations it is not, but not what denomination it is. It is my fault though for overwhelming your delicate female mind with too many questions.

I am making an extra special effort, despite my weak constitution, to answer. I don't know what denomination it is. They don't tell we weak females finer details like that.

I am speaking of the blood of Christ, which washes away our sins.

Where can I bathe in his blood? That sounds like something I might want to do.

[IreneS]

Re: Hello

Not on your life. That place smelled to high Heaven. I spend about half of my time over in the Ornamental "countries," trying to get the slants to accept Christ Jesus.

I fear that may been a wasted effort on your part - they are demons in those ornamental places. Descendants of Shem, the lot of them.

I read your bio. A collection of paddles! Could I see them some time?