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  • SirMufflewump
    Unsaved trash, smartassed tool of satan
    • Jan 2014
    • 10

    #1

    Hi

    Hi, I'm a devout Christian from Australia, and, no, we do not ride Kangaroo's to school. Nor do they box.
    I am doing this because Pastor Ezekeil said I have to, so hi!
    Psalm 1:1
    Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
    or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,

    Plus, Pastor Ezekiel, it's funny you have the same name as the Hebrew Prophet!

    I attend a Christian church.

    Is that all I need?


    Plus I'd just like to share some philosophical wisdom from my favorite Christian Philosopher Troglodytarum Videns:

    *** gibberish removed ***
    "God is Great"
    Last edited by Pim Pendergast; 04-02-2014, 09:35 AM. Reason: Possible satanic incantation
    Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.
  • Mother Of Seven
    True Christian™ with a quiverful
    • Jan 2014
    • 2243

    #2
    Re: Hi

    Skip, Which church, not "a church".
    We only use the KJV bible here. Why is Psalm 1:1 important to you?


    And for your education, this is what it actually says:
    Blessed is the man
    That walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly,


    Nor standeth in the way of sinners,


    Nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
    By the way, I think "Vous ętes troll".
    And what are these roos doing if they're not boxing?

    Comment

    • SirMufflewump
      Unsaved trash, smartassed tool of satan
      • Jan 2014
      • 10

      #3
      Re: Hi

      Oops!
      I have been Christian since birth!
      Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

      Comment

      • SirMufflewump
        Unsaved trash, smartassed tool of satan
        • Jan 2014
        • 10

        #4
        Re: Hi

        Originally posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
        Skip, Which church, not "a church".
        We only use the KJV bible here. Why is Psalm 1:1 important to you?


        And for your education, this is what it actually says:


        By the way, I think "Vous ętes troll".
        Sorry, um, it's called Empower Christian Church, and that's the Bible I've read, and I am rather interested in the KJV, where can I get it.
        Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

        Comment

        • Mother Of Seven
          True Christian™ with a quiverful
          • Jan 2014
          • 2243

          #5
          Re: Hi

          Originally posted by SirMufflewump View Post
          Sorry, um, it's called Empower Christian Church, and that's the Bible I've read, and I am rather interested in the KJV, where can I get it.
          So pentecostalist?
          King James Bible Online: Authorized King James Version (KJV) of the Bible- the preserved and living Word of God. Includes 1611 KJV and 1769 Cambridge KJV.

          Comment

          • SirMufflewump
            Unsaved trash, smartassed tool of satan
            • Jan 2014
            • 10

            #6
            Re: Hi

            Originally posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
            Yes, I am a Pentecostal. Thanks for the link

            Those Kangaroos are fighting, but in fact, they use their claws to scratch and gouge. They are probably males fighting for territory
            Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

            Comment

            • James Hutchins
              True Christian™
              Just a Regular Nice Guy
               
              • Jun 2009
              • 29453

              #7
              Re: Hi

              Welcome Skip.
              Pentecostals are not Christians. They are satan worshipers. The pentagram really should of given it away.
              No person is ever born a Christian. Babies are born chock full of every perverted and demented sin you could ever imagine. It is through the guidance of Christian parents and close one on one tutelage from a Baptist True Christian(tm) Pastor that a child has the slimiest chances of repenting their evil ways, becoming baptized into the Christian faith and on to lead a decent and pure life.
              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

              Comment

              • Cranky Old Man
                Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                You kids get off his lawn!
                 
                • Jan 2010
                • 22374

                #8
                Re: Hi

                Originally posted by SirMufflewump View Post
                Yes, I am a Pentecostal.
                Then you will burn in Hell. Read my insightful article on the matter: The Seven Deadly Types of False Christians.
                5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                Comment

                • SirMufflewump
                  Unsaved trash, smartassed tool of satan
                  • Jan 2014
                  • 10

                  #9
                  Re: Hi

                  Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                  Then you will burn in Hell. Read my insightful article on the matter: The Seven Deadly Types of False Christians.
                  I will burn in hell?!? Please, can you save me from eternal hellfire?

                  And I actually am part of a Pentecostal group that believes in the trinity, you can read about it here:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentecostalism
                  If you read the second last sentence.

                  But is there anyway to save me from this ?
                  Please inform me immediately!
                  Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                  Comment

                  • Cranky Old Man
                    Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                    You kids get off his lawn!
                     
                    • Jan 2010
                    • 22374

                    #10
                    Re: Hi

                    Originally posted by SirMufflewump View Post
                    Please, can you save me from eternal hellfire?
                    No. Only you can save yourself. Just start studying your King James Bible from cover to cover over and over again until your eyes bleed. Then study it some more.
                    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                    Comment

                    • Zechariah Smyth
                      Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
                      True Christian™
                      • Feb 2011
                      • 15251

                      #11
                      Re: Hi

                      Originally posted by SirMufflewump View Post
                      I will burn in hell?!? Please, can you save me from eternal hellfire?

                      And I actually am part of a Pentecostal group that believes in the trinity, you can read about it here:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentecostalism
                      If you read the second last sentence.

                      But is there anyway to save me from this ?
                      Please inform me immediately!
                      Well, first thing is you need to cast those babbling pentecostal weirdos behind you. I never saw such a load of baloney in my life...claiming to speak to the Holy Spirit by going "hoogedy boogedy yang dang ting-a-ling!" and dancing around like a bunch of drunk negros.



                      Yours in Christ (NOT JAMES BROWN),

                      Z. Smyth
                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • SirMufflewump
                        Unsaved trash, smartassed tool of satan
                        • Jan 2014
                        • 10

                        #12
                        Re: Hi

                        Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                        Welcome Skip.
                        Pentecostals are not Christians. They are satan worshipers. The pentagram really should of given it away.
                        No person is ever born a Christian. Babies are born chock full of every perverted and demented sin you could ever imagine. It is through the guidance of Christian parents and close one on one tutelage from a Baptist True Christian™ Pastor that a child has the slimiest chances of repenting their evil ways, becoming baptized into the Christian faith and on to lead a decent and pure life.
                        Sorry, I meant that I was baptized as a baby. If what you say is true, how can I have these 1 on 1 sessions with a pastor?
                        Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                        Comment

                        • SirMufflewump
                          Unsaved trash, smartassed tool of satan
                          • Jan 2014
                          • 10

                          #13
                          Re: Hi

                          Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
                          Well, first thing is you need to cast those babbling pentecostal weirdos behind you. I never saw such a load of baloney in my life...claiming to speak to the Holy Spirit by going "hoogedy boogedy yang dang ting-a-ling!" and dancing around like a bunch of drunk negros.



                          Yours in Christ (NOT JAMES BROWN),

                          Z. Smyth
                          Sure thing Pastor! To be honest I always thought it was a bit stupid but thats what I was raised as.
                          Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                          Comment

                          • Mother Of Seven
                            True Christian™ with a quiverful
                            • Jan 2014
                            • 2243

                            #14
                            Re: Hi

                            A good start in your rehabilitation from Pentecostalism would be to attend a Baptist church. You may want to try several of them until you find the one that is truly a Christian church.

                            Comment

                            • Regens Kuechl
                              Unsaved trash, foreign papist
                              • Jan 2010
                              • 76

                              #15
                              Re: Hi

                              Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                              Then you will burn in Hell. Read my insightful article on the matter: The Seven Deadly Types of False Christians.
                              Grüss Gott alter Herr.

                              I looked through the list you made there of churches you dislike, but have to ask: Why oh why didnt you include the SEVENTH DAY ADVENTISTS ?

                              In the famous Book THE FOUR MAJOR CULTS
                              http://www.christianbook.com/christi...4457/pd/804457

                              the author describes
                              The Four Major Cults: Christian Science, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormonism, Seventh-Day Adventism

                              Further you did include Christian Science neither. Why is that? Do you think them to be true Christians? You should read the critical work about them by Mark Twain.
                              Ex 20:4-5 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; <--- That includes Mary

                              Comment

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