Hi!

[piggles]

Hi all! I am a NEW CHRISTIAN! HALLELUJAH!! I feel SO good about not being ATHEIST SCUM any longer!!!!! I do have some issues I need some help with, as I'm not so sure what the BIBLE says about certain topics, maybe some of you can help me.

I have uncontrollable urges to EAT. What does the Bible say about gluttony?

Also, the weirdest thing has developed since the day I was SAVED...is it normal to sort of "lust" for Jesus? (I am a woman, BTW). HE is just so perfect, a TRUE HERO, I can't help it. Certainly he is the "knight in shining armor" every little girl dreams of having as a future husband, truly PRINCE CHARMING. Or maybe I'm just a little too crazy? What do you think?

Thanks!!

[TaraAnne]

Re: Hi!

Hi all! I am a NEW CHRISTIAN! HALLELUJAH!! I feel SO good about not being ATHEIST SCUM any longer!!!!! I do have some issues I need some help with, as I'm not so sure what the BIBLE says about certain topics, maybe some of you can help me.

I have uncontrollable urges to EAT. What does the Bible say about gluttony?

Also, the weirdest thing has developed since the day I was SAVED...is it normal to sort of "lust" for Jesus? (I am a woman, BTW). HE is just so perfect, a TRUE HERO, I can't help it. Certainly he is the "knight in shining armor" every little girl dreams of having as a future husband, truly PRINCE CHARMING. Or maybe I'm just a little too crazy? What do you think?

Thanks!!

Welcome to God's favorite forum. What is your favorite bible verse? How did you come to love our God? How many children have you had?

Now you say you are atheist only time will tell on that . The KJV 1611 is the only Bible to read I suggest you get started. Instead of picking up another twinky pick up a Bible? Your body will thank you!

[piggles]

Re: Hi!

Welcome to God's favorite forum. What is your favorite bible verse? How did you come to love our God? How many children have you had?

Now you say you are atheist only time will tell on that . The KJV 1611 is the only Bible to read I suggest you get started. Instead of picking up another twinky pick up a Bible? Your body will thank you!

To be honest, I haven't read much of the holy book just yet. But My favorite verse thus far is the almighty John 3:16 ! Who can't love that verse??! You are right, I should pick up the BIBLE instead of stuffing my face. May the good LORD guide me! Also, I have not had any children. I never wanted any until now, I feel it is my duty to birth and raise TRUE CHRISTIANS! I may not know everything I need to know to be a TRUE CHRISTIAN just yet, but God willing, I will be one day. I will try my best! PRAISE HIM

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Hi!

Hello Piggles.

Many times when people post that they like John 3:16 someone will post do they like John 3:18 I have it marked it says:

He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

That means Jewish people are going to Hell even my neighbor Morty who is otherwise a very nice man I will miss him.

Thank you.

Rusty

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Hi!

P.S. I see that you are eating a cake Happy Birthday.

[piggles]

Re: Hi!

I am so ashamed. I went to the local buffet WITH MY BIBLE. I only meant to consume a regular sized meal, but ended up eating about 5 meals worth of food PLUS dessert. What is wrong with me? I read many posts on this forum that demons enter through the Anus. I am terrified. How do I know if I have a demon? Or is it simply that I have no will power? I need Jesus to TOUCH me! TOUCH me now please I pray to thee!


I so hope that I can one day have a daughter so that she might attend a Purity Ball. HOW WONDERFUL! Is this a true Christian event, or is it an event of a false cult? I saw this video and it seems beautiful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dA-hF0yr3wg


Thank you for the Happy Birthday wish, it was yesterday! My first birthday being a NON ATHEIST SCUM SUCKER.



Amen.

[Morton Weinstein]

Re: Hi!

Hello Piggles.

Many times when people post that they like John 3:16 someone will post do they like John 3:18 I have it marked it says:

He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

That means Jewish people are going to Hell even my neighbor Morty who is otherwise a very nice man I will miss him.

Thank you.

Rusty

Rusty,

I would like to also be your friend but I do not like to be called Morty. My name is Morton like the salt - but I don't melt in the rain. LOL

The way you describe things is more profound than you think. Keep being the good man that you are and you will always have many friends.

Morton

[piggles]

Re: Hi!

I'm sorry, I forgot to add my church. I do not have a church as of yet. I'm hoping that all of you on this forum, my Bible, and of course, my personal relationship with Jesus Christ can be my church. Is that acceptable?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Hi!

Do you have your father's permission to be here? Or did you eat him?

[Morton Weinstein]

Re: Hi!

Piggles,

How can I put this?

The robemakers in paradise are concerned, ma'am. They only have so much fabric.

The Lord wants us to multiply, but I don't think he meant to that extent. I have never been thin but oy! My young eyes don't need to see that - especially when we are out of bleach.

But hey - our Lord loves you - He just would love you more if you covered up a bit. Since He loves you, so do I.

nutrisystem.com
jennycraig.com
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oops_I_swallowed_the_car.org
iwilltakeanothertwinkieplease.com

[piggles]

Re: Hi!

Do you have your father's permission to be here? Or did you eat him?

Neither. Do I need his permission? I'm an adult. I learned all of my eating habits from him. He is waaaay larger than me and is still ATHEIST SCUM. I hope I can help him believe in Jesus and one day be SAVED.

And Morton,




I understand, and I love you too! I NEED to lose a LOT of weight and I WILL succeed, God willing. Please pray for me to succeed, brothers & sisters in CHRIST.

[Youth Pastor Marty]

Re: Hi!

Welcome to Landover's forum! You seem to share our loathing for the unsaved trash that pollute God's creation, and that is certainly a start in the right direction. If that is truly your picture, we only ask that if you do decide to visit our church in the flesh you'll tithe 20% as the extra room taken up on the pew would otherwise be for another True Christian giving his 10%. Glory!

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: Hi!

Do you have your husband's permission to be here?

[piggles]

Re: Hi!

Yes I have my husband's permission. I used to do whatever I wanted, but now I'm learning that my husband is indeed the head of the household and I must do as he says! Can anyone here suggest a particular part of the Bible I should start reading? I find parts of Genesis to be boring but I will attempt to push through if I must...all for the GLORY of GOD! PRAISE!!

[piggles]

Re: Hi!

I am really really worried! I can't stop passing gas and it is so utterly disgusting, there must be an evil, vile demon in me! Please help! Are there any home remedies to cleanse my anus of the demon? Please!! It is constant stench in the air we have to open the doors and turn the fans on and the stench remains!