ASK JESUS - 2022

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Just received an answer to my efficient prayer! Jesus my pal has has a busy year with lots of great smitings, plagues and the skirmish in Youcrane. But, He is still willing to appear this Christmas and answer some questions by y'all. Obviously, every questions you send means some extra tithes to keep your modest pastor in shape. In this case also everyone who fails to communicate with Jesus will receive an extra tithing schedule.

My question: Jesus my Pal, what kind of sinners do you Hate the most? Homers? Catlicks? Females?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

I've got one. Jesus, do you ever get tired of people trauma-dumping on you? Over the millennia? I wonder if it's the same kind of person (it's OK to say if it is).

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

Oh lord Jesus, which team is going to win the Soccer World Cup? Please answer prior to the close of betting on the final.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

Hi Jesus. I have a question.
Do you ever heal persons, knowing what their malady is and how much pain they're in and being able to heal them any time you like, without first receiving a correctly worded prayer from a True Christian? Some missionaries were worried about demon possession and had a whole congregation pray for deliverance (I think they were in another country) after which the wretch was whole again. I say "again" but those people probably are never whole to begin with.

Thank you.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

When will I finally die and go to Heaven? Ever since my wife disappeared or died, still haven't figured that out, life has been worse than ever.

[WWJDnow]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

Lord Jesus, my Light, and my Savior, do you have any advice for Jewish boys who have accepted you as their Messiah? Should they still feel guilty for killing you, now that they have been saved? Do they still need to let their mothers control their lives? Do you still want them to move to the Holy Land, or are they exempt from that requirement now that they are Christians? Should they have plastic surgery to restore their foreskins? I feel that, with your eternal wisdom and your experience as a Christian growing up in a Jewish household, your insights would be invaluable.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

Dear Baby Jesus, is this legit or a scam? I sent to PM to ask Pastor Bathfire but he didn't respond.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

I know this question wasn't addressed to me, but that's never stopped me before. How come the Holy Spirit Board says "Goodbye Jesus," that seems like a red flag to me.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

Dear Baby Jesus,

for this Christmas I want more people to come in Church as the last year they were lesser than before.

[Gable Ballunder]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

Can you tell me what a Jewish knob looks like? Are they cheaper than regular door handles?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

You seem to be a bit off topic. We are discussing Christ's reaction, upon surviving to the age of reason seemingly about 12 years Luke 2:42-43, 46-47 when inane requests reach His shell-like ear. Are you claiming Jesus does not have ears? He was observed ascending to Heaven on more than one occasion and if His ears dropped off, I'm sure that would be noticed.

The question is whether there are degrees of hate or just one big fat "garden variety" hate.

[Prayer Warrior]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

Dear Jesus,

Do You have a problem with high built towers/skyscrapers? If so, what's the tallest a building can be before offending You? If not, why did You confuse the speech of the builders of the Tower of Babel?

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

Dear Jesus,

Do You have a problem with high built towers/skyscrapers? If so, what's the tallest a building can be before offending You? If not, why did You confuse the speech of the builders of the Tower of Babel?

Amen to that. There's now way the Tower of Babel was taller than the Burj Dubai? Oh lord Jesus, please knock down that heathen tower and render all the various Arab tribes unable to understand each other and thereby plot our ruin!

[Jesus]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

Bless Me! It's been a very good year (mostly) and, Glory to Me, I'm gonna come and answer your questions as soon as I finish streaming Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story on Netflix for the 7x7th time with Dad and - you guessed it - Jeff himself! So I'll be back asap but keep 'em questions reverent and worshiping or My Wrath will explode.

[Jesus]

Re: ASK JESUS - 2022

Just received an answer to my efficient prayer! Jesus my pal has has a busy year with lots of great smitings, plagues and the skirmish in Youcrane. But, He is still willing to appear this Christmas and answer some questions by y'all. Obviously, every questions you send means some extra tithes to keep your modest pastor in shape. In this case also everyone who fails to communicate with Jesus will receive an extra tithing schedule.

My question: Jesus my Pal, what kind of sinners do you Hate the most? Homers? Catlicks? Females?

Zeke ! Indeed, a great year. Free will - one of My and My Dad's (we're the same) bestest ideas! Unprecedented havoc on the old continent and we've been watching many sinners writhe in agony on Earth and in Hell. Good times!

Anyways? As you know, my Sweet Ezekiel, I hate all sinners by an infinite amount but I can still hate some sinners infinitely more than others. The characteristics you described - sodomy, poop-following, womanhood, my Mother - are are all combined in the cat lick nun and priest. Under our watchful eyes (Me and Daddy of Sweetest Sugar) Satan's been collecting all kids of devices (barbed-wire prophylactics etc.) to be used on these abominations in the very near future!