[Brother Temperance]

Re: And it is a WAR!

Pastor Ezekiel, do you even know what the bible says about women? You must think i know nothing at all...

You could've just left it there, really.

[Decerealized]

Re: And it is a WAR!

I don't know if you and Pastor Ezekiel have had some side conversations, but from what I see here, I think you know nothing at all of what's in the Bible.

He private messaged me to admit that he's really gay and that the landover baptist church really is a parody.

So what do you think i came here for bible study? Anything i quote or write from the bible you'll just say "oh you looked it up" or "you copy and pasted that", and you're partially right too because i don't care. I asked first in case you didn't notice.

Actually, why am i asking him when i should be asking JennyD why she would be so self loathing that she would even want to be a christian? I mean YOU all do know what the bible says about women, right? do i have to ask again? I haven't seen any good posts on the topic. hmmm.

[Decerealized]

Re: And it is a WAR!

OH ok, little insecure are ya?.... p a r o d y. "divine revelation" my ass.

p
a
r
o
d
y

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: And it is a WAR!

He private messaged me to admit that he's really gay and that the landover baptist church really is a divine revelation.

Really? Would you mind posting that PM right here or forwarding it to me? Because if you are lying.....and you are, I will have to give you back to SATAN.

[Decerealized]

Re: And it is a WAR!

Really? Would you mind posting that PM right here or forwarding it to me? Because if you are lying.....and you are, I will have to give you back to SATAN.

The way you seem to be filtering words on this forum? OK I'll try but if it doesn't work it's not my fault.


Dear Decerealized,

I love men and have long dreamed of tasting the cock *sigh* if only i wasn't christian, i would admit to world my gayness and become a total anal whore faggot, but i just can't do it.

Reason: The Landover Baptist Church is just a p a r o d y created by atheist Chris Harper.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: And it is a WAR!

The way you seem to be filtering words on this forum? OK I'll try but if it doesn't work it's not my fault.

Dear Decerealized,

I love men and have long dreamed of tasting the cock *sigh* if only i wasn't christian, i would admit to world my gayness and become a total anal whore faggot, but i just can't do it.

Reason: The Landover Baptist Church is just a p a r o d y created by atheist Pastor Deacon Fred.

Sorry, but you made that up. It makes no sense. First you accuse him of being gay, then of not being able to act out BECAUSE HE IS A CHRISTIAN, and then you say he is an atheist. You are a damned liar, and GOD will never forget what you said, psychotic as it sounds.

I happen to know Pastor Ezekiel and his lovely wife and two children, and he isn't gay. I mean for you to actually forward the PM WITH HEADERS so we can see if it's real. Not much to ask certainly, since you made what is a very serious allegation. But, of course, you can't.

[Decerealized]

Re: And it is a WAR!

Sorry. I mean for you to actually forward the PM WITH HEADERS so we can see if it's real. Not much to ask certainly, since you made what is a very serious allegation.

You know... now you're just wasting my time. that is real, as real as landover baptist university. check wikipedia. Why the fuck would wikipedia give false info?

Oh yes it's serious. Where's the proof that this isn't a p a r o d y?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: And it is a WAR!

You know... now you're just wasting my time. that is real, as real as landover baptist university. check wikipedia. Why the piffle would wikipedia give false info? Where's the proof that this isn't a p a r o d y?

Because Wikipedia is run by atheists. Can't you figure that out by yourself? ANYONE can get on Wiki and change it and there is no guarantee that anything on it is correct.

Why would the Democrats lie about McCain's war record? Because they are democrats. Why is all of the bailout money going to bonuses instead of bailouts? Why would six THOUSAND people (over the years) and fourteen Ordained Pastors operate this board 24/7 for the last ten years AT OUR COST....WE DON'T SELL ANYTHING. We give. Our gift is free.

Do you think I studied Theology for all these years as a JOKE? Do you think that thousands of man-hours and well over a million dollars were spent so we could play a little prank on you that might last for an hour just on the off chance that you might stumble in here one day??? You must be drunk. Or crazy.

Think about the effort that goes into maintaining this site, our servers, the cost of everyone's time, and the FACT...~FACT~...that we are exactly and literally correct in our explanation of the Bible. While many FALSE Christians accuse us of making things up, WE DO NOT! We reference the EXACT Chapter and Verse so anyone can verify EVERYTHING we quote from Scripture as literal.

Didn't you read my post to you yesterday? DO YOU THINK I JUST MADE ALL THAT UP ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT?

I am going to ban you for insulting my, and our entire staff's intelligence with your silly simpering.

May God forgive your hatred of His sacrifice for you.
Pastor Al E Pistle

[Nobar King]

Re: Atheists Declare Open War on Christmas!!

What more proof do you need?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: And it is a WAR!

[Nobar King]

Re: And it is a WAR!

Just yesterday, over at the Wacko, Texas Super Wal-Mart, they had a Mexican dressed up in a Santa outfit, ringing a bell and yelling "Feliz Navidad!," which is Spanish for "Up yours, Jesus." He had a box for people to put money into. Claimed it was for charity, but you know he was gonna steal the cash and spend it all on cheap tequilla and women.

Some beaners were bragging about Mexican Santa on the radio yesterday:

CHARRO CLAUS AND THE TEJAS KID


Let’s welcome Santa’s newest helper: his cousin Pancho, a farmer living down in South Texas who is so smart he speaks Spanish and English. Back in the day, Pancho was a mariachi singer with a whole lot of style and a fancy sombrero. But as the years passed, Pancho got, well, a little older and a little wider all around. Then one night his primo Santa Claus showed up. Santa needed some help! Pancho volunteered. And then, poof, Santa transformed Pancho into the resplendent Charro Claus with his incredibly Flying Burritos. And Charro Claus, it turns out, even had his own surprise elf—his nephew Vincente!

All Christmas Eve, Vincente and Pancho deliver toys to the boys and girls on the border. Neither rain, cloudy skies, wire fences nor concrete walls keep them from covering every inch of their newly assigned territory. And they don’t forget a single town or city. How could they? The border is their home.

For some reason these Mexicants have mixed joke wrestling, Batman (gay), lowriders and Santa Claus to denigrate whatever is left of the Holy Spirit of this season.

[Bernadette Cassidy]

Re: And it is a WAR!

My goodness! I've been having a problem with some messicants as well!

Granted, I've been rather busy for the past few months baking pies and cleaning up after hogs, but now that the Christmas season has started I turned my foolish womanly mind to more seasonal activities, such as decoratin' the trailer and cookin' up a CHRISTmas feast!

Now that sounds all well and good you might say, but the messicant problem to which I was referin' started up a few days ago, when I was puttin the finishin' touches on our trailer lights. I was standing on top of our lovely mobile home with the staple gun (it was rather cold, but Jed kindly let me wear a coat this year), and I noticed that some of his hired help was attempting to set up some sorta shrine or somethin. I clambered down to get a better look, and I saw that it was a nativity scene, only the figures were dark-skinned! I believe they had an issue with this in Italy or somewheres as well...Anywho, I immediately told Jed and he thoroughly destroyed it.

We cannot let these hell-bound Catholics take and destroy our most beloved CHRISTmas traditions. Any suggestions on what to do if they continue to attempte their wicked ways?

[Niflheim]

Re: And it is a WAR!

Some beaners were bragging about Mexican Santa on the radio yesterday:
For some reason these Mexicants have mixed joke wrestling, Batman (gay), lowriders and Santa Claus to denigrate whatever is left of the Holy Spirit of this season.

Go to hell you racist extremist

[Levi Jones]

Re: And it is a WAR!

Go to hell you racist extremist

What has your panties all in a twist, lady? Brother Nobar and I have been to Mexico twice together in the short time we have each other. Believe me when I say, he is no racist. I personally saw him minister to dozens of beaners while we were down there.

[Niflheim]

Re: And it is a WAR!

Beaners in itself is a racist insult, do not try to trick me. You are nothing but every other person here: A racist, sexist, conservative, republican, who thinks god does everything. You know what everyone? Grow Up!