[Boring Jerry]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

Than why did God make it feel good?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

Than why did God make it feel good?

He created the "climax" so negroes would know when to stop humping.

Who said it feels good?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

He created the "climax" so negroes would know when to stop humping.

Who said it feels good?

If it doesn't feel good, you're doing it wrong.

[SUV]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

He created the "climax" so negroes would know when to stop humping.

Who said it feels good?

I guess you told her, Sister Thumper

Get ready to run if she begins quoting that joo Co-hen again. JESUS!

[Boring Jerry]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

Were you talking about me or "Lumpy"? Because if it was me, I am a man. Not a woman.

[SUV]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

Were you talking about me or "Lumpy"? Because if it was me, I am a man. Not a woman.

You quote Co-hen too?

Sweet Cheeses, is there no Mercy at all to be found at all on this board today?

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

Ah, this discussion brings back such sweet memories of my "first time."

I have to admit, I was a bit of a klutz that night. Both of us were, but I think it was more difficult for Daisy Mae. She wasn't real willing to do the deed. In fact, she wasn't real willing to get married in the first place, seeing how she was just 13. But her parents needed the money real bad after their farm went bust, so $2000 later and it was all agreed. Daisy Mae put up a fuss at first, but after me and my brothers forced her to swallow a full jug of Thunderbird (the funnel helped), she calmed down. I did have a little trouble with her a few hours later when she woke up, naked and tied to the bed, but fortunately I kept a baseball bat nearby (an old trick I learned from my daddy) - a few little "love taps" and she shut right up.

It was such a romantic night - I'll never forget it. Daisy Mae sure never forgot it - after her self-induced abortion, she escaped and has been going 'round the country giving speeches to those feminazi groups, telling them all the personal details of our lovely wedding night. I'd like to whoop her ass if I ever see her again, though that probably won't happen due to the lesbian body guards she's now got. All I can do is pray that she'll accept Jesus and come back to me, the only True Christian man who ever loved her.

Maybe some of you LandOver ladies can give me some advice on how I can win her heart back. If it wasn't for the restraining order, I'd slip her some roofies and bring her home.

YIC,
Buford

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

Ah, this discussion brings back such sweet memories of my "first time."

I have to admit, I was a bit of a klutz that night. Both of us were, but I think it was more difficult for Daisy Mae. She wasn't real willing to do the deed. In fact, she wasn't real willing to get married in the first place, seeing how she was just 13. But her parents needed the money real bad after their farm went bust, so $2000 later and it was all agreed. Daisy Mae put up a fuss at first, but after me and my brothers forced her to swallow a full jug of Thunderbird (the funnel helped), she calmed down. I did have a little trouble with her a few hours later when she woke up, naked and tied to the bed, but fortunately I kept a baseball bat nearby (an old trick I learned from my daddy) - a few little "love taps" and she shut right up.

It was such a romantic night - I'll never forget it. Daisy Mae sure never forgot it - after her self-induced abortion, she escaped and has been going 'round the country giving speeches to those feminazi groups, telling them all the personal details of our lovely wedding night. I'd like to whoop her ass if I ever see her again, though that probably won't happen due to the lesbian body guards she's now got. All I can do is pray that she'll accept Jesus and come back to me, the only True Christian man who ever loved her.

Maybe some of you LandOver ladies can give me some advice on how I can win her heart back. If it wasn't for the restraining order, I'd slip her some roofies and bring her home.

YIC,
Buford

So you forced a child to marry against her will, poisoned her, tied her up, raped her, and beat her senseless, and you call that love?
No wonder she left you.

[Shadow]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

Its good not to be tied down by religion. Im able to express love how I want, why would 'god' have a rule about not have sex before marriage? Im 16, having sex with my girlfriend, and wait for it... Im not burning! I think ye're just missing out! Cmon, live your life!

[SUV]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

Oh, look at you two, kissy-kissy

[Shadow]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

Oh, look at you two, kissy-kissy

Very mature

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

Its good not to be tied down by religion. Im able to express love how I want, why would 'god' have a rule about not have sex before marriage? Im 16, having sex with my girlfriend, and wait for it... Im not burning! I think ye're just missing out! Cmon, live your life!

As long as you're both of legal age to give informed consent, go for it.

Just be sure to use a condom every time - the last thing you want at your age is to become parents!

[Shadow]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

Ya 16 is legal here.
& I agree about the condoms, too young to be parents.
Wow theres actually a sane person on here!

[AubreyO'Connel]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

Im like 16.. and ive had sex 7 times.. ride em and leave em, thats how i see it.. and all ye people waitin till your marriage.. what you are really sayin is, you couldnt get a woman cos u were the outcast, haha virgins are funny lil loner people hahaha

[Bob4God]

Re: "First Night" Advice* *Adults Only!

..haha virgins are funny lil loner people hahaha

Are you saying the LORD JESUS is funny?