[lady_c]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Don't worry your drunken little head. Our missionaries will cover all the major villages (even a few minor ones) on the island.

I'm drunk am I? Gee, I must be so drunk to not even know I am.... Thank you for opening my eyes lovely sister.

[Nobar King]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Wow, it's been years since I have drunk myself into such a state that I didn't know that I was drunk, but you do it every day? Surprising.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Don't worry your drunken little head. Our missionaries will cover all the major villages (even a few minor ones) on the island.

How did the vote on Darwin end up? I'm really uncomfortable with that one.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

How did the vote on Darwin end up? I'm really uncomfortable with that one.

It's not going to happen until our missionaries get there and save enough souls to make the Kiwis want to change the name. Even then, we're going to make sure to send a few Diebold voting machines with them.

[JennyD]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

I'm drunk am I? Gee, I must be so drunk to not even know I am.... Thank you for opening my eyes lovely sister.

And yet you expect our Pastor Ezekiel to remember you, because you sent him those nasty photographs of your tattoos the LAST time you got all liquored up?

[lady_c]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

And yet you expect our Pastor Ezekiel to remember you, because you sent him those nasty photographs of your tattoos the LAST time you got all liquored up?

Do I have tattoos? cool what of?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

And yet you expect our Pastor Ezekiel to remember you, because you sent him those nasty photographs of your tattoos the LAST time you got all liquored up?

I must be confusing myself with someone else. I recall no such photographs.

[CROSSEYEDLOVER]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Hi fellow JESUS fanatics

I found jesus about a month ago in my garden, while digging for earthworms.

At first I couldnt be sure, as I figured he would appeared at best, in a burning bush. However, in the garden he appeared in the shell of a slug.

I believe I killed JESUS yesterday while applying pesticide to my garden.

How do I go about not getting slammed by the mighty rod of GOD over this incident. I assure you this was unplanned and If possible I would rather have eaten JESUS than poison the mighty ONE.

Brother in tears

[Talitha]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Hi fellow JESUS fanatics

I found jesus about a month ago in my garden, while digging for earthworms.

At first I couldnt be sure, as I figured he would appeared at best, in a burning bush. However, in the garden he appeared in the shell of a slug.

I believe I killed JESUS yesterday while applying pesticide to my garden.

How do I go about not getting slammed by the mighty rod of GOD over this incident. I assure you this was unplanned and If possible I would rather have eaten JESUS than poison the mighty ONE.

Brother in tears

Welcome Friend.
I just gave you an Infraction for not knowing the difference between a Snail and a Slug.
It's basic Home school stuff you should really know.

[Nobar King]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Maybe you meant to post in this thread:
God's beautiful creatures.
?

[Nobar King]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

During our last meeting on Weds. night brother Richardson announced that he had secured a donation from the Hershey's company of 12 crates of chocolate bars for distribution in Australia. The company is similarly concerned with the development and salvation of that island. It is our plan to make sure each missionary is well supplied with these tasty chocolate bars to share with the natives to get them to be more open to learning about the lord Jesus Christ. For all we know, they may have never tried milk chocolate before. It can't hurt, right?

Edit--
I talked to Dr. Wayne and he informed me that it can hurt. The almond-chocolate bars could be harmful to those sensitive to 'tree nuts'. Anaphylactic shock is a potential problem. Therefore, all volunteers handling the bars will be informed of the hazard and told to warn the Australians of the risk.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

During our last meeting on Weds. night brother Richardson announced that he had secured a donation from the Hershey's company of 12 crates of chocolate bars for distribution in Australia. The company is similarly concerned with the development and salvation of that island. It is our plan to make sure each missionary is well supplied with these tasty chocolate bars to share with the natives to get them to be more open to learning about the lord Jesus Christ. For all we know, they may have never tried milk chocolate before. It can't hurt, right?

Brother Nobar, that is excellent news. I've never known of a nigra to turn down chocolate. Our corporate sponsor's product (Hershey's chocolate bars) will help the sweet taste of Jesus go down more easily over there in Austria. Glory!!

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

PRAISE! Jesus is clearly pleased with our efforts in this Godless cesspool, as he has just rewarded us (and them) by killing one of Australia's most notorious boy-buggerers.

Heath Lecher, the Crocodile Humper, and now this pervert—slowly but surely, God is ridding the land down under of its demonic influences.

Shout Glory!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Just a reminder - Deadline for donations to the mission is June 15. Remember, God knows how much is in your bank account.

[JennyD]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Just a reminder - Deadline for donations to the mission is June 15. Remember, God knows how much is in your bank account.

Is the list of missionaries to the wild jungles of Australia finalized?

I do hope they bring video equipment, so we can all see their brave missioning to the abos and criminal Australiennes!