[VictoryOS]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Think Zekey! you know who I am, ban me!

We have thousands, if not tens of thousands, of trolls who parade their tired carcasses through this forum on a regular basis. Given your lack of originality, why would anyone remember you over the other nameless faces?

If you want to leave this board so bad, then just leave.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Think Zekey! you know who I am, ban me!

Now aren't we a little attention seeking trollop.

"Oooh ban me please. Again. Ahhh. Feels goooood. Yes, it's meeee!"

Harlot!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Think Zekey! you know who I am, ban me!

If you want to be banned, why do you keep signing up? Pastor Zeke is a decent, Christian gentleman, and he's happily engaged to be married. Do not try to pull him into your sick games just because it "gets you off".

[Goats]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

That poor woman! Does she know what Zekey's like? If so, then when does she come out of the loony bin to get married?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Does she know what Pastor Zeke's like?

I'll ask you to show a little more respect to your betters. Anyway, yes, of course Sister BTB knows what Pastor Zeke is like. He is one of the most decent, loving, God-fearing True Christian™ gentlemen it's ever been my priviledge to know. Why, if he wasn't already engaged when I first came to Freehold and if I didn't meet my husband, Mr. Joseph Whitford, well...

[my worst nightmare]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Praise Jesus!
It has been a lot of hard work the past four days but we all agreed this is a state of emergency, as the number of Australiens who have found salvation can be counted on one hand with fingers left over. With help from Australien President Ron Howard, we can now formally announce Landover Baptist Church's Mission to Australia. Fifteen True Christian™ missionaries are going to the darkest jungles of that Godforsaken land to spread the Gospel to a nation of unrepentant drunks and criminals!
Led by Brother Abner Jenkins, these fifteen brave souls will land via the church's private jet in the village of Sydney on July 15 at 8:20am local time, the day after 250,000 King James Bibles should arrive via container ship at the local pier. If you're concerned that all the Bibles will be stolen before the plane even lands, not to worry, the plan is to distribute the KJV1611s via the Australiens' natural tendency toward theft anyway, so if they get a day's head start, then that's an extra day for the Lord to work His miracles!
The missionaries plan to start proselytizing in Sydney's main square, Cook and Phillip Park at 2:00pm local time, and will spend at least five hours there the first day.
Over the next year, these dedicated men and their wives will travel the length and breadth of this jungle island to all the large villages, and even some of the smaller ones. The itinerary currently includes Melbourne, Adelaide, Vienna, Brisbane, Salzburg, Canberra and more. There is a village called Darwin that they will save for last, and should have enough saved Australien souls by then to help bolster their numbers and take down this bastion of EVILution. If all goes well, and with the Lord on their side it should, by the time they're done the plan is to have "Darwin" renamed to "Salvationville".
The biggest issue facing our stalwart team of missionaries is the question of Australien illiteracy. We're praying that most Kiwis (a nickname for Australiens) have at least some basic reading skills, but fortunately Brother Abner's wife, Sister Gladys Jenkins, was a teacher before she found Jesus (see, God does have a plan for us all). She will teach the young boys how to read, which leaves the men of the mission time to teach the adult men of Australia basic literacy.
1 Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
Normally the pastors waive this when it comes to dealing with unsaved trash, but because of the sheer size of this project, they feel it's important to show the Australiens proper Godly gender roles from the very beginning.
With the Lord's blessing, we should have enough Australiens saved, particularly enough higher-end tithers, that Landover Baptist Church should be able to start building our very first southern hemisphere franchise by 2010! PRAISE!
Please join me in praying for the unqualified success of this most blessed of expeditions! Hallelujah! Amen!

Okay wench. Time to wake up to your hypocrisy.

You say all australians have criminal tendancies and lean towards theft, Do you have any proof of this? So original settlers weren't saints, but their lifestyles and habits have not translated into our modern days lives to the huge degree that your stupid worthless country has.

Secondly you believe all Australians are illitarate yet you can not even spell Australian, see what i did there, i dont know who these Australien people are, but they sure are going to love the paper you guys are bringing with you .

Look i have no idea why you have such hatred towards a place you clearly have never visited, but it isnt backed by any reasonable knowledge or understanding of the culture.

[Nobar King]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

What makes you think we hate Australians? Our mission is to help you. Why do you hate Jesus so much?

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Foster's-fueled rant deleted

I think your username is hilarious. My worst nightmare was the time I dreamed that I couldn't hold in flatulence while delivering a Sunday sermon. You or anything you could do certainly does not qualify as a worst nightmare for me or any other True Christian™ on this forum.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[my worst nightmare]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

What makes you think we hate Australians? Our mission is to help you. Why do you hate Jesus so much?

I do not hate Jesus as he doesnt exist, wake up kids there is no omnipotent force dictating the universe, time for you to go get checked out.

I think your username is hilarious. My worst nightmare was the time I dreamed that I couldn't hold in flatulence while delivering a Sunday sermon. You or anything you could do certainly does not qualify as a worst nightmare for me or any other True Christian™ on this forum.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

Well Billy(redneck name) reuben(kraut name)
I guess you really havent been here before as you would know that fosters isnt an australian drink, we dont drink it here, and it is made in the UK.

And if you are really so uptight that you worst nightmare is farting infront of a church full of people, i actually pity you

[VictoryOS]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Secondly you believe all Australians are illitarate yet you can not even spell Australian, see what i did there

Yes, I see what you did there.

[my worst nightmare]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

i know how to spell illiterate moron, it was a typo.
it isnt repeated numerous times in the belief it was correct, oh wait, isnt that the same concept as the shit you spout on here

[VictoryOS]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

i know how to spell illiterate mormon, it was a typo.

Well if you know how to spell it right, then why did you spell it wrong, tough guy?

[my worst nightmare]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Well if you know how to spell it right, then why did you spell it wrong, tough guy?

because it was a typo, a typrographical error, error meaning mistake.

i dont consider myself a tough guy, i consider myself to have common sense though, i mean jesus christ, are you guys supposed to be about forgiveness or whatever. grow up

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

because it was a typo, a typrographical error, error meaning mistake.

i dont consider myself a tough guy, i consider myself to have common sense though, i mean jesus christ, are you guys supposed to be about forgiveness or whatever. grow up

You watch your mouth boy. The good sister is trying to help you find Jesus. We do not suffer fools gladly here, hence the large banner "Unsaved = Unwelcome."

You are a guest here, you foul drunken criminal scum. So act like one.

[my worst nightmare]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

and that was another typo

typrographical error = typographical error, before you jump all over that one